Marked Safe: A Disaster Podcast

This week, hurricane life continues, Melanie addresses her fake divorce, a Florida man won't be kink-shamed, and comas are complicated. Content warnings: extensive and descriptive discussion of comas/coming out of comas, severe physical trauma, and the loss of one's child. Car accident, falling asleep at the wheel, memory loss, and adult humor. Links: A Twist of Fate Michigan truck drive...

This week, Tiktok changes the game, Brianne leaves the podcast a bad review, an army of turtles defeats everyone, Melanie takes it all, Brianne will flash anyone, Arby's delivers disaster concierge service, Melanie is the trashy neighbor, we court a Waffle House sponsorship, and Melanie conceals a mohawk. Content warnings: hurricane aftermath, alligator attack, loss of spouse, sinkhole, serio...

This week, Melanie is marked safe, a man is a member of a very important organization, Dave dies, we cover the most horrifying thing we've ever covered, Jeep Liberties become problematic, and Melanie is wooed by scratch-off tickets. Content warnings: one use of the c-word, hurricane damage/evacuation/deaths, carbon monoxide poisoning, death by accidental hanging, extreme gore 50:27-58:50, tra...

This week, we don our emotional bat dresses, there's an alligator in someone's pants, a corporation is totally upstanding, murderous sludge gets upcycled, fishermen storm a factory, a lot of people die, and we explore possible alternate timelines. Content warnings: maltreatment of alligators, neurological symptoms in animals, eating eels, serious illness/possible death of five year old c...

This week, we have bones to pick with each other, a man goes to extreme lengths to fight for his right to party, the "show me" state shows 'em, a dumpster isn't a dumpster,  and the dead crash the party. Content warnings: unusual meats, turtle murder, fleeting mention of cannibalism, home break-in, gross earwax discussion, flooding, alcoholism, continuous and graphic discussion...

This week, MELANIE IS BACK, Brianne is haunted by a koala, Florida man bracket kicks off, Melanie loves chaotic men, everyone is naked, lava lamps cause a lot of trouble, Brianne meets a snake and tries on victim blaming for size, and Melanie permanently loses her right to judge Midwestern cuisine. Content warnings: COVID, unwanted physical contact in the form of a wet willy, passing mention of Gl...

This week, The Audio Guy is our final guest star and doesn't want to be a beaver, someone is a loser ghost, a barefoot medieval knight does a somersault, a nurse has two jobs in order to be a nurse and fails at both, TAG wants people to take their destinies by the dick, and a dialysis clinic has the most morbid layout imaginable. Content warnings: divorce, depression, vague mention of suicida...

This week, we have our third out of four guest stars, Jo has shady text messages, a town is built on stilts, Alaska proves a point to science, avalanche season gets out of control, Jo has Iditarod connections, a home invader turns out to be furrier than anticipated, somebody gets her booty bit, and Alaskans are stoic as hell. Content warnings: colonialism, tuberculosis, war, tsunamis, mountain cli...

This week, Mandi is willing and even ready to fight a chicken to the death, divers attempt the "Dive of Death" with mixed results, a diver finds himself on both ends of drunk driving disasters, someone fails to read the room on a scale never seen before on this podcast, Brianne's mom spills the Olympic tea, and in Melanie's absence we fail to make one single dick joke about the...

This week, we have our first guest star since Melanie got her ultimate disaster relief, Atlantis wants finger nipples and to eat her cat, Marked Safe is on TikTok now, it's time for everyone to get nekkid, we evaluate whether arrhythmia is a verb, a lot of corpses do a little breathing, Brianne is not cooking dinner after six days in a coffin, and we make petty ghost plans. SHOW NOTES Content...

This week, Melanie records her last episode before maternity leave, TAG (The Audio Guy) chimes in, we ponder what a Florida Man baby would be like, the cryptid bracket comes to a close, Melanie identifies her strengths, the final Titanic episode sets sail, a staffing change sinks the Titanic, Violet Jessop becomes our WCW, James Cameron has a bad trip, we demand an apology from Leonardo DiCaprio,...

This week, Melanie's labor is a disaster, Brianne makes one of the most controversial cryptid hot takes yet, a Carpathia passenger is an unapologetic gossip, the pro-Cal lobby is just three Billy Zanes in a trench coat, dogs get zoomies on the Titanic, a cat sees the writing on the wall, and we unpack two Jack Dawson conspiracy theories. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: burial at sea, death from...

This week, Brianne podcasts on nighttime cough syrup, Melanie poops her pants in Australia, the cryptid bracket gets to the final four, Brianne hates getting possessed, Melanie is aggressively unhelpful, a free gift turns out to just be death, and Melanie tells one of the most upsetting stories we've ever covered. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: Large-scale deaths of children throughout (most gr...

This week, Melanie is gonna have a baby and the southerners are unimpressed, The Audio Guy requests a specific head in a box, Chicago Mothman battles The Jersey Devil, we embark upon the maiden voyage of a Titanic extravaganza, women care for each other, someone dies standing up, and Brianne's inner 10 year old is having the best day of her life. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: death of an adole...

This week, Melanie ventures into the worst part of 2007 internet, the wendigo finally gets his day in court, Brianne would rather get eaten than deal with someone crying but Melanie loves the aesthetics of it, we get a classic “I didn’t know I was pregnant” story at 42,000 feet, someone jumps out of a moving train, Melanie introduces a different kind of birth canal, someone has a baby up a tree wi...

 This week, we complete each other, dingbats go up against melon heads, a little girl wants to smash a glass ceiling, Brianne has some unresolved gifted child issues, MELANIE IS HILARY SWANK, forensic anthropologists sling mud, we maybe start a book club, and our house tools get an upgrade. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: brief mention of stillbirth at 13:50, alcoholism, transportation accident. Link...

We've officially been a podcast for ONE YEAR! To celebrate, we wanted to record a little rundown of our first year in numbers, from ghosts in the studio to animals attacks to decapitations to conspiracy theories. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you for listening and making every single day of it so fun.

This week, we enter Jeremy Bearimy time, Bigfoot faces off against sentient pants, Melanie gets high-brow on us and continues with her favorite chaotic men theme, ballerinas catch fire, firefighters eff around and find out, a man hacks his way through a crowd, 807 Walnut Street is hit by disaster after grandiose disaster, and Melanie rolls out the exclusive new $20 Patreon level. SHOW NOTES Conten...

This week, discombobulation abounds, we start the hairdo pocket revolution, cryptid teeth arrive in the mail, Brianne does not want a head in the box, the wendigo and selkie face off, Melanie has an alarming conspiracy, we struggle to be mature, and a whole bunch of scuba diving disasters happen. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: brief reference to gore from last episode, sexual innuendo, brief mention...

This week, Melanie and Brianne contemplate mortality, Melanie crosses her legs to keep Baby John Mellencamp in, a cryptid has an elaborate backstory, we're joined in the studio by fourteen badass ghosts drinking beers, Brianne loves atmospheric trains, we all learn about saturation diving together, YouTube crowns the most gruesome death imaginable, and Melanie has disaster-themed maternity ph...

We aren't able to record this week, but we have an older episode you should check out today.

This week, Brianne plans a chair operation, the cryptid bracket continues with another lake snake versus an angry mountain monster, Melanie denies her taxidermy derby hat energy, a real life dryer fire crisis is averted, Brianne is underwhelmed by a drug syndicate, a villain falls from the sky, a black bear stumbles upon the stash of a lifetime, an unexpected snack rains down on Kentucky, a museum...