Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

To become a better parent, I need to become a better person ~ Mike and Alicia One of the subjects we are most often asked about is discipline.  We know how hard it is to form the will, heart and mind of a child!  Though every child is different and every parent is different, there are some principles that we can give you to help you make a discipline plan that works for you and your spouse.  In th...

"When we're able to put most of our energy into developing our natural talents, extraordinary room for growth exists. So, a revision to the "You-can-be-anything-you-want-to-be" maxim might be more accurate: You cannot be anything you want to be—but you can be a lot more of who you already are." ― Tom Rath, Strengths Finder Very often parents focus on improving the weaknesses in their children, but...

"You know that feeling you get after a good night's sleep? Yea, me neither." - Every Parent Ever If you feel like you are living in a state of almost constant exhaustion, you are not alone.  It's not just the sleepless nights and crazy days - that's a reality that parents have always had to deal with.  We believe parents are more exhausted today because  there are certain elements of our culture t...

 "Men do not fear a powerful hostile army as the powers of hell fear the name and protection of Mary." -St. Bonaventure One of the questions we ask parents as an icebreaker for our in-person events is "How many of your childrren have used rosaries as weapons?" This is a common experience of families with young children as parents try to pray.  We get it.  For a long time, we found it hard to encou...

"Before we began the adoption process, before we could be the parents our children needed us to be, I had to grieve those losses.  I had to offer my broken dreams to Jesus, and trust He would not permit me to carry the cross of infertility unless He could bring something beautiful out of it." - Emily Stimpson Chapman This interview with Emily and Chris Chapman is an amazing conversation about some...

"How can there be too many children? That's like saying there are too many flowers." - St. Theresa of Calcutta There is great confusion in our world, even among good Catholics, about the purpose of marriage and even the purpose of having children. Catholics do not "discern having another child".  Instead, our default is that we are always open to new life in our families, but in grave circumstance...

"Its better to be wrong together than right alone" - Mike and Alicia   There are many things that spouses need to navigate in life - finances, educational choices, work issues, in-laws - and for all of these issues there is an "X factor" that makes all the difference - UNITY.  Without unity, even the most perfect of scenarios will not bring peace, but with unity there is nothing that life throws a...

"Dream big, plan simple, act now." - Mike and Alicia Hernon Dreaming is an integral part of living a life to the fullest.  But dreams that take us away from our vocation are fantasies and actually detract from living an abundant life.  What is the difference and why is it important? Dreaming in the best sense is an essential skill to have. Not everyone is a natural dreamer, but we can all learn to...

"Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting." - Brene Brown The emotions of young people can be overwhelming to us, but we have to realize that they are overwhelming to them as well!  How can parents help children to regulate their emotions in a healthy way?  Not every emotion needs discipline, sometimes ki...

Children are really the supreme gift of marriage and contribute in the highest degree to their parents' welfare. - Gaudium et Spes, 50 Listener questions are back!  We had a wonderful time visiting with listeners all over the East Coast and as we traveled we collected questions from them.  Here are a few of those questions including how to emotionally handle the mess and chaos that inevitably come...

When we look at the lives of those who have faithfully followed Christ, we are inspired with a new reason for seeking the City that is to come and at the same time we are shown a most safe path by which… we will be able to arrive at perfect union with Christ, that is, perfect holiness. - Lumen Gentium, 50 One of our great gifts as Catholics is the "older brothers and sisters" that God has given us...

Since parents have given children their life, they are bound by the most solemn obligation to educate their offspring and therefore must be recognized as the primary and principal educators. This role in education is so important that only with difficulty can it be supplied where it is lacking. ~ Pope Paul VI, Declaration of Christian Education   Educating children is one of the most important and...

Children have not been given to parents as a present, but as a trust for which, if lost through their negligence, they must render an account to God. ~ St. Alphonsus Ligouri   Raising teens is an art, not a science.  It takes finesse, subtleties, and nuances to get it right. Children are pushing back and trying to become independent adults while they are still not yet ready for the responsibilitie...

Each day be conscious of your duty to be a saint. — A saint! And that doesn't mean doing strange things. It means a daily struggle in the interior life and in heroically fulfilling your duty right through to the end. ~ St. Jose Maria Escriva   One of the things we teach couples all the time is that marriage and family life is your path to holiness.  So the celebration of Lent and Easter should loo...

"When she's in your company, your daughter tries harder to excel. When you teach her, she learns more rapidly. When you guide her, she gains confidence. If you fully understood just how profoundly you can influence your daughter's life, you would beoverwhelmed, or both." ― Dr. Meg Meeker All girls have a certain pattern of physical development that will change them into women, but these changes ne...

Manhood isn't something that simply happens to boys as they get older. It's an achievement – something a boy accomplishes, something that can easily go awry. If we ignore the importance of this transition, and fail in our duty as parents to guide boys through it, then we will learn the hard way why traditional cultures invest this transition with so much importance. - Dr Leonard Sax In today's wor...

"Creating informal rituals when you can connect emotionally is critical in a marriage" ~ John M. Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work   Dating your spouse consistently is the easiest thing you can do to keep your love alive - and its fun too!  We have been challenged recently to spend more time with each other and just have fun.  Because our work puts us in each other's orbit all...

"Anger isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it can be." For some reason, dealing with sons and daughters can bring out anger in a person who has been mild mannered and easy going their whole life!  Why is that?  What we have noticed is that children do not create our weaknesses, they reveal them. It is good to understand why we react so strongly to certain situations in order to grow in virtue.  In...

"The sacrifices our parents made to give us brothers and sisters is one of the greatest things they have done for us." - Mike and Alicia Hernon We usually talk about family life from the perspective of parents.  But for this podcast, we are going to take some time to talk about what it was like growing up in a family of 6 for Mike and a family of 10 for Alicia.  We didn't realize it as kids, but o...

The holidays are a perfect time for families to have game nights or even game days!  Games teach children invaluable lessons about strategy, logic, and skill but also about how to get along with others, what consequences mean, and how to be a good loser and a gracious winner.  Taking time to invest in games for kids is a great activity for parents and you may actually have fun too!  See our list o...

If curiosity is a trait that can lead to the development of healthier, deeper, and more intimate relationships, then it could be another vital feature of the life of the child. - Maggie Hernon Did this title cause you to look?  Do you wonder what it is about?  Is it causing you to click to listen?  That is because you are curious and that is a good thing! Curiosity is something we should all be en...

"When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things—not the great occasions—give off the greatest glow of happiness." - Bob Hope The holidays are an important "memory making time" for children because these are the years in which their impressions are sometimes bigger than life, bigger than reality!  Parents need to be very intentional about the messages that they are sending...

"Money touches every aspect of our lives and colors our interactions with others. If we don't get our relationship with money right, our relationships with others hardly stand a chance." ~ Jonathan and Amanda Teixeira Boy do we have a treat for you!  One area in which we have always been hesitant to talk about is family finances.  But we figured, when you know what you are not good at, you outsour...

Join us for a conversation that was inspired by our listeners' needs! Our daughter Katie (with a guest appearance by baby Catalina!) joins us as a host to ask questions that have been sent to us by various families over the past few months.   In this episode we first talk about the time between dinner and bedtime, which we affectionately call the "witching hour".  For some reason, it's always a di...

"Ultimately, only bountiful marriages can transform our domestic churches into sanctuaries for this liturgy of love; and it is this liturgy by which we sanctify our daily lives and the world" ~ Living Beyond Sunday We have been blessed to work with many great ministries serving marriage and family and The Catholic Man Show is one of them!  David Niles and Adam Minihan, along with their wives Pamel...