Master Your Marriage

💔Don’t let resentment fester - overcome it with these tools: https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/   Conflict is inevitable. And if we can’t avoid it, what should we do instead? Shall we get in the fetal position and rock ourselves to sleep? Pretend conflict doesn't exist? Obviously not, guys. This is called Master Your Marriage, not Mess Up Your Marriage. So if we know that conflic...

“Needing may feel like wanting, but it comes from the worst in us. It comes from a poorly developed sense of self, where we need our partner to soothe our anxiety, boost our ego, and constantly agree with us.” - Sharla Ouch, that hurts, doesn’t it? We all know that being called “needy” comes with a negative connotation. But you’re not needy, right? You’re just expressing your preferences and your...

This $20 mini-course can help you overcome resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/ Robert’s back on this episode of the Master Your Marriage Podcast, and together, he and Sharla are going to help you change how you think about your relationship. We often don’t give thoughts the credit they deserve. But our thoughts have so much power over the world around us. Including o...

This $20 mini-course can help you overcome resentment ➡️  https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/ Realizing that the partner you chose to be married to will likely never give you the life you always envisioned for yourself can be a pretty terrifying reality… So, how do you hold onto your dignity and self-respect when it becomes clear that your partner can’t give you what you want? When...

***If you're struggling with resentment, please consider joining our Forgiveness Mini-Course https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/ *** “Why can’t we stick to focusing on happy, positive things, rather than creating problems where problems don’t exist?” - Person on Social Media This was the question that came their way as Sharla and Robert shared about their weekly meeting agenda which inc...

You’ve seen those couples that just seem like they have it all together, haven’t you? They’re so good it’s almost gross. Robert calls these “unicorn relationships,” but whatever you call them, you just know they’re pretty extraordinary. So, what sets them apart? Why are they just so darn good at being together? It comes down to integrity. From doing what they say they’re going to do to looking in...

Have you found yourself wondering lately - is this all there is? Today, let’s uncover the sneaky ways complacency can creep into even the strongest relationships. In this episode, you'll learn: The subtle ways taking your partner for granted can start to pull you apart Red flags to watch for, like disregarding opinions, and brushing off bids for connection The power of discovering each other's cor...

Do you shudder at the touch of your partner? Do you feel on edge and easily triggered lately? You might not even know where it’s coming from – it just happens suddenly. And it makes having sex extremely difficult. If this describes you, you’re not alone. Most couples will experience a sense of disconnection with their partner at some point(s) in their relationship.  Life happens, people chang...

“Most people are going to have two or three marriages or committed relationships in their adult life. Some of us will have them with the same person." - Esther Perel It was just one marriage ceremony between Sharla and Robert but if you knew them as a couple in the last three decades, the distinct differences in who they were together would paint 3 completely different pictures. Like asking a chil...

AI has taken over the business world. But can it help in marriage too? Maybe… if you ask it to plan dates for you. Or write your spouse a poem… No, instead, we’re in an era where we should be asking, “If not intellect, what other skill makes me stand out amongst the robots?” The answer? Emotional Intelligence. Or EQ. The ability to understand your own emotions and to accurately perceive the emotio...

Sharla and Robert are on the hot seat today as Deevo from “A Little Impolite” Podcast questions them on all things marriage, divorce, infidelity, substance abuse,  childhood trauma, and even religion. It’s clear by the numbers on success rate that Marriage isn’t always easy. Here are some that are discussed on this episode: Since the early 1900s, the average age of first marriage has risen to...

When you get married, it’s easy to become consumed in the togetherness of it all. But can too much togetherness be a bad thing? What about too much individuality? If your path to “becoming one” has felt a lot like losing two selves, this episode is for you. Robert and Sharla experienced this early on in their own relationship. Their past experiences shaped their patterns in marriage, and between a...

