Messy Can't Stop Her

Send JKO a Text Message Sonia continues part three of her story by showing us that sometimes your best laid plans can still get you in trouble. She also delves a little into her personal experience of the added layer for the struggling Black child. She then shares practical self care tips that one can practice with little or no money and even when experiencing the impact of domestic violence.  Son...

Send JKO a Text Message From a full time job to odd jobs, Sonia had to choose because helping her struggling son without the help of their father became her full time endeavour. Faced with the formidable duo of mental health and substance use challenges, Sonia shares how her sacrifice paid off. As Meryl Streep said, motherhood reduces everything to essentials .  References in this episode Mother t...

Send JKO a Text Message Separation is not the end-all and be-all when it comes to domestic violence because in many cases, the impact of the abuse comes along on your journey to freedom. When children are involved, the impact can unfold very slowly with mega chaos erupting just when you think the storm is over.  In this three-part story, Sonia shares her experience as a mother navigating the menta...

Send JKO a Text Message Can a parent decide to harm their child and their future deliberately? Many of Us will say “No” but what if by what you are doing or allowing others do to you, you are harming your child? JKO answers three questions about attachment disorders that give us additional information about their impact on our children and hope that treatment can help them live a happy and healthy...

Send JKO a Text Message Whether a medical doctor, army veteran or a stay-at-home mom, domestic violence has no status limitation. Whether emotionally abused, heartbroken, traumatized or gaslighted, your life can still be a beautiful story. DrAhne, continues her story of finding purpose from the pain of a marriage tainted with alcoholism and narcissism. If you’re living in pain and asking “why me?”...

Send JKO a Text Message We hear the question “Why didn’t she leave?” so many times when discussing domestic violence.  Dr. Anne Burnley (DrAhne), physician and US Army combat veteran left. She tells us how she was able to overcome the fears and doubts and take that step. In this first part of her story, DrAhne shares how love empowered her to leave a marriage that had literally taken her voice and...

Send JKO a Text Message I am tired but I had to show up. I am tired from the lingering effects of domestic violence. I am tired from the pain. Am reaching out to ask for your prayers. I also share about an amazing opportunity to learn all about podcasting and the opportunity to make your dreams come true. References in this episode The John Collective’s Podcast Creator Course John Chao’s Perspecti...

Send JKO a Text Message Trigger Warning: SI, mention of su*c*de Have you ever felt unworthy about stepping up to share? Have you ever been made to feel unworthy by others? You are not alone. It may be the harsh reality of the life that we live but it can also be a battle that we win if we push through those thoughts. Indeed, it is a mental health battle. JKO takes a step back in this episode to sh...

Send JKO a Text Message 99% of domestic violence cases involve financial abuse and this invisiblized part of domestic violence can last years, decades or even a lifetime. Tracey (Pseudonym), a domestic violence survivor shares her experience of acute intended poverty and litigation battery and how she came out of the deep hole of debt which she had been manipulated into. Despite her academic and p...

Send JKO a Text Message If you knew something would harm your child, will you do it? What if it was your spousal relationship? Last week Jessica Faught talked about the steep price she had to pay to rebuild her relationship with her daughter; their relationship had been strained by attachment disorder. Today, Osa Samuel Olagunju, licensed counsellor and psychotherapist unveils how domestic violenc...

Send JKO a Text Message Abducted as a teen from Canada to the United States by a father figure and kept in domestic violence captivity for 15 years, Jessica Faught escaped but the impact of that trauma on herself and her children followed her back to Windsor, Ontario. Jessica shares her journey back to healing and her sacrificial collaboration with the child welfare system to give her daughter a n...

Send JKO a Text Message Death is final. Nicole’s story explains why more focus is placed on physical abuse than other types of abuse. The courts ruled that her death was not premeditated, and they are now set to release her murderer on parole. Andrea Henning tells us how the events that tragically ended her sister Nicole’s life, that September 26th day, still traumatizes every member of her family...

Send JKO a Text Message 95% of men who physically abuse their intimate partners, first abuse them emotionally. Though emotional abuse is the most common abuse, it is the least believed by the police and others and it is the least addressed. JKO discusses the signs, it’s physical and mental health impact on victims and how a victim can support herself in the situation. You could save a life. Please...

