Medallica: Minnows vs The World

WE ARE ALIVE! After spending 15 business days in the skies, the final wrap of the 2024 Paris Olympic Games is here. We cover off the totally normal closing ceremony, before delivering our recap of our much anticipated meeting with the IOC. In a wonderful case of things coming full circle, the final edition of Apocalympics Now ends exactly where it started - in the poo-infested tip that is the Sein...

HOPE YOU’RE BEHIND THE WHEEL OF YOUR STORY AND HAVE GOT A DRIVE AHEAD OF YOU BECAUSE HERE’S A BLOCKBUSTER WRAP OF DAYS 12 AND 13 We have been at the front of a now very full Teboggan as we ride Letsile Tebogo’s 200m gold medal for Botswana and we don’t wanna get off. The Refugee Team also gets off the mark in a huge way, with a bold display that Carrera Eyewear would be proud of. Apocalympics Now...

IT’S DAY 11, SO GET IN THE CAR, WE’RE DRIVING OUR STORY TO CRÉMEVILLE We welcome our newest Riggustani Public Servant before launching how our bid for Riggustan 2036: It’s Liechtenstein-time is looking ahead of our meeting with the IOC. Apocalympics Now brings a cautionary tale from the Elephant’s Graveyard that is the 9th arrondisement, and a run-in with Big Cheese. Minnow Watch is as bloated as...

IT’S DAY DISS AND RIG IS BREATHING LIKE A PUG THAT’S WALKED FIFTY METRES It was a huge day of action, but mostly off the field/track/bouncy floor. Apocalympics Now covers an entire country spitting the dummy and threatening to boycott, while a noble French company offers to help out the most popular pole vaulter and pole owner in the world. We also cover the underdogs bringing home some decidedly...

IT’S CHAMPAGNE FOR US, REAL PAIN FOR THE ATHLETES IN THE VILLAGE With guts full of champagne and espresso martinis, we are back with a wrap of Day Nerf of the Olympics. We cover off the most undeserved invitation we have received to date to a brand party, while simultaneously laughing at the fact that we are living better than the athletes in the village. Apocalympics Now is back with stories of t...

ALL THEY DO IS LITERALLY WIN! Dominica and Saint Lucia get off the mark in a huge way, claiming their first ever medals, which are gold, and we are absolutely on fire for it. Cape Verde also joins them in breaking the duck with a bronze in boxing for their first ever medal. Apocalympics Now sees us revisit our Stade de France trauma and the worst power tripping by a security guard since Rig’s 21st...

CALL US BEURRE GRYLLS BECAUSE WE ARE SURVIVING PURELY ON BUTTER ON DAY 6 OF THE GAMES France’s bizarre idiosyncrasies have reached boiling point for us. If no air conditioning wasn’t enough, turns out they’ve got the world’s dumbest recycling scheme going at the Stade de France and are obsessed with showing us fencing against our will. We persevere however, because we’re battlers who don’t sweat t...

GUATEMALA GUAT-A-GOLD-A! We are absolutely up and about for Guatemala’s first ever Olympic Gold courtesy of Adriana Ruano in the Women’s Trap. We discuss hers and Guatemala’s rise to the top, and their subsequent fall from the Minnow Medals. On the Apocalympics front, the Triathlon from Hell went ahead as the IOC confirmed that they do in fact hate athletes, and we are suitably and hilariously dis...

BONSOIR FROM THE PUB STADIUM WITH NO BEER! We’re sober as judges due to a bizarrely archaic rule in Paris that means you can’t have a coldie and support your country. And while that’s annoying for us, it’s doubly annoying for the Aussie women competing in the Rugby 7s. We rip into this terrible piece of public policy as we melt into our chairs in the French heat and endure the doubly French refusa...

COME ON SAH VAH MEZ AMEEZ?? Day 3 of the Paris Olympics is upon us and we are beaming to you live from the City of Light. The wheels are well and truly off at the these Games, and we’ve got all the dockets to prove it on Apocalympics Now. From the River of Poo to briefcase of jewels, now is seemingly safe in Paris and we’re here as laugh partners to have a good old chuckle at it. The Minnow Medal...

The minnows are absolutely flying after the first day of competition. Perennial bridesmaid Moldova sees their first success of the game with a bronze medal, but in a more important way, they launch themselves to the top of the Minnow Medals with a couple of Gallium’s. We give you the rub on all the other minnows after the first day of action before launching into DroneGate and SweatGate in Apocaly...

WE HAVE FIRST DAY FEVER AND IT’S CONTAGIOUS AF. Just breathing the weird Paris air today has gotten us up and about for the first day of the Olympics. We recap the all the bizarre happenings from the acclaimed French arthouse student film “Opening Ceremony”, almost crush a cardboard in the Olympic village by just talking about in Apocalympics Now, and talk about the first recipients of this Game’s...

