Menopause, Meltdowns & Magic - Two AuDHD, midlife mums. Two countries. Too many tabs open.

Content note: This episode includes a brief, non-detailed mention of disordered eating, including in our children. Please be gentle with yourself and pause the episode if you need to. What we explore Looking back at childhood Why so many female assigned at birth people weremissed, and how our early years were read through male-centred stereotypes How protective layers may hold these traits inplace...

Many of us have felt it lately. Just as lived experience,community and neuro-affirming practice seemed to be gaining ground, the conversation in the media, in policy and across neurodivergent spaces appears to be swinging back toward talk of overdiagnosis, deficit and clinical pathwaysas the only ones that count. In this conversation, Tanya and Emma share what they arenoticing and how it lands for...

What if needing space does not mean you love people any less? In this episode, Tanya and Emma sit down with Alice Bramhill, a registered mental health nurse, interpersonal psychotherapist and neurodivergent coach, to talk about relationships, retreat and the quiet courage of knowing yourself. Alice’s first book had only just been released, and it opened a conversation that wandered through grief,...

Some children cannot learn at school, and some parents are left holding that truth while everyone around them has an opinion about it. In this conversation, Tanya and Emma sit down with Melissa Crockett-Joyoue, a Māori, late-diagnosed AuDHD mama of two unschooled neurodivergent children. Melissa is also the co-founder of the Unschooling Summit and the founder of Weave ND, an online membership comm...

Tanya and Emma sit down for an honest, unscripted conversation about what happens to a marriage or partnership when one or both parents are neurodivergent, and when a child moves into burnout. They talk about co-regulation, the invisible load carried by the primary caregiver, the grief of an imagined future that never arrived, and why so many parents feel trapped between their own safety and their...

Most of us grew up believing that a good relationship never has disagreements, conflict, or angry words. In this episode, Tanya and Emma sit with the opposite idea: that rupture is inevitable, and the real skill we were never taught is repair. Together they trace how their families of origin handled conflict (mostly by not handling it at all), why saying sorry to your own children can feel like br...

This week Tanya sits down with Emma for a wandering,honest conversation about the gap between understanding something and actually feeling it. They talk about why knowing the “why” behind a meltdown, a trigger, or a parenting mistake doesn’t stop it from hurting, and how intellectualising can quietly become another way of bypassing our own nervous systems. From attachment wounds and trauma respons...

In this episode, Tanya sits down with Emma for a conversation that goes right to the heart of a question so many parents in this community carry quietly: "Is it trauma, or is it neurodivergence?" Together they trace how the two get woven into each other from childhood, why masking costs so much more than it looks like from the outside, and what it means to try toparent differently while...

Why do some people seem able to let things go while others feel deeply affected by unfairness, injustice, or double standards? In this episode of Meltdowns, Menopause and Magic , Tanya and Emma explore the powerful relationship between neurodivergence, fairness, social justice, and nervous system activation. Together, they unpack why many Autistic and PDA individuals experience injustice not simpl...

In this episode of Menopause, Meltdowns and Magic , Tanya and Emma explore a complicated topic for many neurodivergent families: What happens when the “support” being offered actually causes more harm? Together, they unpack the long middle of burnout recovery, that messy, uncertain stage where things may appear to be improving on the surface, while nervous systems are still overwhelmed underneath....

In this deeply honest episode of Menopause, Meltdowns and Magic, Tanya and Emma explore the invisible pressure many parents carry to keep pushing through, even when their nervous systems, relationships, and families are asking for something gentler. Together, they unpack the cultural conditioning around productivity, perfectionism, people pleasing, and “good parenting,” and how these pressures can...

Friendship can feel complicated, especially for neurodivergent women navigating masking, burnout, grief, and identity shifts. In this deeply honest conversation, we explore how our experiences of friendship have been shaped over time—from early moments of exclusion and heartbreak, to high-masking personas, to the quiet unravelling that often comes with burnout, sobriety, or late diagnosis. We talk...

In this heartfelt and deeply human conversation, we are joined by comedian and content creator Chris McAllister, The Trans Comedian, who shares his journey of gender exploration, identity, and finding joy through humour. Together, we explore what it means to support trans and gender diverse children in a world that can feel both affirming and challenging. This episode gently weaves together lived...

In this honest and layered conversation, we explore the often-unquestioned world of self-help, personal development, and “growth” culture, and gently ask: What happens when the very tools meant to help us… actually harm us? Drawing from our own lived experiences as coaches, parents, and neurodivergent women, we unpack the complexity of healing spaces that can feel both transformative and unsafe at...

In this episode, Tanya and Emma gently unpack a recent and controversial article by Uta Frith, which has stirred deep conversation within the neurodivergent community. Together, we explore what happens when lived experience is questioned… When progress feels like it’s being pushed backwards… And when already-marginalised voices—especially late-diagnosed women—are dismissed once again. This is not...

In this episode, Tanya Valentin and Emma Gilmour explore the conversation currently unfolding in the wellness and neuroscience communities around polyvagal theory and recent critiques of the model. Polyvagal theory, originally proposed by Stephen Porges, has become a widely used framework in therapy, coaching, and neurodivergent spaces for understanding how the nervous system responds to safety an...

In this very first episode of Meltdowns, Menopause and Magic , Tanya and Emma sit down with author, coach and long-time entrepreneur Lisa Corduff for a deeply honest conversation about midlife, neurodivergence, grief, identity, and the pressure to live life “the right way.” Emma shares the story of how joining one of Lisa's programs years ago helped Emma shift from shame and perfectionism into...

Welcome to Menopause, Meltdowns and Magic . In this first episode, Emma Gilmour and Tanya Valentin introduce themselves and share what this podcast is really about — the conversations we’re having, the stories we’re telling, and what you can expect from this space. If you are a midlife mother raising a neurodivergent child, there’s a strong chance you’ll feel right at home here. You’re so welcome.