Meeting the Inconceivable | Zen Koans, Dreams & the Creative Life

In this lively summer sesshin talk, Roshi John Tarrant engages students in reflecting on what actually happens as practice deepens during a long retreat. Like front foot and back foot walking, we get a taste of the light and then are lost again in the darkness. We reach for a new koan or practice that will open the "right" door. Seeing our true nature encompasses both the light and the dark. Let t...

Meditation is not something you do; it is something you surrender to. In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant speaks from deep inside Summer sesshin about how, with practice, the gap between ourselves and the universe begins to close and we start to trust the deeper currents at work, even in our difficulties. What happens when you surrender to the moment? "The thing about koan meditation is you don't...

Today, Roshi John Tarrant takes up an infamous koan about a woman raising a goose in a bottle. There are many bottles that we may feel trapped in throughout our lives. Awakening is never about solving our problems but rather about dissolving the constraints of the mind. In this episode, we discuss the don't-know quality of Zen and koans in general. We also consider koans as a gateway. "Reject what...

This episode features several stories of awakening to what was always already here and on our side. To end the project of suffering that many of us take on, we need first to identify the types of suffering. Only then can we begin to look past the suffering to the root causes. In Buddhism, we can learn to make use of our suffering by reaching for the light. What does reaching for the light look lik...

In this episode, Roshi Tess Beasley begins with an old Seamus Heaney poem about how the universe appears in all its splendor in the places we least expect. What does it mean to stay intimate with the being of the world, and let it unfold against our fingertips? What does it mean to give way to poverty in Zen, meaning to be empty of ideas and preconceived notions? Listen to this episode to learn ho...

Roshi John Tarrant explores the intersection of the art of haiku and silence. In this episode, he shows how the vastness of the universe is always ready to emerge out of our very own heart-mind. How do we convey this? Listen to this episode as we grapple with the marvel of being alive and the sense of vastness of things. We muse on what comes out of the silence and consider how to teach and learn...

As the year comes to a close, "the Guanyins" -- Roshis Allison Atwill, Tess Beasley, Michelle Riddle, and Sarah Bender -- team up to tell a wintery Christmas tale of wonder. Holidays often come with difficulties, but also have the potential of opening the heart into unexpected moments of healing. Listen to a story of reconciliation, surprise, and the blessing that emptiness can bring to any season...

In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant shares a wondrous and humorous rendition of an old fairytale about the Golden Bird and Buddha Nature. Explore how it is never our most treasured or heroic attitudes that lead us through the gates of awakening; it is far simpler than that. Tarrant reminds us that, with just one sitting, all our crimes are wiped away. Listen to this episode to learn about the bene...

Thanksgiving and the whole notion of gratitude can bring along complicated feelings. In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant shares an old story about a miserable student convinced that he is beyond help. The teacher he finds tells him she'll offer him a practice but only if he promises to take it up for a whole year, no questions asked. It goes terribly, but even that turns out perfectly in the end....

In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant shares an old Zen story about navigating impossible times and realizing how life carries us even when it's tough. "For thirty years, I've been just getting by," says the teacher in question, "but I've never lacked for salt or sauce." What makes the salt and sauce of our lives? Listen to this moving and joyful exploration of how, no matter our circumstances, it i...

Being lost has a transformative beauty to it. Being lost is a gateway to the extraordinary, as it brings about the possibility of not knowing who we are. Listen to this episode as Roshi John Tarrant discusses the importance of being tossed out of our certainties and discovering something far more strange and true. The final evening of sesshin in the bath. "We can't object to the path or ourselves....

During our journey of existence, we lose and find our true nature. It's amazing what we know once we allow ourselves to know it. What magic happens when koans start talking to each other? In this episode, Roshi Tess Beasley discusses the game of hide-and-seek we are constantly playing with ourselves, others, and everything. "There is some idea that things belong to us, but they certainly don't. Th...

