Memoir Snob

Here’s what I learned from In The Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado: I can write a cohesive story that is made up of little stories, all strung together with a unifying theme.  When writing about moments of inebriation or vulnerability, it’s funny to include present-tense comments of your thoughts at the time, like a question you thought, or something ridiculous that would not make sense if you...

Here's what I learned from A Life's Work by Rachel Cusk: -Sometimes your experience of something is enough, sometimes it’s all there is. You don’t have to share wisdom or lessons; you could just tell people what happened, and there's value in that. -When you include disclaimers you water down the thing you were trying to say. It takes away from the truth and makes you unrelatable. -Wri...

Here’s what I learned from The Liars’ Club by Mary Karr: If I want to tell stories from my past that involve family members, I can ask them how they remember the same story and include their perspective by saying things like, “If I gave my big sister a paragraph here, she would correct my memory. To this day, she claims…” or “Lecia says that…” or “My sister says this never happened.”  I can tell m...

Here’s what I learned from Cheryl Strayed : “The hardest part about memoir is the unfortunate fact that other people exist.” Every time she writes about anyone other than herself she asks herself a series of questions— Will this hurt our relationship?  Will this unfairly invade someone's privacy?  Will I be able to tell this story in such a way that is both deeply rooted in my truth and also a...

Here's what I learned from What Remains by Carole Radziwill: -The best prologue I’ve read so far because of her journalistic style of writing.  -Structure is so important. It should be seamless, unnoticeable; surprising but not confusing. Never linear.  -Rather than attempt to describe visceral moments from my life where I’ve “cried so hard,” I can skip them altogether.   -Facts are more shock...

Memoir deep dive #8 Here’s what I learned from The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls: -When you leave out thoughts and feelings it evokes big emotions from the reader. -Action and dialogue drive a story—not thoughts and feelings. -If you want to drop a bomb, bury it. Make it subtle, within a sentence. Say it and move on.  -A long list can evoke big emotions. -Include moments of resolution, when some...

Memoir deep dive #7 Here's what I learned from Born Standing Up by Steve Martin: -Breaking the 4th wall is when the writer addresses the reader directly. It's intimate, it's funny, and a lot of comedic writers do it. It's a fun way to make the reader feel like they're a part of the story. -The best way to be sarcastic in writing is to be subtle about it. -Our fantasies are hila...

Memoir deep dive #6 Here's what I learned from Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle: -Her book structure was as follows: Prelude (her wedding day) Part 1 :The Before Image (childhood to rock bottom, to pregnant, to marrying Craig) Part 2: The Explosion (being sober and married and a mom is hard, writing is the light in her life, and then the bomb is dropped—Craig confesses that he's cheated on he...

Memoir deep dive #5 Here's what I learned from The Tender Bar by J.R. Moehringer: - Repetition can have a lyrical effect, which makes your writing read almost like a poem. It's also a fun tool when writing as a drunk person, because drunk people repeat themselves. - Analogies are a descriptive way to be more specific and visual, and avoid cliches. You don't need to force analogies. Try...

Here's what I learned from Finding Me by Viola Davis: - Never write: "Words can't describe..." because that's what writing is. It's describing things. - Show don't tell. Show the reader something is important with your words, not punctuation marks. - If you have an amazing story to tell but you're not a very good writer, consider hiring a ghost writer. Here's...

Here's what I learned from Crying In H Mart: -Food is a very visual theme she uses throughout the book. What's a visual theme I could use in my book? -Specific, observational details are interesting and engaging. -Whenever you write about a person, you have to show the good and bad. People are never one-dimensional. -Litter your book with continuous stories, where you tell a piece of a sto...

In these memoir deep dives I highlight my takeaways from the book and how I can apply what I learn to writing my own memoir. Here's what I learned from Greenlights: - Coin a term for the title of your book. - Open with a powerful, visual scene. - "The choices we make write the chapters." - Take creative liberties: experiment with more dialogue! - Repeat themes/ideas you want the read...

Charlie is going to write a memoir. What better way to learn about memoir than to read them and reflect on them? In this episode, Charlie talks about what resonated from the book Wild by Cheryl Strayed, and how her notes can help her as she thinks about her own writing. This new format was inspired by David Senra's Founders Podcast. If you haven't listened to his podcast, you should.

Charlie forgets to press record on the first hour of her conversation with Polina. No matter! Polina is a gem. They talk about how they write and their relationships with alcohol. Polina shares her thoughts on personal writing and failure. And they end with a new segment they came up with together called Slow Burn And Smooth Jazz. You won't want to miss it. Pre-order Polina's book, out Jun...

Charlie hates hates hates hates hates feeling stupid. And she did something REALLY stupid this week. References: I Hate Feeling Stupid Shrinking on Apple TV

The Bleeckers got COVID. It sucked, but it could be worse. Charlie and Sam talk about their bad habits with sweets and their relationship with alcohol (not great, but they've come a long way). George has gotten particular with his food preferences which makes mealtime a struggle. They debate whether George is speaking words yet, and Sam calls Charlie selfish for making him sleep in the guest bedro...

Charlie and Sam discuss the mindfuck that is sleep training your baby. Then Charlie opens up about her chronic neck pain and anxiety and explores what it means to live a happy life. She ends with a song. You're welcome. References:  Boyd Varty on The Tim Ferriss Show Zero-based budgeting The Disease of More

Charlie struggles with her need to be liked and Sam admits a recent parenting fail with the newborn. They excitedly discuss a new purchase: suitcases!! Then Charlie tells the story of how she and Sam met and tries to articulate some thoughts around the idea that "timing is everything." References: The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga The Tim Ferriss Show with Boyd Varty A...

The podcasting honeymoon phase is over for Charlie and Sam! They got into a massive argument this week and things got ugly before they eventually (finally) resolved it. They talk about their recent parenting struggle: finding the perfect nanny. And end by dreaming about their "rich life."  References: I Will Teach You To Be Rich with Ramit Sethi (podcast)

Charlie sticks her foot in her mouth once again and lives to tell the tale. She and Sam finally resolve a conflict that occurred almost two years ago.  Then they share their latest parenting struggle: brushing their toddler's teeth. They discuss their mentalities around money and talk about their recent purchase: a nursery chair for the new baby. And to cap it off, they end with their favorit...

Charlie is joined by her husband Sam to rehash their latest argument (it's not Charlie's best look). Then they discuss what they learned recently about parenting, talk about their 16-month-old son's struggles with swallowing food, and end with goals for 2022.  References: How To Raise An Adult: Break Free Of The Overparenting Trap And Prepare Your Kid For Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims The D...