We are beaming to you live from Vaduz, Liechtenstein as we exclusively announce our joint bid for the 2036 Olympics. The mountainous country rich in Lamborghinis and poor in train lines is a minnow battler that jumped at the chance to host the games with Riggustan. We cover all the details in the cast, as well as the contagious strikes of Paris in Apocalympics Now and the elevation of a new minnow...

Another dé, another euro at these Olympic Games, and we are happy to report that the wheels are hilariously starting to come off. And thankfully we’ve packed the craziness, pettiness and stubbornness of it all into a chockers Apocalympics Now. Minnow Watch sees a dark horse emerge in a blue ribbon event, and we welcome three new citizens to take the full count to six, something the superstitious/d...

We are back at it from the créme capital of the world to deliver you another action packed installment of Medallica: Minnows Vs The World. The prodigal son of segments returns as Apocalympics Now brings up all the hilarious pitfalls of holding the largest event on earth. We take a look at some of the archaic laws still on the French books, and we bow down to a new venerated Riggustani Supreme Lead...

BONJOUR MES AMIS! It’s a bumper first installment of Medallica: Minnows Vs The World: Pavement to Paris. We take a look at our feature athletes for these games, who are their country’s only hope a la Obi Wan Kenobi, as well as unveiling our grand plans for hosting the 2036 Olympics in our own backyard. Literally a backyard. For now anyway. We’re looking at extensions to hold equestrian events etc....

It’s the FINAL DAY of the Olympics, which means it’s the last mention of the Turkmenistan gas crater for a while. But we send the 2020+1 Apocalympics off in style, with a bumper show that shits on cycling in its many forms, unveils the winner of the Minnow Medal Tally, sticks it to salty Russians and puts together the best damn Olympic athlete boat race team in minnow-based Olympic podcast history...

LET THIS DAY LIVE IN THE OPPOSITE OF INFAMY! Because for the first time in Medallica’s history, one of our feature minnow athletes has actually medalled! It’s a bumper edition of the show! We obviously go off like porridge in a sock with the news that Huge Fab has won Burkina Faso’s first ever Olympic Medal, but we also come good on an ad we were paid to do, take a geeze at the Minnow Medals and c...

It’s Day 12 and we are going off like a booze-filled plane full of rowdy Aussies! We take a look at the Minnow Medals to reveal a new leader at the top of the tally, keep an eye on Huge Fab, suggest new sports for BrisVegas 2032 and talk about the world’s most famous button. Shoot us a listen now!

It’s Day 11 and we are feeling like Aussie Swimmers after an Olympic Village bender. But we are backing up and bringing the goods with force, like driving rain at the hurdles. We have a peek at the Minnow Medals before giving you a sampling platter of our interview with Tongan olympian/soon to be coconut oil baron Pita Taufatofua. We also have a bumper Apocalympics Now segment just filled to the b...

In a huge show of trans-Tasman underdog friendship, the People’s Republic of Riggustan and Tonga have extended the taekwondo kick of friendship and come together to provide an interview for the ages. Pita Taufatofua, the oiled-up viral sensation that is the leading cause of your Mum going into the laundry for long periods of time, got on the phone with us to talk oil, Brisbane 2032, and play the w...

We’re into double digits on Day 10 of these Tokyo 2020+1 Apocalympics and to celebrate, we’ve filled this to the brim with a fat amorphous mass that you deserve! In just 40 mins, we manage to ram in a reference to our exciting upcoming interview with feature athlete Pita Taufatofua, throw Qatar in the bin, check out the Minnow Medal Tally, Aussies getting on the piss, before ending on the alpha an...

It’s Day 9 of these 2020+1 Apocalympics and we have now seen ANOTHER minnow break their medal drought, with known slave-drivers Qatar winning gold in the weightlifting. We talk about their achievements and blatant human rights violations, as well as Rohan Browning’s junk, the minnow medals and Novak Djokovic being the actual worst. Throw this into your ears like Joker throws racquets into the stan...

Day 8 of the Apocalympics is upon us and we are barely holding it together. The constant state of excitement about tiny countries has sent our nervous systems into overdrive. To keep the high going, we cover the veritable flood of minnows in the athletics, have a look at the minnow medals, check in with our boy Huge Fab and witness the start of the Twitter Cold War. Have a listen to hear us ooze v...

Day 7 and we are officially some of the way through the Tokyo 2020+1 Apocalympics. And WHAT A DAY - San Marino comes from the clouds to claim their first ever medal! We celebrate by hitting you with the most random facts about that country that we could find, and finishing the episode with Flo Rida's cash grab of an appearance on their behalf at Eurovision 2021. As always, we take a look at the Mi...