Midlight Crisis

Chapter 98 is sneaking into your all-ages club to incite the fall of humankind! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss dimension-hopping viruses, the benefits and drawbacks of pharyngeal jaws, and reveal just how encyclopedic Sam's knowledge of this book is.

Grab your instruments, because Chapter 97 is mortal! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they prepare to speedrun like, so many fantastical creatures, reveal Sam's high school Shadowhunters clout, discuss the benefits of medium stakes, and enter... the City of Bones!

Chapter 96 is an unexpected unexpected part two, because we biologized the hell out of this book! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they continue to have a surprising number of opinions about birdkids and Erasers. Tune in for answers to the questions you never knew you wanted to ask, like: If the birdkids are 2% bird, who (or what?) is 2% human? Which birdkid has a superpower that is never mentioned...

Is it a bird? Is it a kid? Is it another gosh damn hexapod? No, it’s Chapter 95! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they finally, DEFINITIVELY reveal just how the Maximum Ride is made, if birdkids really DO fly in the fetal position, and, most importantly: how did we manage to talk about this dingdang book for so long that we had to make it a duology… in Chapter 95: Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment...

Chapter 94 is the wrap-up episode, and the Voice in your head… or is it?! I guess we’ll never know… OR WILL WE?! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah in a retrospective of Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment as they share final thoughts and feelings, spoil the absolutely unhinged trajectory of the rest of the series, and reveal egg canon from an unexpected place.

Chapter 93 flies off around sixish, to Washington, DC, of course! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the Gasman's government name, illegal science numerology, and the importance of bringing any injured birdkids you find in your backyard to a licensed wildlife rehabilitator.

Chapter 92 is slipping and sliding its way into your podcatcher. If only there was some carpet... for traction... Anyway, join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss if your dog should be an Eraser, contemplate sturddlefish mistakes, and do NOT give you first aid advice

Chapter 91 is rubbing its sewer feet aaaaall over your lab carpeting! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss first-class lab equipment (unspecified), desperately try not to disparage their employers and/or academic institutions, and once again get stuck trying to make funny content about children being locked in cages for bad science.

Chapter 90 is Dissociating! In the Sewer. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss what language rats speak, how to do sea anemone enrichment, and Seventies Sex Cabin carpeting (tm).

Chapter 89 is here to remind you that you probably haven't fed your Neopet in 20 years, you should probably get on that. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they confidently and incorrectly discuss the timelines of technology development, besmirch the Erasers' strategy, and ask the age-old question: Are there vampires in the Old Testament?

Chapter 88 hopes this email finds you well and hopes to circle back to identify opportunities for synergies. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss various permutations of body hair, the evilness of an average six-year-old, and increasingly improbable methods of breathing underwater.

Chapter 87 is the beach episode! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss epic 2005 makeovers, the Millennial urge to become a marine biologist, and the potentially fraught physiology of SCUBA diving with hollow bones.

Chapter 86 keeps showing up, like a bad penny! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how many ways you can fold a birdkid, Eraser statistical models, and just, like, a lot of physics that they don't really understand.

Today's episode isn't just a chapter, it's a whole dang synopsis! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they indulgently reminisce about 2023 (books), gush about this cool new author that you probably haven't heard of (Brandon Sanderson), and shockingly reveal who has a book problem (everyone).

Chapter 85 is Oops! All tangents! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss rich people's librarians, hangry hunter-gatherers, and regrettably, James Patterson's '69 (again).

Chapter 84 is gonna take you to church! Actually, it's a cathedral. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss sanctuary laws, failed adaptations, and the James Patterson '69.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Midlight Crisis gave to me: Twelve dancing birdkids; Eleven movie titles; Ten concept changes; Nine fired night guards; Eight visual bird gags; Seven evil patents; Six himbo moments; FIVE HOT CRISEEEEES; Four heist montages; Three story tropes; Two percent bird genes; AND A CASSOWARY IN A PEAR TREEEEEE

Chapter 83 is screaming bloody murder and so is the audio quality for some reason. Sorry about that, I don't know what happened. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss their own fourteen-year-old destinies (magical world-saving love triangles), bikes and Mikes, and the worst possible ways to make your human-dog hybrid not get hurt.          

Chapter 82 comes to you straight from the, uh, pointer of the ouija doohickey. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they, respectively, discuss the complex history of beanie babies, the surprising origin of the ouija board, and doing toy crimes.

Chapter 81 is none of your beeswax, dipstick! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss Max's evolving brain disease, the very cool technology of the early 2000s, and if h-e-double-hockey-sticks is a swear.

Chapter 80 is our Roman Empire (Taylor's version). Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss surfing the 'net (for kids and families!), Sophie's cat's inner potential, and secret subway cities.

Don’t worry, you’ll like Chapter 79 because it’s full of weirdos! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the immersion-breaking appeal of New York delis, time-travelling Russian communist fashion, and indulge in their annually mandated zoo spiel.

Chapter 78 is all about breakfast. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they finally find the most divisive topic they've ever discussed: lasagna.

Chapter 77 is full of so much good biology, finally! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss campfire snacks, some absolutely wild real life genetic experiments, and get super into the weeds (or into the womb??) about amniocentesis. 

Chapter 76 started off with a fish, how did it end up like this?? Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss which Olympic sport is most like throwing a four-year-old, monarch butterfly migration, and why Max should stop scuba diving between chapters.