Midlife with Brooke

This week is a little different. I’m sharing an interview I did with Heather Rackham on the Latter-Day Life Coaches podcast, all about building stronger relationships with our adult children. While preparing for BYU Women’s Conference, I held focus groups with young adults in their twenties and thirties. I asked them what makes their relationships with their parents hard. What they told me surpris...

When someone we love does something that frustrates or hurts us, it's easy to jump to the worst meaning. Why would they say that? Why don't they appreciate me? Why do they feel that way about the church? In this episode, Brooke shares a simple phrase that has helped her and her clients trade judgment for compassion: "I've felt like that before." She walks through real examples, from a mom whose li...

Back in high school, Brooke tried out for the drill team and never once practiced the toe touch at the end of the routine. That moment became a lesson she's carried for years: so often we say "I'll do that later" about the things we value most, and life slips by while we wait. In this short pep talk, Brooke shares stories of women who stopped putting things off and started practicing, and invites...

Show Notes When our kids are little, we carry everything. Their jackets, their snacks, their backpacks. We even let them wipe wet hands on our pants. But as they grow, our part gets smaller, and that's exactly how it should be. In this episode, Brooke explores one simple question that can take the drama out of so many relationships: "What is my part?" Often we fall into one of two camps. We blame...

What if you only need to gather enough for today? After attending the Restore Conference with my friend Kristen Rutter, I've been thinking about manna. In Exodus 16, the Lord provided bread from heaven for the Israelites, one day at a time. In this episode, I share what the rules of manna can teach us about inspiration, rest, and moving forward without knowing the outcome. I also share client stor...

What if fear only exists in the future? When the thing we're afraid of actually shows up, it stops being a fear and becomes a problem to be solved. And you've solved every problem that has come your way so far. In this episode, Brooke shares why our primitive brain keeps offering us "what ifs," and how our adult brain can step in, calm things down, and remind us that we'll figure it out. She walks...

Today I'm talking about a topic I bring up with clients all the time: scarcity versus abundance. We live in a world that tells us there's not enough, not enough time, money, love, recognition. But I've found abundance everywhere I look, in a peach tree that keeps producing every year, in free YouTube tutorials, in the way my heart kept growing with each new baby. I share three practices that have...

In the episode, Lenee Fuelling shares the definition of ambiguous loss and many examples of how it shows up in our lives. She lays out her framework for holding ambiguous loss. Notice and name it — Recognize that what you're feeling is a real, legitimate loss, and normalize it. Ambiguous losses are often hidden or unrecognized, even to ourselves, so just naming them brings them "into the light and...

This week Brooke steps away from teaching to just tell you about her week. A flashing school zone light that shouldn't have been on. A lost boy on the side of the road. A laugh-filled walk with a friend. A pickleball loss that still felt like a win. A chance conversation with a church service missionary. None of it dramatic, but Brooke makes the case that this is exactly where God shows up, if we'...

Today I'm talking with Camden Hainsworth, a certified ADHD coach who was diagnosed herself at 36, has children with ADHD, and has spent the last several years helping people understand and work with their ADHD brains instead of fighting them. We talk about what ADHD actually is (it's a difference, not a deficiency), why the nervous system of someone with ADHD can feel like a wobbly skateboard head...

Five things I've learned working in the Utah State Prison: People are good. Treating people with respect, even when their problems seem small compared to what they're facing, opens the door to real connection. We are not our worst mistake. That mistake is part of our story, but it doesn't have to define who we are. Extending grace to others helps us move toward our own healing. The inmates who let...

The Mother-in-Law Series: When It's Hard This is the last episode in my five part series on being a mother-in-law. If you've listened to the other four and felt a wince here or there, this one is for you. Even if things have been hard for a long time, it isn't too late to change. We can't change our daughter-in-law or son-in-law. The only thing we can really work on is ourselves. Here are five pla...

The Mother-in-Law Series: New Traditions Welcome to week four of the Mother-in-Law Series. If you haven't caught the earlier episodes, go back and start with weddings. And if you're new here, one of the women I interviewed said something I keep coming back to: joining a family is like moving to another country. You don't know the customs, the language, or the traditions. So we get to decide, will...

