Maximize Your Influence

Want to negotiation tips from a FBI hostage negotiator?  What negotiation tools are working?  Which tools lost the value? Listen to this interview with Chris Voss. Meet Chris: Prior to 2008, Chris was the lead international kidnapping negotiator for the Federal Bureau of Investigation, as well as the FBI's hostage negotiation representative for the National Security Council's Hostage Working Group...

How do you get a raise?  How do you strategically negotiate a raise to earn what you are worth?  Or is it better to persuade?  What is the difference between the two?  Persuasion occurs when your ideas are so convincing that the other party ends up adopting your point of view.   With persuasion, there is no compromising, as there is in negotiation.  Rather, the other party willfully and enthusiast...

Of all the tools in your persuasion toolbox, questioning is probably the one most often used by Power Persuaders. Questions are used in the persuasion process to create mental involvement, to guide the conversation and to find out what your prospect needs. Questioning is a very diverse and useful tool. An important study observed hundreds of negotiators in action in an attempt to discover what it...

 What is NLP? Neuro-linguistic programming, or "NLP" as it is called today, is a very interesting science. NLP was first developed by UC Santa Cruz professor John Grinder and graduate student Richard Bandler.  Its basic premise is that one's thought patterns, beliefs and attitudes can be used to "preprogram" actual experiences that are yet to happen. NLP is very focused on how we think, what influ...

Mind Control and Expectations We communicate our expectations in a variety of ways. It may be through our language, our word choice, voice inflections, or our body language. Think of a time when you've been introduced to someone. Usually, if they introduce themselves by their first name, then you do the same. If they give their first and last name, you do likewise. Whether you realize it or not, y...

The psychological edge gained by top persuaders cannot be overemphasized. How do great persuaders prepare their minds for success? What is their mental process before, during, and after the persuasion cycle? This mental aspect is one of the most important (and usually neglected) traits of success. Almost everyone wants to accomplish their dreams, achieve more, become a better person, or pursue big...

There are only two things that motivate us in life: inspiration and desperation. We either move toward that which inspires us, or we move away from that which fills us with despair or discomfort. Most people only use desperation's motivational energy. Any persuader can motivate an audience with desperation, fear, and worry. The problem is that motivation spurred by desperation does not last. Peopl...

Life Alignment When we look at life, we have to realize that it is not lived in segments, but rather, it is part of a greater whole. Every aspect of your life will either help or hurt the rest of your life. Our aim is to get all aspects working together to create a high-performing fund. Realize, however, that you can invest too much in one aspect of your life. When you do, you can get unbalanced j...

Getting Over That Slump (personal or team) Anytime you're in a leadership position, you are faced with the question of how best to motivate yourself and those who work under you. There are countless philosophies and ideas out there, all claiming to be exactly what you need. The truth is, there is no one perfect answer. What works at one time will not always work the next time. There are team dynam...

We usually explore the obstacles and mistakes in the world of average persuaders. Now I want to look at the flip side. We'll look inside your audience's mind and reveal all the things that Advanced Influence research tells us "persuadees" love about their persuaders. You will notice that some of these qualities are emotion-based. You made your audience feel good about themselves or comfortable abo...

The worst time to learn a sales skill is when you need it. Persuasion and sales must be mastered before it is needed, or the opportunity is lost forever. In all the years that I have worked in persuasion, sales, influence, and leadership, I have never yet found a perfect persuader (especially me). I have met many very skilled persuaders, but none that have completely mastered all that they were ca...

Persuasion Vomit (Data Dump) Many times, when we are trying to be persuasive, we want to highlight all the perks and plusses. It's only natural. Wouldn't helping someone see the potential gains of your product or service be a good thing? Yes, but here is the issue: Your audience will buy for their own reasons and only their reasons. They don't care about why you like the product or service. They d...

 Psychological Power: The Mind Game Psychological Power is the ability people have to influence you while disguising their true intentions. People who are adept at using Psychological Power seek to alter another individual's perceptions. Two (the other 10 are on the podcast) of  the most common Psychological Power techniques are outlined below. # 1: Time Pressure       People are slow at making de...

Anger is a secondary emotion. A prospect's anger is usually an indicator that something else is askew and that he needs or wants attention.  When we are angry – we want attention or action now. You can assist in diminishing his anger by determining the key issue he is upset about. It is also often effective to ask for his help, opinions, or advice.  This will usually diffuse his anger or even chan...

The Brick Wall of Resistance Has this ever happened to you? You enter a retail store and you're approached by a sharply dressed persuader. You are interested in buying, but the salesperson is a little aggressive. You get an alarming feeling in the pit of your stomach and then do what many of your customers do to you. You lie! You say, "I'm just looking; I'll come back later," or "It's too expensiv...

Many times, when we are trying to be persuasive, we want to highlight all the perks and plusses. It's only natural. Wouldn't helping someone see the potential gains of your product or service be a good thing? Yes, but here is the issue: Your audience will buy for their own reasons and only their reasons. They don't care about why you like the product or service. They don't care how much you know a...

   Great persuaders are congrooent, but what is congrooence? When things match, we don't notice, but if something seems off, it grabs our attention either consciously or subconsciously. Just like the misspellings in the first sentence of this paragraph. You noticed it and your mind told you something was wrong with that word. Congruence is when your words match your actions. Agreement and harmony...

 You have to be careful in how you explain and exhibit your credibility. If you launch into a laundry list of your accomplishments or of your education and titles, you might be perceived as a self-centered. Take advantage of less direct or less self-proclaiming ways to show your audience how competent you are. For example, you can hang your degrees on the wall, have someone else give a brief bio,...

Does confidence affect your ability to persuade? The answer is a resounding yes. It is important that you do not come across as cocky or arrogant. How can you tell the difference? It's all about the intention. Confidence is motivated by a sincere desire to serve—you can help make a difference, and you know you can do a great job. You know that you have the tools, resources, ability, and inclinatio...

Competence is your knowledge and ability in a particular subject area. True competence comes from lifelong learning and experience. Competency exists on many levels. When we are observing someone from a distance, or when we are meeting them for the first time and our experience with them is very limited, we subconsciously perceive and assign them a certain competency level. These assumptions are u...

Character is the combination of qualities that distinguishes one person from another. These qualities make up who you are on the inside—not the external front you may sometimes put up. Who are you, really? What do you do when no one is watching, when there is no one to impress? How do you treat people when you don't need something from them? Character is also made up of such qualities as integrity...

Whenever someone tries to influence us, in our minds we ask ourselves, "Can I trust this person? Do I believe him? Is she really concerned about me?" We are less likely to be influenced if we sense that the person trying to persuade us is driven solely by self-interest. Trust is the glue that holds the entire persuasion process together.  Trust is created when you put your audience's interests and...

The more a brand is advertised, the more popular and familiar it is perceived to be. We as consumers somehow infer that something is popular simply because it is advertised. When people are buying gifts for others, social proof is one of the most effective techniques that a salesclerk can use." Many salespeople find great success in telling clients that a particular product is their "best-selling"...

  Competence is your knowledge and ability in a particular subject area. True competence comes from lifelong learning and experience. Competency exists on many levels. When we are observing someone from a distance, or when we are meeting them for the first time and our experience with them is very limited, we subconsciously perceive and assign them a certain competency level. These assumptions are...

Optimistic persuaders outpersuade pessimistic persuaders every time. Not only is optimism essential to influencing others, but is also a critical for success in life. Optimism is more than a positive mental attitude. It is not constantly saying positive things to yourself and then hoping they will come true. Rather, true optimism is a state of mind that dictates how you look at the world. An optim...