Millennial: Pretend Adulting, Real Talk

​Episode 5 starts by revealing episode 4's secrets, ideas for Valentine's Day, and thoughts on the Super Bowl non-controversy controversy. ​News kicks off with questioning… the news. What makes New Hampshire's primary important? Is it worth the media circus? Why is it so God damned white? ​We sum up Twitter's new changes in 140 characters or less: dumb. Thanks to the Supreme Court, we can't have n...

Andrew humbles himself before God and man over last week's poor audio quality. We forgive you, Andrew, but Jesus doesn't. "Freedom" is spelled c-a-u-c-u-s if you're an Iowan or clinically insane person. We jump right into the goods with an overview of why, God, why do we do this to ourselves? How did we get here. Why don't we have nice things. The Iowa results, why they're pretty over-hyped, and o...

Note: There is an issue with Andrew's voice on this recording that we were unable to correct. We apologize for the issue and promise it won't happen again! Andrew was almost murdered by a serial killer last week, so this episode is brought to you by paranoia: saving your life, one gut instinct at a time. Divinely inspired during his near-death experience, Andrew introduces a new game designed spec...

Andrew is gearing up for an awful storm in New York. Alan Rickman has passed away. It makes us wonder: How many people are hiding their cancer? And why? ­The Iowa caucus is getting close! We look at the frontrunners (lolTrump) and a Sarah Palin endorsement. “Wait, what’s a caucus?” asks Denmark resident Selina. ­Listen feedback addresses uncut dicks and Natalie Cole (— sorry that these two had to...

Season 2 of #Millennial has arrived! The four hosts survived their New Years celebrations (thanks in part to staying home), and one of us became a mage. What’s a mage? Speaking of partying, someone in this episode is secretly drinking. Who is it? Take a guess and we’ll share the answer on 2x02. The new year ushers in big new changes for our Patreon. New benefits and milestones are now available fo...

It's the end of the year and the end of our first season -- so it's time to celebrate!  The hosts all have drinks to enjoy… but some couldn't resist starting to drink before we hopped onto Google Hangouts. Uh oh. Star Wars: The Force Awakens has arrived, and for the most part, we love it. Don't worry, we don't share any spoilers. What are we up to this holiday break? It's time to open our Secret S...

DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUN DUUUUUN DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUN!!! If you knew that was the Star Wars theme song, congratulations on reaching Level 10 Master Nerd status. Seriously, we're PUMPED to be visiting a galaxy far, far away again, and the new Fantastic Beasts trailer is the cherry on our movie madness sundae. "$5 to take a shit, please." Words you could be hearing on your next flight? So says Congr...

As the season finale gets closer and closer, we get a little nostalgic and invite ex-host Micah to join us for a very Trump-filled episode. The holiday season is about gift-giving (and nothing else) but sometimes it's a little stressful to find the perfect item for a loved one. So, the hosts have a few suggestions to help you out this festive season. We take a moment in the show to discuss the hor...

Are we still doing this? Yes? Okay. This week's episode kicks off with a Secret Santa announcement that's going to have all four of us at the top of this year's Naughty List. Quickfire News takes us through the week's most gripping headlines 2 minutes at a time, wherein we try to wrap our heads around the cowardly Planned Parenthood shooting, Jeb Bush's dwindling credibility, and why ISIS fucks wi...

It’s a holiday week here in the United States, so the hosts are thinking less about ISIS and more about FUN in the 42nd edition of #Millennial. Congratulations to our raffle winners who’ve won a free month of Patreon for supporting us on iTunes! With Thanksgiving on the horizon we share family dinner horror stories from our listeners. We pray none of you have similar experiences this Thanksgiving....

To our French listeners and friends: we know you've heard so many condolences over the past week, so we hope ours don't sound rote or insincere. We hope you believe us when we tell you that our hearts bleed for you. We were nauseated by the unconscionable attacks orchestrated by those psychofuck pigs. But if there's one thing our shared history has taught us, it's that France is built of stronger...

#Millennial turns 40 (weeks) in this mid-life crisis of an episode. Shooting the Shit opens the show with a new raffle opportunity for anyone who wants to leave an iTunes review and win a month of free Patreon. (After you've reviewed, enter here: https://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/c46bdea41/ ) The birds and the bees are important, and not just because they serve as convenient euphemisms for...

It’s an Andrew-less episode this week. Buckle up, this is gonna be a rough ride. Our friend John Thrasher joins us - check out his podcast, Currently!  And in this week’s After Dark: A viral video of a school resource officer beating a teenage girl apparently isn’t evidence enough for some that we have a police brutality problem. We also can’t stop talking about Paul Ryan. GTFO our show, Paul. Lau...

​Welcome back, sycophants. Episode 38 opens with a quick recap of the presidential election, wherein we bemoan the loss of both Joe Biden's and (probably) Jeb Bush's campaigns.​ Murdering toddlers: not as clear-cut of an issue as you might think. News kicks off with a warning for the small percentage of the population that eats meat. Harry's back! And not just Harry, but his son, Albus Severus Sir...

The new Star Wars movie is on the way, and Andrew reminds us all why it's important to stick a light-saber up your butt. Also: ​Congratulations on your hot new Prime Minister, Canada! Speaking of elections, we recap last week's Democratic debate and fight over who won versus who only appeared to win. Listener feedback reveals our listeners hate us. And this week's news kicks off with some gay shit...