Morning Crankers: Comedy - News & Outrageous Real-Life Stories

Hans and Roxy are back with another wild edition of Morning Crankers ! From the world's most disgusting ice cream flavors and an embarrassing French translation creating "pubic squares," to killer alligator attacks, a missing giraffe in Texas, overpriced World Cup food, beaver hunts, record-breaking kittens, yodelers cooling off in fountains, Karen Gillan's wrong-bus adventure, and hilarious Curio...

This week on Morning Crankers , Hans and Roxy dive headfirst into the weirdest headlines on the planet. From the biggest movies coming in 2026 and World Cup players dodging snakes in a U.S. host city, to a shocking IVF mix-up, a Supreme Court ruling on gun rights, and a TSA warning involving America's favorite snacks. Plus, a Florida man with 34 open White Claws, a toddler tossed into an alligator...

 This week on Morning Crankers, Hans and Roxy dive headfirst into another pile of unbelievable headlines. A man gets stuck in a chimney trying to rescue his dog, an Australian designer shocks the internet with rat-covered underwear, and Pizza Hut gets a new owner. The guys break down White House UFC chaos, an alleged pathogen smuggling scandal, a YouTuber's lifetime ban from Six Flags, and a wife...

 Missing scientists, courtroom meltdowns, political scandals, mummy bread, bug smugglers, Toy Story 5, and a buffalo that looks like Donald Trump. Just another weird week on Morning Crankers. 

Florida takes on OpenAI, sewer explorers creep through New York's underground tunnels, a teen burglar leaves behind a trail of dog poop, and anime fans are buying "Feet Juice." Plus, a mystery sonic boom shakes South Carolina, a woman battles a surgeon after a botched eye operation, and a couple tries cashing fake lottery tickets. It's another wild ride through the weirdest headlines on Morning Cr...

Aliens, cheese rolling, retro Pizza Huts, influencer cows, and a man pulling a police car with his manhood — this episode of Morning Crankers delivers one of the wildest news roundups yet. We break down bizarre headlines, conspiracy claims, weird lawsuits, and the strangest stories taking over the internet. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://ar...

This week on Morning Crankers , things get weird, wild, and completely off the rails. We’re talking criminals disappearing with ankle monitors, a gigantic ruby discovery, witches allegedly crawling through apartment ceilings in Springfield, pizza chains shutting down stores, strange hantavirus research, a Russian nuclear ship disaster, and a real-life WKRP radio station coming to Cincinnati. Plus,...

This week on the New Morning Crankers Morning Show, the crew dives headfirst into one of the weirdest news weeks yet. From the Mike Vrabel and Dianna Russini scandal rumors getting even stranger, to mysterious deaths tied to sensitive U.S. research projects, things get wild fast. Plus, a “fossil shark” missing since 1898 suddenly shows up near Spain, scientists talk about resurrecting extinct Sibe...

Explore the most fascinating and bizarre stories trending in 2025—from groundbreaking discoveries of new species to rare medical anomalies, unusual hobbies you’ve never heard of, and shocking historical facts. Dive into entertainment highlights like My Killer Father: The Green Hollow Murders, the highly anticipated Avengers: Doomsday, and the chilling new horror film Passenger. This episode blends...

Car payments are wrecking Americans—so what’s really driving the debt? Meanwhile, politics gets spicy as Patel fires back at Walz, Appalachian voters flip the script, and a shocking indictment rocks the FBI world. Then we shift gears into the wild—an X-shaped cosmic event over Europe, grown adults chasing cheese down hills, and the latest on Masters of the Universe and Presumed Innocent . Oh—and w...

Marriage gripes, weird wins, and straight-up ridiculous crime—this episode of Morning Crankers dives into the top complaints husbands and wives have about each other, plus a lineup of bizarre headlines you won’t believe. From a kid accidentally winning the wrong race to love taking off at 30,000 feet, and criminals stealing the strangest stuff imaginable… it’s chaos, comedy, and commentary all rol...

This episode of Morning Crankers is a wild ride through the weird, the shocking, and the downright hilarious. From a “Do Not Disturb” maximalist living their best unbothered life to the legendary status of Die Hard as the greatest action thriller of all time, nothing is off-limits. We dive into bizarre medical mishaps, celebrity drama surrounding Britney Spears, and headline-making legal decisions...

