Marked Safe: A Disaster Podcast

This week, we reach climax, Heather is probably banging, Brianne is willing to lecture anyone at all, Melanie plays a reverse Uno card, we're tired of groaning and creaking, Melanie is gonna get her wets whisked, and we are sexy vampires. Content warnings: Structural collapse with fatalities, death/injury of teenagers, coma, serious injuries. Links: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1999_Aggie_Bo...

This week, Melanie curates a playlist, Brianne has cheese-based anxiety, Melanie is still on her normalization bullshit, we explore portals, Brianne is a connoisseur of victim blaming, and Melanie eats her pet. Content warnings: gambling, hypothetical damage to body in fall from cruise ship, drowning, decomposition, autopsy/visual identification of loved one, suicidal ideation/possible suicide fro...

This week, we match each other's bad energy, the bracket has a slappin' bop, we deliver the content people want, Melanie only has one pull-quote for any story, the ants come and they might be rude, and capitalism was the real villain all along. Content warnings: structural damage/collapse, claustrophobia, deaths by drowning/suffocation, horse deaths. Links: https://www.newspapers.com/ima...

This week, we strike a deal with listeners, Melanie gets stroked, Brianne is infuriated by the bracket match-up, Melanie wants to normalize wiener goo and makes it weird with an angel, Brianne appeases Big Shark, we wonder if good infestations exist, Melanie plans a crime, we determine whether Cody has to get dumped, the Coast Guard is dumb, some things are poppycock, you can delegate to us, and s...

This week, we get serious about listener story minisodes, Brianne has threatening opinions, the Disney song bracket has a very tough match-up, clickbait goes too far, we tell ourselves the truth about buffets, justice is not served, and our cockles are hot. Content warnings: multiple deaths in car accidents and from being struck by a vehicle. Links: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schoharie_limousin...

This week, Brianne establishes dominance, Melanie gains a superstition, a birthday party gets RSVPed with a hard yes, cats run wild, things go hinky, the sun might be inhabited, Brianne wants to be a wealthy fruit dealer, a different birthday party gets RSVPed with a hard no, women know how to find people, no one is having an affair of the genitals, and Brianne speaks ill of the dead. Content warn...

This week, we address the pettiest things we've ever done, a bridge slithers like a snake, life is messy, someone enters the Eamon McIntyre testicular hall of fame, we complete yet another Melanie bingo board, a cryptid gets shamed, Mothman threatens our job security, Melanie wants to see a dingbat's boobs, and we wish a very special Ghoul a happy birthday. Content warnings: bridge colla...

This week, Melanie starts a rumor about Brianne's death, the bat dresses come out of the closet, Melanie jinxes everyone repeatedly, the cursed Midwestern food bracket comes to a close, we have merch, Melanie tells us things to make us clutch our pearls, dinosaur length references return to the podcast, Brianne has advice for Netflix, and we complete a Melanie episode bingo board. Content war...

This week, Melanie has a gift and a burden, we reminisce about the smells that wouldn't leave us, the Midwestern food bracket prepares for a savory-ass showdown, Melanie continues her beef with Ohio, Brianne wants a vision board, an article was clearly written by a dude, Melanie buys a book, Brianne's politeness brings Satan into the picture, Binky bites the dinky, Lil Wayne and a polar...

This week, Brianne throws herself a curveball in Midwestern food brackets, Melanie matches energy, some maintenance staff have excessive job responsibilities, playful tigers are not necessarily whimsical, we float a new HGTV show, and a New Year's wish goes wrong. Content warnings: sometimes graphic death of animals from around 30:00 on, brief mention of discussion of suicide/depression 13:20...

This week, Melanie's the ho, the midwest abandons God, Brianne gets a little defensive, Melanie has advice about boning, Captain Nash saves a life, and we're all on the same page about Ohio. Content warnings: pregnancy loss, loss of pet, near-drowning, COVID-related isolation, broken bones. Links: Apple Confirms #TattooGate Problem is Real Apple Watch Apple Watch 4 Adds ECG, EKG, and Mor...

