MILKLESS

You heard it here first, y'all: eating healthy and exercising makes you live longer AND does wonders for your mental health. Oh, wait, literally everyone is already saying this? Well, then maybe we should talk about how the f*ck you get yourself to do it consistently - particularly with young kids. This is not something Max and Matt have mastered, which is exactly why it's not intolerabl...

If you haven't listened to Part 1, go back and start there at Episode #42. Look, not everything about being a parent is that awesome. We all know it. Let's just say it. Actually, let's make a list, and then hang out and holler about how mad we sometimes get about this stuff. Sounds great, actually. Carthadic. Let's do it. We might even figure out some things to try, see if we c...

Look, not everything about being a parent is that awesome. We all know it. Let's just say it. Actually, let's make a list, and then hang out and holler about how mad we sometimes get about this stuff. Sounds great, actually. Carthadic. Let's do it. We might even figure out some things to try, see if we can't make it all go a little smoother. It's a Hot Takes, y'all. T...

First off, don’t worry. We’re not coming for your phones. We LOVE our phones! Also, without them, it would much, much harder for you to listen to this podcast. But then there’s this uncomfortable truth that nobody really wants to talk about... including The Boys. It might just maybe be possible that we're all waaaaay too connected to our devices, and it's really f*cking with our heads an...

Hey y'all, so Matt wrote a kids book! Violet Archer and the Case of the Purple Martin is an early chapter book (the first in a series) that follows the investigations of kid detective Violet Archer and her investigative partner, Baba - a Jack Russell Terrier. Max read the manuscript and freaked out over the writing. Then he spent the next 6 months (and hundreds of hours) moving mountains to g...

For parents, there are few things more grating than the sound of your kids whining. It is biologically engineered to snap us into action. Unfortunately, it frequently snaps us into a rage, and literally all children do it - at least sometimes. Matt and Max are on a mission to handle their kids' whining better - and to try to dodge it completely whenever possible. So, why do kids whine? Why do...

Kids cry. It's universal. It's also one of the hardest things to handle well as a parent, because - as effed up as it feels to say - upset kids can be really GD frustrating. And to make things more complicated, they don't always want to be doing it either! Even our kids get embarrassed when they get emotional at a moment where they'd rather have held it together. So, how are we...

It's time for some HOT TAKES. This is a collection, in no particular order, of things that have made Matt and Max's family life a little easier and better - without requiring much work. Cause really, who has time to add anything more these days? From the modestly profound, to the profoundly modest, here are eleven sweet, juicy pieces of low-hanging-fruit.  Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Her...

"Tough" is a complicated word. Does it mean hard-edged, unfeeling, and even bullying? Or, are we talking about perseverance, courage, and the strength of character to take risks, weather adversity, and do the right thing? Matt and Max are trying to figure out how to equip their kids with that second batch of traits, without slipping into the first one. And the more we thought about it, t...

The Second half of a two part episode on chores and allowance: Man, oh man - it's hard to think of a much more fraught subject than MONEY. Is it the root of all evil, or the thing that makes the world go round? Maybe a little bit of both? Like it or not, developing a healthy relationship with money and a basic knowledge of how to manage it makes a huge difference in your stress level, sense o...

Doing chores is about more than keeping the house clean. It's one of the first ways kids learn how to pull their weight as part of a team. It's also pretty reasonable to ask for their help, given that they are the kings and queens of absolutely destroying your GD house. And studies show that chores are insanely good for a child's development (and becoming a well adjusted adult - mak...

Holy crap, kids really, really like getting presents... and as parents, we kind of like giving them. But it's an expensive world, and materialism is a real thing, and so are spoiled kids, and this country sure does work hard to get you to buy things you don't need - especially around the holidays. So, how do you strike the balance between the magic of thoughtful gift-giving and the pitfa...

A couple of months back, we had one of our absolute favorite people in the world, Caitlin Murray of Big Time Adulting on Episode 22 of MILKLESS. Right around that time, we actually went on HER podcast too. Well, we're going to play you that episode in full... here... on our show. Here's the Big Time Adulting Podcast's original description of the episode: The dads of the Milkless Pod...

