More Than Fine

"Why?" It's a question we all ask. Why did this have to happen? Why is this my story? Why can't my life be like everyone else's? We can get frustrated and discouraged when the answers don't come. And yet, not getting answers isn't necessarily a bad thing. We can get fixated with getting all the answers. We read books, go to seminars, or Google, "What does it mean when..." But if you got the answer...

Do you feel like you're carrying it all in your relationships? You're doing what you can - walking on eggshells, trying to make things easier for them - but it only seems to get harder for you.  You feel trapped- like there's nothing you can do to change things. It's true- you can't change them. But you can change you. In this episode, I share what I learned about correcting one-sided relationship...

If setting boundaries (or sticking to them) is hard for you, it's probably because of THIS one thing: You're trying to "keep the peace." When we don't have good boundaries, it's usually because we want to avoid conflict, or avoid losing a relationship. But If you have to work so hard to "keep the peace," do you even have real peace in the first place? In this week's episode, I share why we often s...

We've all heard the expression, "Feel your feelings." But what if feeling your feelings just seems pointless? What if they seem to be in the way and will just end up holding you back? I know the feeling (no pun intended) all too well. In this episode, I'm sharing what God taught me about feeling feelings and what He does through them to give us the break we desperately need. Follow Michelle on Ins...

At the beginning, setting boundaries can feel not just uncomfortable, but wrong. So how can we get it right? The good news is learning to set boundaries doesn't actually start with other people. It starts with you. In this episode, Michelle talks about what boundaries really protect and how to start establishing boundaries with yourself so you can more confidently set boundaries with other people....

When the bottom falls out, all of us inevitably end up asking this question:  Is God good? It's a big thing we each have to wrestle with, but the way we move through it is actually bite-sized. In this episode, Michelle shares how she worked through a season of questioning God's goodness, and how taking her questions straight to God revealed the answers she was longing for. Follow Michelle on Insta...

Do you ever feel like God is mad at you? Like you can never do enough to please Him? So often when we feel disconnected from God, we do things to try to close the gap. But somehow it never seems to be enough. It seems we'll never measure up. But what if the things you're doing to reconnect with God are only adding to the disconnection? Today I'm letting you in on a time in my life when I felt this...

For the longest time after my divorce, I constantly wondered if my life could ever be good again. Do you know what I mean? There was a time when things seemed to be "fine"- until they weren't. And I wanted so desperately to get back there. But you know what I found out? Things were never "fine." And you know what else? "Fine" is actually not good enough.  God wants you and me to be more than fine....

Yes, I bought a wedding dress. No, I am not engaged. Michelle opens up about her journey of waiting to be married, why she bought a wedding dress, and what it means if you are in the middle of a season of waiting on God too. Purchase access to the new devotional, What Are You Waiting For? A Raw & Real-Time Journey Through Longing, Surrender, & Desires Fulfilled Join the  Uncommon Valor Mailing Lis...

We've all heard the verse, "What you meant for evil, God meant for good," but sometimes, we just don't see how that could be possible in our own lives. Nicole Unice shares how Scripture can help us understand what God is doing in our difficult circumstances, and how the stories of others can help us believe that God is remaking our own lives and bringing good through our challenges as well. Purcha...

Do you think of yourself as especially compassionate and loyal? Are you frustrated with others who don't seem to return the favor? You may have fallen for the trap of toxic loyalty. Michelle discusses toxic loyalty (also called toxic empathy) and how it often is a challenge for those who are gifted in generosity and mercy. She shares the common weak spots that lead to toxic loyalty, and how to adj...

Every abuse survivor eventually asks themselves, "Why didn't I see this? How did I miss this?" Once a survivor becomes aware that what they have experienced is abuse, what often follows is a flood of conflicting emotions like fear and shame over not having realized it sooner. Stacey Womack from Abuse Recovery Ministry Services shares why victims don't often recognize they are in an abusive dynamic...

The hurt and loss we experience in life can destroy our dreams, and cause us to think maybe we just have to take what we can get. Stefanie & Caleb Rouse share how brokenheartedness can cause us to shut down our hearts and start to settle for less than what we really desire.  Purchase Stefanie & Caleb's book, Wholehearted Love: Overcome the Barriers That Hold You Back in Your Relationship with God...

