Masks Off: Inner Freedom For People-Pleasers and Perfectionists

Do you find yourself overreacting to the things that people say or do? Do you feel triggered when another gives their opinion about you? Are you creating a story in your mind that has nothing to do with the reality of what is happening? In these situations it is important to pause and ask yourself if you are taking something personally and it is important to ask yourself how important is what the...

In this episode Kim and Tia have an honest and raw conversation about what it means to be a martyr. If you feel resentful because of the sacrifices that you make for others, most likely you are wearing a martyr mask. If you make sacrifices from your heart and it is genuine, you most likely won’t feel resentful. Often the martyr struggles to set boundaries and therefore, makes those sacrifices and...

In this episode Kim and Tia discuss how difficult it can be to ask another person for what we need. In reality, it is up to the individual to meet their own unmet needs. While we can ask another to meet a need, at the end of the day it is not the other person’s responsibility to meet that need. While it is reasonable to express our wants, desires and needs, we must let it go at that and not expect...

Are you able to look at the truth of who you are? Kim and Tia discuss how the denial mask can create separation between ourselves and others by judging and blaming others instead of taking ownership of our part and our own responsibility. We are often afraid to look at our weaknesses and take responsibility for our behaviors since it is easier to point the finger at the other. We cannot live whole...

Accepting your reality can be difficult to do, but the truth is the only choice is to accept the “as is” otherwise you can create more suffering in your life. It is difficult to lean into the discomfort of the messiness that life brings. We cannot control other people, places, and things. We can only control ourselves. Life is 20 percent of what happens and 80 percent of how we respond. How do you...

Kim and Tia take a deeper dive into what it means to be truly authentic. They discuss how culture conditions us to fit into a mold of who we should be. It is like sheep to the slaughter house. We start out going to school, then graduating, perhaps college, get married, have a good job, have kids, then retire. This is the path for many. Rarely do we really ask ourselves what we truly want in life....

How often do you find yourself living in the future? Are you living your life in the past or the future? How often can you live in the present moment? We are not taught to live in the present. The only thing we have is the present moment and to think we have control over the future or over another is an illusion. It gives one a false sense of power/control. We often feel that we need to have a sen...

In this episode Kim and Tia talk about how dangerous shame can be when we hide our stories where we feel shame from others to see. Keeping those shame stories inside is like putting a cover on a petri dish and allowing something to grow. It is not our fault that we do not want to be raw and real because society has conditioned us to be afraid to be our real selves. If we do not fit into the societ...

Do you find yourself blaming or complaining about other people, places and things? Do you feel frustrated because you can’t change or control people? Do you feel like everything happens TO you? And wonder again why me? A key signature behavior that we are in victim mode is complaining and resisting the as is. As we learn to take responsibility for our reactions or responses to situations we begin...

Do you have a difficult time watching your loved ones when they are struggling and in emotional pain? Do you feel like you want to fix peoples’ problems because you can’t bear that pain? In this episode, Kim and Tia explore that the 'rescuer' truly wants to avoid their own emotional pain, which is why they want to fix the other. When we feel anxious and fearful we often want to control the situati...

Disclaimer: this episode is a conversation between 2 white women about doing their own work around racism, deconstructing and becoming more antiracist. This conversation includes situations where we have caused harm to BIPOC through actions and words.  If you are a BIPOC, we are deeply sorry for harm done in the past, now, and in the future as we continue our education and strive to be more a...

In episode 7, Kim and Tia talk about the 'People Pleaser' mask. How many of us were conditioned to be the “good girl” when we were growing up? People pleasers are raised to not assert themselves. Many of us are people pleasers because we are secretly seeking outside validation and approval. While we might think we are helping the other, the truth is that we are trying to fill something within ours...

How do you show up in your life? Are you able to be your true self? Can you show up with others and be a hot mess or do you feel like you need to show the world that everything is fine and perfect? Do you seek approval through over-achieving and over-perfecting?  Kim and Tia take a deep dive and explore how we seek approval and validation from the outside rather than going inward and feeling...

No Risk. No Reward. In this episode Kim and Tia share the benefits that are possible as you begin to remove the masks that you wear and become more authentic. You begin to feel more empowered, free, and energized. You may notice that your relationships with people begin to improve or you may even move away from relationships that no longer serve you. As you begin to take off the masks that you wea...

Do you ever wonder why you feel depressed or anxious? Do you ever wonder why you don’t have fulfilling relationships in your life? Do you feel like you aren’t living your best life? In this episode Kim and Tia talk about the results/outcomes that may surface when we wear masks and cover up who we really are on the inside. Do you struggle to be vulnerable with people because it feels scary to show...

In this episode Kim and Tia talk about how the masks that we wear were created and why we continue to wear them. We don’t come into this world feeling unworthy, unloveable or fearful. We come into this world pure and shining our light. Anytime you look at babies or toddlers, they are so comfortable in their skin and they do not care what others think of them. Because of our upbringing and cultural...

Do you play small and dim your light or do you shine bright and stand in your self-worth? In this episode Kim and Tia talk about the various masks we create, and how wearing these masks dim our light and hide us from being who we truly are. Do you get sucked in by Facebook and Instagram and think how wonderful life is for the people you are viewing? When we compare, there is a feeling of less than...

In this episode Kim and Tia introduce themselves and share how their journey of creating Masks Off began. They share their journey, thus far, of becoming more authentic. They talk about how being vulnerable is scary and it takes courage to show up and share their truth. In each episode, Kim and Tia will have real and honest conversations about the masks that people wear. They will share their expe...