Midlight Crisis

Put that copy of Midnight Sun back on the shelf (or follow in Sam's footsteps and do, um, something else with it) and crack open our next read, because we've finally moved on to a new book! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they find their fantasy names, discuss the hottest new series of 2001, and accidentally find a vampire in a story that is absolutely NOT supposed to have one.

Chapter 26 races into your podcatcher at 69 m/s, bringing with it all the secrets of the mythical, mysterious Twilight vampire! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they review, summarize, and lock in the biological theories of the last 25 chapters to finally and definitively answer the question: But how does a Twilight vampire really work?

Chapter 25 takes a page out of Jasper's book and focuses on feeeeelings! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how their views on the Twilight franchise have changed, play a very fun guessing game, and pitch various ways to make Midnight Sun actually good!

Chapter 24 - the epilogue! - dresses up all fancy to either turn you into a vampire or go to prom. Could be either, really. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they celebrate the end of Midnight Sun, discuss unfortunate vampire hairstyles, and disparage Edward Cullen for one final time.

Chapter 23 crashes through your podcatcher to commit insurance fraud! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss vampire plastic surgery, Bella's apparent heart defect, and Renee's weird brain and choices.

Chapter 22 bites you on the hand and starts turning you into a vampire, oh no! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how much Edward sucks (literally) (like with his mouth), first aid treatments for vampire bites, and how holographic glitter is a complicated mystery.

Chapter 21 steals your car and drives dangerously into your podcatcher! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss grand theft auto, Grand Theft Auto V, and really just an awful lot about cars, actually.

Chapter 20 races straight into your podcatcher in a Jeep Wrangler! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss carnivorous flowers, how fast a vampire goes (but like, definitively this time), and some truly horrifying parasites.

Chapter 19 is here to hurt you in the most specific, heartbreaking way possible. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how to put a shredded vampire back together again, the tenuous connection between Henrietta Lacks and Twilight, and make hilarious vampiric conflations with various non-human social signals. 

Chapter 18 is cloaked in a magical mantle of boredom, but it's all a ruse! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the acoustic characteristics of vampire baseball, tracking (but fantasy style!), and old timey swears.

Chapter 17 hits a home run right into your podcatcher! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss, of course, vampire baseball, an actually plausible theory for the origination of venom in Twilight vampires, and Sophie's interrupting cat.

Chapter 16 is waiting for you in Carlisle's office, welcome, come on in. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss Jasper's mood swings, body-snatching parasites, and how every cryptid is just vampires.

Episode 15 is ready to become your boyfriend and meet your parents! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the Twilight Expanded Universe, Bella's khaki skirt, and the things vampires might have in common with moths, jellyfish, and owls.    

Chapter 14 is strangely flattered by all the attention it's getting from its three stalkers fans this week. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discussion vampire evolution, the official Sam Swoon Scale, and get angry about pandemics, like, more than once.

Chapter 13 shines bright like a diamond (or a vampire) with Twilight's iconic meadow scene. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss what mineral vampire skin is made of, the neuroscience of multitasking, and, to Hannah's delight, how Formula 1 relates to vampires.

Chapter 12 comes with not one, not two, but THREE chapters of Midnight Sun, and it's just kind of a lot. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss proper hiking clothes, vampire showers, and metamorphosis.

Chapter 11 is here to ask you your favourite colour, and your favourite sport, and your favourite book, and -- well, it's a lot. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they struggle to do simple math, discuss what Bella's favourite things say about her, and lament the realization that they're all Edward.

Chapter 10 asks the BIG QUESTIONS, about like vampires and stuff. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they talk about Edward eating pizza, bear hunting (again), and why vampires even need to drink blood in the first place.

Deck your halls, holly your jollies, and buckle up for a departure from our regularly-scheduled Twilight content to bring you [TITLE PENDING], the vampire Christmas rom-com of everyone's dreams! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they pitch their future award-winning holiday romp full of festive tradition, the value of love, and a dead turkey. 

Chapter 9 runs in a straight line straight into your podcast feed. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how fast Edward is compared to other animals, the Persephone myth, and Hannah's inconvenient inability to pronounce the word "midnight."

Chapter 8 takes a wild ride through the wilder city of Port Angeles. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as we discuss how Edward's mind reading works, why vampires growl, and how much we rEALLY LIKE THESE BOOKS.

Chapter 7 appears from the woods in kind of a lackluster fashion, honestly. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss Bella's literary preferences, the various flavours of animal blood, and vampire mythos from around the world.

Chapter 6 diverges into two separate scenes (imagine that) as Bella goes to the beach and Edward goes hunting. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss fishes that look like eels but aren't, vampire hobbies, and the introduction of Jacob.

Chapter 5 oozes into its budding romance like blood from a pricked finger and also like this metaphor oozing away from me. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they talk about relationship dynamics, Sam's swoon scale, and the effects of vampirism on the environment.

Chapter 4 is much less totally cool than we thought it would be, as Edward faceplants hard into creeper status. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss vampire SCUBA diving, Edward's collection of red flags, and how difficult it can be to talk to humans.