Send JKO a Text Message This bonus episode discusses one of the most common outcomes of domestic violence - BITTERNESS and its stronger mate, RESENTMENT - and gives a few some insight on how it impacts a person psychologically. It also suggests some ways we can avoid the harm it causes by advanced forgiveness and choosing your response. If you would like to share your thoughts on this episode, or...

Send JKO a Text Message JKO activates the phrase – Prevention is better than cure – in a series discussing domestic violence, the signs and its impact. This introductory episode highlights the importance of preventing those at risk from getting trapped in the cycle of abuse. By sharing the series with at least one person per episode in our tiny little corner of the world, we can each prevent and c...

Send JKO a Text Message On April 8, a Nigerian gospel singer died from the effects of domestic violence and it begs the same old, same old question “Why didn’t she leave?” With stories, videos and Bible verses, JKO discusses the impact of domestic violence and reminds us as individuals, work supervisors and most especially the Church, that we play a role in getting her to leave before she’s killed...

Send JKO a Text Message The loss of a child can turn a marriage and family on its head and scatter their well arranged lives. For Jessica Janzen and her beau, Hot Ronnie, the choice to bring the joy out of the pain of losing their six month old son, Lewiston, has turned grief on its head. Jessica shares how her choice to be resilient and vulnerable has opened the door to a life of abundance where...

Send JKO a Text Message I wonder how many of us lose our person and feel we have nothing to offer the world just because we fell in love... Debbie Di Verde tells us how creativity, community and the Church helped her recover from the toxic effects of a relationship that led to the loss of her children and almost the loss of her life’s value. Debbie has starred in various stage productions includin...

Send JKO a Text Message Social Media is one of those spaces where vulnerability can be a challenge. Some of us are quick to share our vacation pictures and start a discussion about them on Facebook but find it very hard to share our struggles or even our new business. We do our best to carefully curate our persona so that we fit in. And because we are not a celebrity sharing their diagnosis or los...

Send JKO a Text Message “You always have to make it all about you.” She had heard it once too many and this time, instead of allowing it to break her down, she leveraged that trigger and squared her shoulders to start the #selflove merchandise line. In this episode of Messy Can’t Stop Her, Tiphany Kane, the Heck Yes! coach is no stranger to challenging life circumstances but her ability to turn ev...

Send JKO a Text Message In this Women's History Month, I identify a stumbling block that stops many of us from stepping up to share our goodness with the world. Using lessons from the Japanese art form of Kintsugi, I encourage my sisters to recognize the beauty that lies within our imperfections.   This episode reminds us that whether positive or negative, we have to agree with our critics an...

Send JKO a Text Message Sexually molested at the age of five, Shwanda Ifeoma Onwuachi battled the effects of that trauma till adulthood by hating men and doing everything to make sure she never had to rely on them. Then, she had an encounter that changed her life. In this episode, Shwanda shares how despite the failings of men and women in her life, she learnt to love in words and deeds by self-lo...

Send JKO a Text Message Pat Backley is a living example of the saying “Age is a matter of the mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter”. At 70, Pat began her dream career and is now enjoying a fabulous life. Pandemic boredom unlocked her creativity and she wrote her first novel within three weeks in the 2020 lockdown. This unleashed the deluge of stories hidden in her life experiences. Four book...

Send JKO a Text Message It’s Black History Month and on this episode, I will be sharing a bit of my experience as a Black person living in Canada. I talk about some of the challenges I’ve had and also the role of allies in stemming the tide of anti-Black racism that seems to be entrenched in our systems and interactions. I’ve faced walls of silence and awkward questions, but I’ve also encountered...

Send JKO a Text Message The behaviour of a senior colleague at work was meant to mess her up, ended up propelling her onto a career path doing what she loves. On this episode of Messy Can’t Stop Her, Neema Black, founder of the 90 Days to Wellness Healthy Eating Plan and host of the Harmonious Living podcast tells us how the challenges of life pivoted her into purpose. Neema helps her clients inte...