Do your relationships seem to be nothing but an endless trail of toxicity? Michelle discusses how we get sucked into the wrong relationships without realizing it, and why we tolerate toxicity when we don't have to. She also shares 4 snares that may be drawing you into toxic and abusive relationships, and reveals how to avoid attracting toxic people in the future. Tangled in Toxicity? Register for...

Culture is full of messaging that tells us we can do anything we put our minds to – and yet somewhere along the line, we begin to see that this is just not true. When the circumstances of our lives leave us feeling like we're falling short, the resulting shame and disappointment can be overwhelming. Becky Beresford shares how common cultural expressions meant to empower us can actually leave us fe...

For many coming to terms with an abusive relationship, there is often a stage in which you wonder, "How did I get here in the first place?" Michelle discusses the early stages of the abusive dynamic with survivor Tricia Lott Williford and therapist Jana Richardson MA LPC EMDR. They delve into the grooming tactics many abusers use to manipulate and deceive their victims, and highlight what you can...

When you've been in a long season of spiritual pain, you may begin to wonder if God is punishing you. It's not uncommon in suffering to begin questioning your faith and wrestling with what you believe. Dr. Alicia Britt Chole shares about the experience of disillusionment we experience in dark nights of the soul, and illuminates that the questions we have about God are not a failure of faith, but a...

Do you ever wonder if prayer even matters? In difficult seasons, we may struggle with the feeling that prayer is pointless- we may think, "Isn't God just going to do what He's going to do anyway?" Michelle shares about a dark season when she wrestled with trusting God and how prayer played a huge role in helping her get unstuck.  Purchase Ignite: Strategic Prayer Planner & Journal | Vol 2: The Bat...

Hardships and suffering can knock us down so hard that we just get tired of having to get back up again. But what if it doesn't all depend on us? Lina Abujamra shares how resiliency doesn't really depend on us doing more, but rather on simply learning to abide in the love of God for us as He works through our weaknesses. She also talks about how suffering frees us from a dependency on our own perf...

Waiting seasons can get long and the ache of unmet longing can often be too much to deal with. What do we do when God hasn't answered our prayers? Rachel Miller shares the importance of allowing longings to exist, and how to deal with times when the discouragement is overwhelming. She also discusses what God is doing through these seasons of hoping and waiting, and why God doesn't take the desires...

Most of us have a smartphone so we can stay connected, yet they may actually be making loneliness worse. Dr. Darren Whitehead discusses the impact of smartphones on your mental, emotional, & spiritual well-being, and how distraction devices worsen anxiety and loneliness. He shares how a digital fast can recalibrate your attention span, boost the quality of your relationships, and restore your spir...

Unlearning codependent behaviors often means identifying how you learned them in the first place. And while often family of origin issues are a major factor, sometimes our religious contexts can also be part of the problem. Michelle discusses 5 Bible verses that are often misquoted and misapplied that teach us to tolerate toxic and abusive treatment. She discusses why these verses often don't mean...

Whether you're in an unhealthy relationship right now or you're worried about being in another one, it's not uncommon to wonder "Is this person toxic or are they abusive?" Michelle discusses the differences and similarities of toxic behavior and abusive behavior, and why we struggle to know the difference. More importantly, Michelle shares how toxicity and abuse differ from healthy relationships,...

Many of us have times in our lives when we rely on formulas in our faith, clinging to the belief that, "If I do all the right things, everything will be okay." Yet, when we face a crisis we realize that those formulas don't hold up under the realities of suffering in this life. Kristen LaValley shares how suffering and doubt served to mold her faith, and how a crisis pregnancy developed her abilit...

When we're in a challenging time of life, it can be hard to imagine that there's much more beyond all of this. Jeff Simmons shares how each of us can not only find life beyond our current circumstances but can live an extraordinary life, available to all of us in Jesus. He shares how the way the world defines extraordinary is different than the way God defines it, and discusses how the devil uses...