SHOW NOTES This week, we break some news too terrible even for a bat dress, two yummy sandwiches go head to head, Melanie adds to the Quicksand Irrational Fears Hall of Fame and gets aggressive about pancakes. Content warnings: second trimester loss, grief, funeral planning, death by burning, alcoholism, animal experimentation. Links: 06 Jul 1951, 12 08 Jun 1805, 3 13 Jan 1819, 2 15 Feb 1828, 1 20...

SHOW NOTES Melanie isn't nervous but Brianne has stage fright, Melanie doesn't want her sex tape released, Brianne has her most controversial hot take of all time and most upsetting episode of all time, we learn about the Fujita scale together and acknowledge that the world needs thrill-seeking bubbas. Content warnings: tornadoes, missing spouse, severe injuries, brain injury/memory loss...

This week, we write wedding vows, the battle of the beef goes down, a miniature shantytown full of miniature shopkeepers appears, we briefly achieve moral superiority over Canadians, Brianne plans international crimes, Melanie makes everyone cry, and we really want your bucket lists. Content warnings: death of grandparent, postpartum depression, hypothermia, drowning death, first responder PTSD. L...

This week, Ava has concerns about Black Friday, we revisit Momo and raise theories on Jerry's whereabouts, Brianne's villain origin story is finally revealed, fan favorite funeral potatoes appear on the bracket, a man whose name means fox stands up to the mafia, a sexy move with a lightbulb goes terribly wrong, we get mad at hospitals and float some alternatives to blood donation, a youn...

This week, Melanie does a cemetery crawl, Brianne gets inspired by pettiness beyond the grave, alligator feet present a setback for the anti-smoking lobby, green beans ruin the day, Melanie victim blames and slut shames sheep, and lightkeepers are all haunted. Content warnings: cemeteries/graves/decomposition, drugs, Hurricane Katrina deaths, drowning, boat capsizing, structural fire, burn injurie...

AUDIO DISCLAIMER: Melanie is at it again - she attempted a new recording set-up and the audio did not work out as planned. We've learned our lesson and won't be mixing it up again, sorry for the iffy sound this week! This week, the Midwestern food bracket has two tasty contenders, Melanie forgets this is a family show and is too willing to exhume a corpse, sewer alligators get gaslit out...

This week, Brianne throws a wrench in the Midwestern food bracket on day one, Melanie is forcibly drafted into the world of hot takes, we investigate the secret lives of farm children, Brianne has questions about necking, and we offer legal advice for anyone with a Kyle in their inbox. Content warnings: vomiting/nausea, adult jokes, murder, pigs eating people, violence, robbery, brief mention of r...

This week, Melanie wants to listen to the podcast in space with Jeff Bezos, Brianne aspires to chaotic good behavior, the Florida man bracket crashes to an end, TAG continues to pull strings, Melanie wants to suckle a cow, lessons are learned about rabies testing, we pause to fact-check an infamous Marilyn Manson rumor, Melanie has concerning beliefs about dentists, we rank fire safety devices, an...

This week, Melanie is WRONG, a bet is made, the Wendy's alligator goes out to pasture, TAG is an evil puppeteer, miners are poetic, history loves insane asylums, gold rushes, and white men, Brianne has hot takes on lobotomies, Robert Lawson ain't shit, and Melanie is doing Count Dante. Content warnings: fictional addiction, alcoholism, housefire, deaths of children, and suicidal ideation...

This week, we put on our gray business suits and campaign in Ohio, Brianne reveals herself to be a villain, an alligator in someone's pants emerges as a frontrunner, the Midwestern food bracket elicits a strong emotional response, Melanie hopes for a big snake, America is nothing to get excited about, Melanie disrespects the wishes of rougarous and gets spiderwebs in her bush, a self-proclaim...

This week, we learn how to be good citizens, an alligator is thrown through a fast food window, we cave to a year and a half of requests, pot gets framed for asshole genius behavior, and we cover the worst amusement park disaster yet. Content warnings: mentions of drugs, domestic violence 18:15-19:00, horrific death of a child which is the topic of the episode but discussed specifically from 39:00...

This week, Melanie puts out feelers for cross-stitching listeners, puppy justice takes over Florida, we petition to bring back the name Constance, Melanie gets catfished by a fake Steve Miller Band, and a tea dance goes horrifically wrong. Content warnings: structural collapse, graphic discussion of death and severe physical trauma, graphic discussion of traumatic rescue and recovery episodes, PTS...