Movies with Ron

This week, Chris finds out Alien: Covenant, starring Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup, and Danny McBride, is just James Cameron's Aliens! Get your friends out of cryo-sleep for this one. Also: closing doors, fixing Passengers, Zac Efron, and check out VHSRevival.com *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

This week, Jim Carrey and Keanu Reeves switch brains, Troma's got a podcast, notbadforahuman.com, Hellboy, and Ron recaps the new Guy Ritchie King Arthur flick starring Charlie Hunnam, Jude Law, Eric Bana, and Aidan Gillen. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

It's showtime, A-holes! Hope you don't mind us dropping a motherload of an episode on you. Just gonna leave this here and walk away slowly... You know the story of the Guardians of the Galaxy, but this time it's personal. Starring Chris Pratt as Starlord, Zoe Saldana as Gamora, Dave Bautista as Drax, Vin Diesel as Baby Groot, Bradley Cooper as Rocket Racoon, Michael Rooker as Yondu, and Kurt Russe...

And right when you were starting to forget Lloyd Bridges existed. Holy cow, Hot Shots! is quite the blast from our past: a slapstick spoof of Top Gun starring Charlie Sheen, Cary Elwes, Valeria Golino, and Jon Cryer, from the same filmmakers of Naked Gun and Airplane! Also: there's a movie called The Baby (1973), Matt Damon and Prince, Sam Was Here, The Nun, David Fincher, and some Jeffblum.

Move over, Reservoir Dogs. This 70s-era action thriller stars Brie Larson, Cillian Murphy, and Sharlto Copley about a seedy gun deal gone wrong. Also: Andrei Tarkovsky's Stalker, financial realities of independent filmmaking, and Bubbles. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

Ron makes Fantastic Beasts sound like a pretty decent movie. It's the story of a Hogwarts drop-out who travels to America and, through a series of unfortunate events, releases a sh!tload of magical beasts upon people, starring Eddie Redmayne. The gang goes into length about why we're not doing the new Fast & Furious movie, and we pitch our best Phantasm porn parody! *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

Ron recaps They Live, a techno-apocalyptic story of a homeless professional wrestler who uncovers a dark secret brainwashing the people around him. Also: Tom Cruise is the mummy, doesthedogdie.com, Avatar 2, and a Moon/Mute connection. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

This week, Ron demystifies Ghost in the Shell, a futuristic police/noir thriller about a bad-ass robot that just needs a little space and wants to find herself, based on the hit Manga, starring Scarlett Johansson. Also: the most horrific death in movie history, some of that new Venom movie, Super Troopers 2, and The Big T!ts Dragon. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

We want what is yours: LIFE! Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Rebecca Ferguson, Ryan Reynolds, Hiroyuki Sanada, and Olga Dihovichnaya, about a group of astronauts pitted against the first form of life found on mars. Also: Rick works on his Schwarzenegger, The Black Ghiandola, and tell John Tesh "Movies with Ron" sent you. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

The ball is back! Don't worry about seeing Phantasm I; this episode's all you need. Ron delivers an excellent recap about Mike and Reggie, two friends on a roadtrip through hell to find the elusive Tall Man who is harvesting our dead for devious deeds. Also: he who walks behind the rows, and put some Foghat in your movie. If you wanna skip the chatter and go straight to the recap: 17min04sec *MAJO...

Chris pisses Candy off, Ron recaps an excellent Kong: Skull Island starring Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L. Jackson, Brie Larson, and John C. Reilly, a little bit on Thor: Ragnarok, Why isn't there a Pixar film about ducks?, and the gang justifies some more horror movie villains. If you'd like to skip straight to the recap: 19min34sec. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

This week, Ron recaps Logan, starring Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart, about our favorite cigar-munching hero who must protect a young mutant from a society that has eradicated the rest of the X-Men. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

This just in: Hayao Miyazaki is out of retirement! Ron recaps Get Out, and it's pretty damn good, but is it worthy of 100% Tomatometer? Also, what the Justice League movie should have been, female film protagonists, and movies that feature pencils as weapons. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

"Reeves... all good episodes start with Keanu Reeves." Hey folks, this time we have The LEGO Batman Movie for ya. Hope you can understand Ron through all of Chris' laughing, 'cuz this one's a riot. Also: Screw nail guns, horror movie villians are always in the right, and Chris wants to piss off Stephen King. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

Ron recaps John Wick: Chapter 2 with a lil help from our friend Ahnold, starring Keanu Reeves as the titular assassin who's just trying to get outta the game, but gets roped into paying off a debt to a slick Italian assassin, also starring Riccardo Scamarcio, Ian McShane, Ruby Rose, Common, Laurence Fishburne, and John Leguizamo. Don't forget to check out 1981's Dragonslayer! *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD...

Grab some gear. You're gonna need it. Ron goes to see the worst movie possible and delivers our best episode ever. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

Alright, alright, alright, Ron recaps Gold this time, so fasten your seat belts, slick. Matthew McConaughey's got the gold fever in this one, y'all, along with Edgar Ramirez and Bryce Dallas Howard. Also: A Donnie Darko sequel, why Passengers bombed, I Don't Feel At Home In This World Anymore, and Rick needs a Ouija board. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

Holy smokes, M. Night Shyamalan might be returning to form, or is Ron's recap of Split just really that good??? Hit "Subscribe" and find out! James McAvoy plays Dennis, or Patricia, or Barry, or some guy with 23 different personalities with a beastly 24th about to be unleashed, also starring Anya Taylor-Joy. Also: Hollywood espionage, some Dogfight, Netflix's The Discovery, and a certain solo Wolv...

Ron enlightens us with Live by Night, Ben Affleck's new gangster thriller about running booze in Prohibition-era Florida. Also, some Wing Commander, a bit of Orson Welles, a George Lucas museum, and Rick finds something... *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

Warning: this week's pretty heavy on the Gremlins talk, cuz it's just so good we couldn't help it! And Ron recaps Passengers, starring Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence, about a space craft traveling to a distant colony planet when two of it's passengers wake up 90 years too early. Stick around to the end when the gang plays a new game. Don't forget about ratings and reviews! *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD...

We're back with another retro episode! This time Ron recaps Tremors, starring Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward as two country bumpkins who must save their small town from giant man-eating underground slugs. Alien: Covenant and Logan get the poster treatment, a bit about Gremlins, and go see Yellowbeard. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

We knew you were hungry for some Assassin's Creed, so Ron recapped it! This week we discuss some Marvel/DC shit, a bit about the new Blade Runner, and remember Brendan Fraser? *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

Merry Christmas you beautiful bastards. This week, Rick gets t-boned and Brad Pitt gets hit by two cars. Some Muppet Christmas Carol, Collateral Beauty's marketing campaign, the Dunkirk Prologue, and Ron goes to see Rogue One! *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

The gang carries on the holiday spirit this week with Office Christmas Party, a new comedy starring Jason Bateman, T. J. Miller, Jennifer Anniston, Olivia Munn, and Kate McKinnon about a team of employees who throw a big bash in one last effort to save their company. And who would you cast as Santa Claus? Let us know at movieswithron@gmail.com Look us up on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @movies...

Ron decks your halls with probably the best and most unlikely Christmas movie sequel. Bad Santa 2 stars Billy Bob Thornton as your favorite shitstick who suits up with Kathy Bates for one last Christmas heist. Hudson Hawke, more Kessel Run, and quite a bit concerning Tom Cruise await you! *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD*