MissPerceived

Most people say care is valuable. They believe childcare workers and home care aides are skilled and that governments and employers should help pay for care. But when you ask them what care actually costs — or what high-quality care really looks like — they are wildly off. In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner breaks down a new report from New America's Better Life Lab on what...

Have you ever heard the term "lifecrafting"? It comes from a new piece of research out of UCL — and it describes something you might already be doing without knowing it: using your mental energy to deliberately think through the why behind your decisions and craft the life you want over time. In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner digs into this fascinating concept, connects it...

Leah posted one question on Instagram — "What do you hold to a higher standard in your household than anyone else?" — and got 26,000 views and 200 comments. The answer that came through louder than anything else? The clutter. The piles. The stuff that just sits there while everyone walks past it pretending it doesn't exist. In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner unpacks why hou...

A listener emailed Leah with a question straight from the middle of a relationship argument: what's the difference between equality and equity and which one should we actually be striving for? In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner breaks down one of sociology's most important distinctions and brings it all the way home, literally. From time-use research and the mental load to...

Do men actually feel guilt — or does it just look different? In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner dives into one of her most viral Instagram moments and the research that sparked it: the striking difference between how men and women experience guilt in family life. Drawing on Marianne Cooper's landmark studies, Leah unpacks a concept called "upscaling" — why when life gets un...

You were told to lean in. Work harder, say yes, show up, do more — and you'd be rewarded. But what if leaning in actually created a trap? In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah unpacks one of the most important shifts she's hearing about in interviews and research conversations around the world: the lean-in generation has quietly become the leaned-on generation. From office housework to...

Why does figuring out what's for dinner feel so exhausting — every single night? In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner breaks down exactly why dinner time is one of the biggest mental load pain points she hears about across her research and interviews. Spoiler: it's not just about the food. Dinner time activates all eight mental load types simultaneously — from life organizati...

You can't fix what you can't see. In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner walks you through the Mental Load Audit — the step-by-step tool at the heart of her book Drained that helps you figure out exactly where your mental energy is going, who's getting it, and whether it's actually aligned with your goals and dreams. This isn't about changing the world or adding more to your pl...

Have you heard of #Maycember? It's the viral term capturing what parents — especially moms — experience every May: a relentless pile-on of teacher gifts, summer camp signups, end-of-year events, school correspondence on overdrive, and the pressure to make everyone feel celebrated before the school year ends. In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner breaks down why this isn't just...

In this episode of Missperceived, Leah paints a painfully familiar picture: you finally hand off a task—signing the permission slip, managing a parent’s medication, organizing a meal—and instead of feeling lighter, you feel more anxious. You worry they’ll forget, won’t follow instructions, or won’t do it the way you know would make your child or parent feel truly cared for. Leah unpacks why delega...

In this episode of MissPerceived, Leah celebrates that  Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More  is finally out—and dives into a question readers keep asking her: do some people simply have more bandwidth than others, and is it possible to grow your own capacity without destroying yourself in the process? She explains why she thinks of all the invisible planning...

In this episode, Leah finally pulls back the curtain on a piece of her research she hasn’t fully shared yet: the mental load at work and how it travels both directions between your job and your home. Drawing on her book  Drained: How to Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More  and prior research with colleagues at the University of Melbourne, she explains why the mental...

Right before launching her book  Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More , Leah found a lump in her breast on vacation and was diagnosed with breast cancer. In this deeply personal episode, she shares what it feels like to carry the emotional thinking work of a serious health crisis on top of everyday life: worrying about your child’s future, your career, your dreams, and ever...

In this episode, Leah says the quiet part out loud: your parents (and older generations) are probably not the people who can help you solve your biggest life problems right now. Drawing on themes from  Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More , she unpacks why the world you’re managing—pandemics, political instability, climate anxiety, precarious work, AI, and always-on social...

Today, Professor Leah pulls back the curtain on a sneaky problem hiding inside your already overloaded brain: duplicated mental load. Drawing on her new book  Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More , she explains why mental load is emotional thinking work, how it stretches across eight types and seven stages, and why so much of it is being quietly double- (or triple-) handled...

If every conversation about housework, childcare, careers, and the mental load seems to end in frustration, resentment, or a full-blown fight, this episode is for you. Leah breaks down why these talks get stuck, how gender norms shape what each partner hears, and why leading with your dreams instead of your overwhelm can change the entire conversation. Drawing from her research and her upcoming bo...

Should kids be on social media? Or should we ban it entirely? In this episode of Misperceived , we tackle one of the most complicated parenting questions today: social media and children. Parents everywhere are struggling to figure out the right approach. Should kids have smartphones early so they can learn how to navigate the digital world? Should parents strictly monitor and limit access? Or sho...

In this episode of  Misperceived , Leah unpacks the “gray tsunami” and explains why the real future-of-work crisis isn’t just AI—it’s caregiving. She widens the lens on care beyond moms and little kids to include aging parents, partners, friends, disabled family members, and even our future selves, showing how this rising care demand is slamming into already maxed‑out mental loads and pushing...

In this episode of  Misperceived , Leah asks a deceptively simple question: Is it actually your fault—or did society make you do it? Drawing on her training as a sociologist and her book  Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More , she breaks down what sociology is (and how it’s different from psychology) and shows how invisible social norms quietly script our choices, beha...

In this episode of  Misperceived , Leah gets honest about her late-night doomscrolling habit and why “just checking your phone” leaves so many women wired, anxious, and exhausted the next day. Drawing from her research and her upcoming book  Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More , she explains how constant exposure to heavy news and social media pings our mental load to...

In this episode of Misperceived, Leah pulls back the curtain on a powerful mental load category from her forthcoming book, Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More—dream building. She explains how women’s dreams get quietly starved as they carry invisible, boundaryless, and enduring thinking work for their families, workplaces, and communities, and why that’s a loss for everyone, no...

On this episode Prof Leah breaks down why Valentine’s Day can feel less like a celebration and more like a mental load marathon for moms, partners, and singles. She talks about the pressure to plan the “perfect” day, the emotional exhaustion of dating apps, and the hidden expectations women carry around romance, gifts, and feeling seen. You’ll hear practical reframes for taking the pressure down,...

On this episode, Leah explores how generational messages have taught women to feel shame about their changing bodies—from tight jeans and bodysuits in the 80s and 90s to today’s high-waisted shorts and leggings. She reflects on growing up hyperaware of every outline and curve, and how that discomfort still echoes when she sees her own daughter getting dressed. Through personal stories, a...

Everyone is sick right now—and somehow, you still feel bad for needing to lie down. In this episode of Misperceived, Leah unpacks why so many women feel guilty when they get sick, even when their families are fine, fed, and happily living on Hot Pockets and Uncrustables. Drawing on global stories from the U.S., Australia, and Sweden, she breaks down how culture, capitalism, and the lack of a...

January isn’t a fresh start if you’re already running on fumes from making everyone else’s holidays magical. In this episode of MissPerceived, Leah unpacks why so many women swing from December over-giving straight into “new year, new me” overachieving—launching businesses, overhauling their bodies, and rewriting their whole lives before February even hits.​ She breaks down the mental load ha...