This episode of Morning Crankers dives headfirst into the bizarre, hilarious, and slightly unsettling corners of modern life. From the infamous lemon-juice bank robbers who thought they could outsmart cameras, to people escaping the chaos of today’s news cycle by literally “bathing” in nature, the crew breaks down stories that make you question reality. We also cover a politician snorkeling in a p...

This week on Morning Crankers , we dive headfirst into the weird, wild, and “wait… what?!” side of reality. From the mind-bending AI paradox to the buzz around The Story of Everything , we break down what’s real, what’s hype, and what’s just plain confusing. Hollywood is back at it again with a new Harry Potter series on HBO, a fresh Masters of the Universe movie, and Vince Vaughn stepping into a...

tart your morning the Morning Crankers way—loud, unfiltered, and just a little unhinged. In this episode, we kick things off with one of the most bizarre airport stories you’ll hear: the longest line at the Philly airport isn’t for security… it’s for cheesesteaks. Because priorities matter. Then we dive into the world of sleep apps—are they helping you rest, or quietly making your insomnia worse?...

Start your morning with a wild mix of headlines, humor, and head-scratching stories on Morning Crankers ! This episode dives into one of the strangest crime stories out of Wisconsin, explores whether frozen brains could one day come back to life, and uncovers a newly discovered tiny dinosaur that’s rewriting what we know about prehistoric creatures. We also talk real-life “pot of gold” finds, a sh...

This episode of Morning Crankers with Hans, Jeremy, and Roxy is a wild ride through the strange, hilarious, and downright unbelievable stories making headlines right now. From a woman casually eating cereal and petting a dog inside a stranger’s Springfield home, to the oddest unclaimed luggage items of 2025 (including a robot and even a meteorite), the crew dives headfirst into the bizarre side of...

Start your day with chaos and curiosity on Morning Crankers ! This episode dives into mysterious earthquakes near a top-secret U.S. nuclear testing site, revisits comments from Barack Obama about aliens, tracks Missouri’s increasing chances for measurable snowfall, and unpacks why Americans are losing trust in journalists. We also preview the biggest movies hitting theaters in March 2026, break do...

This episode of Morning Crankers goes completely off the rails — and we wouldn’t have it any other way. We kick things off debating the best true crime documentaries ever made — the ones that made you question the justice system, your neighbors, and whether you should ever whisper in a bathroom again. From shocking hot-mic confessions to internet sleuths tracking killers from their couches, we bre...

Today on Morning Crankers , Hans and Roxy dive headfirst into the internet’s weirdest and wildest headlines. We break down the exploding trend of AI girlfriends — are digital relationships replacing real ones? Is this the future of dating or the beginning of emotional outsourcing? Then it’s time for another round of Dumbest Criminals — including the viral “OnlyFans Pee Spree” woman whose public an...

This week on Morning Crankers , Hans and Roxy dive headfirst into the wild, weird, and surprisingly hilarious side of Valentine’s Day. Forget the roses and chocolate — we’re talking about the real stories behind February 14th. From the shocking origins of Saint Valentine to bizarre historical love traditions that would never survive modern HR departments, this episode uncovers the craziest Valenti...

This week on Morning Crankers, we dive into the stories shaking up headlines worldwide. The Epstein files dropped new revelations sending shockwaves across international politics and media. Minnesota faces a staggering fraud scandal involving billions of taxpayer dollars, with similar schemes emerging in multiple states. We spotlight an incredible 13-year-old hero from Perth, Australia who swam ov...

On this hilarious and eye-opening Morning Crankers Podcast , Hans and Roxy crank through this week’s nationally recognized day and dive into everything from the upcoming Masters of the Universe movie coming in June to bizarre human behavior on My Weird Addiction — including a guy who eats mealworms and roaches ! We also break down the latest ICE and immigration enforcement news that no one else is...

Morning Crankers is turning up the heat — and adding a brand-new voice. In the December 17, 2025 episode , Hans officially welcomes ROXXY (Foxxy Roxxy) as a new co-host, bringing fresh energy, sharp humor, and unfiltered commentary to the Morning Crankers chaos. This episode fires on all cylinders as the crew breaks down: • The hottest-selling Christmas presents of the year — what everyone actuall...

MORNING CRANKERS – “Space Dots & Stolen Driveways” Hosted by Hans | Runtime: ~40 Minutes A blues-rock soaked, caffeine-fueled rant-fest for America’s favorite lovable grouch. The universe is officially trolling us — and Hans is here to break it all down with premium crankiness. In today’s episode, the James Webb Space Telescope reveals mysterious “little red dots” billions of light-years away…...