What does it mean to be in the bath of awakening? We somehow always have a reluctance to immerse ourselves completely, which is the very thing that holds it at bay. In this episode, Roshi Jess Cardin talks listeners through another water koan from The Blue Cliff Record in which the teacher recounts the "subtle touch reveals the light in everything." What do you hold in reserve? What keeps you feel...

The stone drenched with rain points the way. In this episode, Roshi Allison Atwill speaks on a koan born of a haiku by Japanese poet Santoka Taneda. What does it mean to be drenched in our own lives and experiences? This episode invites listeners into the constant downpour that is the universe itself. "It is a promising moment when we give up trying to control our situation; not to get our of the...

We are all walking through the valley holding our lanterns. What is the Way? What do the valley and the lantern represent? Koans allow us to stop chasing. When we are not chasing things, we can experience freedom and delight. When you relate to something outside of yourself, you can be free. Listen to this episode as Roshi John Tarrant muses on having the mind of a dead log. "The whole of your lif...

With realization, all things are one family. Without realization, all things are separate and disconnected. In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant talks about the empathy of meditation and its lack of opposition. Meditation assists in undoing the structures the mind makes. We can let go of control and let the koans carry us. Listen in to learn about the hidden allies we have in our lives and why the...

Today, Roshi Allison Atwill shares a poem about our intrinsic ability to always carry light and silence. In this episode, she explains how the original silence is always with us and within us. What are the elemental termas of Tibetan Buddhism? How can we apply these termas to meditation practice? We can learn and teach from the silence and the light that we each have within. "Awakening always appe...

There is always a certain amount of mystery to who we are and where we are. In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant takes up a poetic case entitled Jiashan's Beautiful State of Mind. What is your state of mind? What is it like to be you? "The universe is holding all of us and is all of us." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/19  

In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant tells the story of Deshan and his transformative pilgrimage of awakening. We are all Deshan, ready to let go of our old pile of stories. What is it like to be on a journey? How do we get home from a journey? How does the journey change us? How can we meet our journey with openness? "Meditation is a kind of change of heart, but it is more a forgetting to carry ou...

Today, Roshi John Tarrant takes listeners on a vivid imaginal journey into the depths of the Blue Dragon's cave of wisdom. "For twenty years, I've struggled fiercely. How many times have I gone down into the Blue Dagon's cave for you?" This great question appears in Case 3 of The Blue Cliff Record , the canonical Zen Buddhism koan collection. Tarrant offers context for the power of the Zen koan tr...

Today, Roshi Allison Atwill explores the bodhisattva's unique relationship with uncertainty as a healing balm for suffering. Describing how Zen Buddhism draws from the Mahayana tradition in which the bodhisattva path means helping to awaken all beings, Atwill notes this is not a future goal to somehow be achieved but a moment-to-moment way of meeting every aspect of our own lives with sincere open...

Can we trust our own unique response to life, our own dharma? In this episode, Roshi Tess Beasley speaks about how seductive problems are, and how frozen we can become when we think that something beyond what's already here is required. Telling the story of Juzhi and his infamous awakening encounters, first with the Zen Buddhist nun, True World, and then with the spirit of the mountain, Beasley co...

In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant takes up a series of bright gate koans from The Blue Cliff Record , all featuring one of the greatest Zen masters of all-time, Yunmen. At the root of these dharmakaya koans lies the question of consciousness, or what Yunmen describes as: what is that light that everyone has? Chock-full of awakening stories from ancient China to modern day, this talk showcases Ze...

Today, Roshi John Tarrant offers a guided meditation on a spring koan from the canonical Blue Cliff Record . It tells the story of longtime practitioner Lingyun, wandering in the mountains on a spring day, and suddenly, really seeing peach blossoms for the first time. He writes this verse: For thirty years I searched for a master swordsman, how many times did the leaves fall, and the branches burs...

In this episode, Roshi Allison Atwill offers insight into Zen's signature transmission beyond words and letters. Telling the story of infamous Japanese Zen Master, Ikkyu Sojun, and his ambivalence toward transmission, Atwill describes how our particular awakening is always tailor-made to the circumstances of our lives. It always comes through the door we least expect, and dissolves whatever sense...