'Tis the season: to load up your kids and go visit the the in-laws... or maybe it's your parents, or a sibling, or maybe they're even coming to you! Given that 'the grandparents' already raised you,  how much should they partake in the child support during an extended family visit? No matter how you slice it, putting multiple nuclear families together under one roof can be...

There aren't a whole lot of things that make Max and Matt lose their cool faster than a hard, "NO" from one of their offspring. Incidentally, those two letters aren't the kids' favorite ones to hear either. So, how do you set necessary limits without ending up in unnecessary power struggles? How do you give your kids a voice in decision making without living your life in a...

Look, Frozen is great! Bluey is unbelievable! Paw Patrol is... an incredibly lucrative business. But by the 11th viewing, they are all the worst thing you've ever seen - and mostly your kid ends up watching them alone while you zone out on your phone. Max and Matt are diving into an alternate take on screen time with your kids - one filled with great films, dope music videos, and sketch comed...

Loud noises, separation anxiety, monsters under the bed, scary movies, and "Holy sh*t, Dad - I'm gonna die someday?!" Max and Matt are venturing into the deep, dark wood that is childhood fears. How do you help your kids navigate scary stuff, when the part of their brain that freaks them out is better developed than the part that calms them down? What's the balance between shel...

There is nothing worse than staring at your own four walls, counting the minutes until bedtime while your children slowly chip away at the last shreds of your sanity. But there's a cure for this affliction! Sometimes you just gotta GTFO o' the house! Is it easy? No! Does it go smoothly every time? Of course not! Is parenting in public occasionally a clusterf*ck? Sure! But taking your kid...

We've got Vani Hari, AKA The Food Babe joining us this week! As a mother, author, cook, and activist, Vani has been able to rally her Food Babe Army of 1.5MM followers to hold massive food companies accountable for their practices. She's even gotten corporations like Kraft and General Mills to actually change some of the ingredients in their products. Holy sh*t! Who does that? With a new...

Raising one kid feels like a lot, and then you have MORE of them and holy sh*t, the struggle is real. It's not just the exponential increase in exhaustion, navigating sibling dynamics is no joke. Older kid displacement. Younger Kid disadvantage. Middle kid... disappearance? How can we help our little hellions work through the complex dynamics of siblinghood, and when should we let them figure...

HOLY SH*T KIDS ARE SO F'ING SLOW! It's just the truth. Our children do NOT move as quickly as we do. They don't hold onto urgency (a butterfly is STILL worth looking at, even when the plane leaves in an hour), and it often feels like the more you push, the harder they pull. Those "Hurry Up!" arguments are the worst, so how do we maintain some modicum of punctuality without...

One of the toughest parts about parenting is that you frequently end up feeling like you’re failing at the thing you care about most. Parental Guilt is f*cking real! It’s a hard job to do well, and an impossible one to do perfectly. And, Man, do the stakes feel high. So how do you take it easy on yourself, while still aiming at a legendary standard? How do you snatch moments of calm, when your kid...

Some people on Instagram have been asking @milklesspodcast about just who Max and Matt actually are. Here's the answer, Raw and Uncut! Childhood, marriage, career - the boys cover the whole enchilada in this candid and informal bonus episode. Buy Violet Archer on Amazon Here Milkless on Instagram Milkless on TikTok LISTEN + WATCH VIOLET ARCHER Follow on Instagram

It's the Season 1 Finale! Not that big a deal, actually, Matt and Max'll be back at it in a few weeks - but it did feel like a good excuse to riff on some of the absolute BEST parts about being a Dad. From laughing your ass off at the dinner table, to having a tiny hype man tell their friends how strong you are - the whole parenting gig comes with some pretty tasty perks. This isn't...

Don't know about you, but Max and Matt both kind of wish somebody had told them that having kids meant signing up for a lifetime of worry. Some of that anxiety is inevitable. As parents, we all have to reconcile the fact that our favorite tiny humans will go out and encounter a world that can be scary and unpredictable. And as mammals, it's our job to protect the offspring, so the Mama/P...