Do any of these describe you and your relationship? - You love your spouse, but you sort of hate being alone with them - When you’re alone with your spouse, you feel bored, anxious, or uncomfortable - You’re so stressed out in life, but when you try to relax, you just can’t - You don’t trust your spouse to go on trips together without it becoming a negative experience - You’re getting bored with y...

By the time a couple is ready to call it quits, chances are one, or both, of the parties involved have been complaining for quite some time – and eventually, someone just gets too tired of the complaining. So, how do you avoid becoming THAT couple? Well, you start by accepting influence. Being flexible enough to shift your viewpoint or response based on your partner’s feedback, taking those compla...

Compromise never feels perfect. Great, now that we've got that out of the way, let's be honest about what compromise DOES feel like. It can feel like you're giving up too much... like you're losing your identity... Or like your partner is the reason you don't get your dreams fulfilled. Do these resonate with you? Well, good news. It doesn't actually HAVE to feel that way.  Gottman research sh...

When do perpetual problems in our relationship become a PROBLEM? When do we need to worry?  When partners get so entrenched in their positions, they go into 'gridlock.' And gridlock leads to emotional disengagement and a cascade of isolation – bad news if you're looking to stay in a loving relationship. So how do successful couples handle problems? Sharla and Robert are sharing a powerful com...

How are we building emotional resilience so that we can show up as our higher self in order for our relationship to grow? One proven way is through the power of our breath, something that we are all already doing anyway! Debra Heslin is in conversation today with Sharla Snow, and together, they are exploring ideas around emotional resilience, and creating 'coherence' so that our four connected sys...

How do you see yourself? How do you see your partner? And how do you think your partner sees you? Decoding our sexual desire is the theme of this week's episode, as Sharla and Robert debunk the Hollywood ideas of what sex 'should' be like in a relationship. Together they get to the heart of what is required to maintain a deep, desire-driven relationship well into the years when cellulite and old a...

What does sex mean for you? Now ask yourself: what does sex mean for your partner? And what about intimacy? Do you and your partner have a clear understanding of each other's needs for both intimacy and sex?  Sex, intimacy, and vulnerability. These three ideas end up colliding in the bedroom and either creating amazing sex and connection or creating resentment and distance in your relationshi...

Defensiveness in relationships has become increasingly pervasive, posing a significant challenge in modern times. It hinders genuine connection, fosters negativity, and breeds resentment.  However, Robert and Sharla are here to guide you toward a transformative path. Discover the psychology behind defensiveness as Robert and Sharla shed light on its roots and why it fails as a constructive co...

{ Get the guidebook that accompanies this episode: "Building Love Maps Guidebook, a practical guide to rich and meaningful conversations } Even the best therapy in the world won't work if it only focuses on conflict and fails to focus on building friendship and positive systems of affection with your spouse.  In today's episode, Robert and Sharla introduce a skill to help you create a deeper...

As humans, we all have specific thoughts that don't bring the desired results. These thoughts can make our lives more difficult and cause hardships in our relationships.  You may not have chosen them. You may have absorbed them when you were a child, and you have carried them during your life.  But the good news is that these thoughts can be changed.  In this episode, Robert intervi...

How do successful couples manage external stress in their relationships? Learning how to become allies with your partner and creating a buffer between the two of you and the pressures of the outside world is the subject of today's important episode. The power of stress-reducing conversations in relationships is a secret ingredient that can elevate your connection, increase your intimacy, and impro...

What if there was a better way for your words to have their intended effect on your partner? Honest, non-defensive words have the power to reverse a difficult interaction and restore connection and intimacy in our relationship.  How we learn to speak more gently for greater effect is achieved by first appreciating the difference between content and context in any challenging conversation.&nbs...

Have you ever thought about your partner, 'Can I trust you?' Are there things you want to tell them but don't, because you're afraid of how they will react?  If something is holding you back from sharing your feelings with your spouse, or if you and your partner get defensive when negative emotions get brought up, then today's episode of Master Your Marriage is just for you.  Developing...