The Mother-in-Law Series: Service That Actually Helps Midlife with Brooke, Episode 3 of 5 We are back for week three of the mother-in-law series. We started with weddings, then talked about being the fun aunt instead of another mother. This week is all about service, the kind that actually helps and the kind that (even with the best intentions) can create distance instead of connection. As I was p...

This is week two of a five part series on our relationship with our daughters-in-law. Last week we talked about weddings. If you missed it, you can go back and listen to that one too! This week is about a shift in how we think about our role. One of my daughters told me an idea that really resonated with me. She said a daughter-in-law isn't looking for another mother. She already has one. What she...

Welcome to the first episode of my Mother-in-Law Series. In preparation, I interviewed women in their mid 20s to early 30s about their mothers-in-law, and one of them said something profound: joining a new family is like moving to another country. You don't know the customs or the language. So we (as the mothers-in-law) get to decide, will I be a friendly local or border control? In this 5 episode...

Two inmates. The same caseworker. One thinks she's amazing; the other thinks she shouldn't even have a job. So which is it? In this episode, I share stories from my coaching classes at the Utah State Prison that perfectly illustrate one of the most foundational principles in coaching: our thoughts — not our circumstances — create our feelings. The same sentencing, the same caseworker, the same cam...

Consider What You're Considering: A Lesson from King Mosiah When King Mosiah's people wanted a new king, he gave them counsel that applies to every decision we make in our families today: "I desire that ye should consider the cause which ye are called to consider" (Mosiah 29:5). In other words — consider what you're considering. In this episode, I share how a family home evening lesson from my dad...

What makes Gen Z tick — and why does it feel so hard to connect with them? In this episode, Brooke sits down with Maggon Osmond, owner of Kindness Matters Education, who has spent 20 years working with teens and young adults. Maggon brings a warm, practical perspective to one of the most common struggles her clients face: understanding the generation they're raising. Maggon works with businesses t...

Have you ever put off cleaning your bathrooms because you didn't have time for a deep clean? Or held back a creative project because it wasn't quite ready? Or avoided a hard conversation because the timing wasn't perfect? That's perfectionism in disguise and it's keeping you stuck. In this episode, Brooke introduces one of her favorite concepts: B-minus work. A B-minus is a passing grade, and it t...

When Helping Isn't Helping Brooke Oniki Life Coaching Podcast My husband was making cookies. He's done it dozens of times. And I still couldn't keep my mouth shut about the butter. That moment introduced me — again — to a concept from leadership researcher Liz Wiseman: the difference between multipliers and diminishers. Wiseman was studying corporations. But she was describing our families. In thi...

We live in a world designed for comfort — same-day delivery, instant answers, and climate-controlled rooms. But what happens when that instinct for ease bleeds into our most important relationships? In this episode, Brooke explores what it means to expand your zone of relational discomfort and why staying in the hard moments might be the most loving thing you can do. Drawing on a yoga metaphor tha...

What does it look like to love someone when their path unfolds differently than you expected? In this heartfelt conversation, Brooke sits down with Sandra Rhees and her son Jeremy to talk about their family's experience navigating faith, family relationships, and Jeremy's journey as a gay, active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Jeremy shares his experience of recognizing...

Family reunions. Holidays. Summer trips. Long weekends with adult children, in-laws, and extended family. Sometimes they’re full of connection and joy. Sometimes they come with stress, hurt feelings, unmet expectations, or that one conversation that catches you off guard. In today’s episode, I’m sharing three simple tools to help you show up differently at family gatherings this summer. Instead of...

Today we’re talking about a fascinating concept: our brains resist state changes. When we’re sitting, we don’t want to stand. When we’re home, we don’t want to leave. When we finally start cleaning, we suddenly don’t want to stop. This isn’t because you’re lazy or unmotivated. Our brains love familiarity, efficiency, and conserving energy. In this episode we discuss: • Why transitions feel hard •...