Manage to Engage

In the last episode, we touched on the value of intrinsic value hunger... although, if you have experienced drive or motivation in your life, it probably didn’t take a lot to convince you that it’s a powerful and important element to not just achieving success but undergoing self-development.   And that, really, is the crux of this series on hunger – it’s a tool for self-development, not a means t...

In the last episode, I introduced you to The Competence Paradox.   This is the idea that, on one level, people are always doing the best that they can with what they have; the incentives, resources, and awareness that they are equipped with, in that moment. However, in the next moment, that can all change – and that means “your best” is conditional.   But our best also has an arch-nemesis, and it’...

What’s the most that you are capable of? How do you know?   The truth of the matter is that, whether you think you’re capable of quite a lot or nothing at all, you’re probably wrong. People are terrible at self-assessment, especially when it comes to assessing their own skill and ability, and this one of the reasons people need management at various points in their life.   So, today, I am going to...

Leaders generally become leaders because they are predisposed to choosing challenges – and if you are choosing to listen to this podcast to better yourself as a leader and a manager, then you are probably predisposed to this way of framing life as well.   That means, as a manager, you have a valuable perspective to offer the people who follow you, and you should give it to them. So, to conclude th...

Over the last two episodes, we’ve established that there’s no mystery shrouding the path to greatness – either you choose to test yourself, or you don’t. It’s a rigorous choice to choose one practice and make it more important than anything else, and when you do, you’ll find that what you learn about yourself is far more valuable than what you accomplish.   Today, we will examine how this dynamic...

In the last episode, I extended an invitation to all of you:   When you want to accomplish something great, when you look at a challenge in front of you, don’t just look at the content of it; don’t just look at the skills, learning, and actions that doing the thing requires.   Instead, ask yourself, “How is this challenge testing me? How is life inviting me to be a bigger version of myself here?”...

Are you great at anything, or do you want to be great at anything?   We’re all good at some things, but only a select few of us are willing to do what it takes to experience greatness – and if you ever have experienced greatness, in anything, you know that it only comes as a result of being tested.   So, in this four-part series, we’ll be looking at life through the frame of being tested, and we’l...

In the last episode, I shared a story about a delightful day I had at the beach – and why getting to that point of contentedness required accepting that I had no control over the arising phenomenon that I experienced, like rain or even my initial frustration.   Today, I want to help you take that practice of acceptance and apply it to the situations that arise in your life and in your business, so...

In the last episode, I presented the idea that the pursuit of happiness, the conditioning that happiness is something we will achieve after we accomplish XY and Z, lies at the root of our illusion of control.   It’s a seductive illusion that gives us the comfort because, in one sense, we feel like we have control over our experience. But in another sense, it means we’re also responsible for failin...

You have no control over your life. Also, you have total control over your life.   Both of these statements can be considered true, and that paradox lies at the heart of this three-part series on Surrendering the Illusion of Control.   This isn’t an entirely new concept for the podcast. We’ve discussed, in the past, our collective, innate desire to control reality; this shared delusion that we kno...

Last week, we discussed how both the mission and adventure mindsets are equally valuable and dangerous. They come from a place of either trying to take total control over your life or accepting that you have no control whatsoever, but both of those perspectives are incomplete.   The apparent truth is that you are not always in control and you are not always helplessly experience what life throws a...

In the last episode, I invoked a modern proverb – Life is a journey, not a destination – but you’ve likely heard this at some point earlier in your life, too. Although this is often interpreted as a suggestion to slow down and smell the roses, this helpful saying can also be viewed as a rebuke to the mission mentality that dominates our society, especially in business.   We are too focused on the...

In the last episode, we defined the difference between a mission and an adventure.   A mission is like in a heist film: there’s an objective, a plan, and coordinated execution of the plan – and if the plan is not executed appropriately, the objective can not be completed.   On an adventure, on the other hand, you have a sense of your objective, but you do not need to execute on a meticulously craf...

Over the next four episodes, we’re going to engage in a conversation about how we, as people and managers, approach tasks and getting things done – and today, we’re going to frame that conversation by defining the difference between a mission and an adventure.   But, to start off today’s conversation, I invite you to join me in a brief meditation so that we can all approach this discussion with a...

I ended the last episode by sharing my inner identity crisis, and now I want you to consider your own. When is life calling you to be something different than your self-prescribed identity suggests you are?   Take a moment to think about that question before we get into today’s conversation about how our skewed perception of identity affects our ability to be managers. I’d love your feedback. Clic...

Most of us embody identities built on our interpretations of the past, but there’s a huge gap between saying “I’m funny” and believing “I’m a funny person” – and it’s one our minds are happy to bridge through a healthy dose of delusion.   Understanding who or what you are being called to be, in any given moment, requires a degree of meta realization that few people have.   So, today, we are going...

Today, I want to bring your attention to a paradigm that causes everyone suffering, almost every day: What Is Vs. What I Think Should Be.   Everybody shoulds. We are all naturally included to think things ought to happen a certain way because... well, because that’s the way we think it ought to be. But when we impose these delusions about reality onto ourselves, we’re just choosing to suffer.   Re...

Most of us are conditioned to normalize disappointment, from a very young age, but that behavior has a dark shadow: normalizing our reactions to disappointment.   So to wrap up this four-part series, I want to help you denormalize disappointment in your life so that you have a frame to start managing it better. I’d love your feedback. Click here to leave a rating & review for the show on iTunes .

In the last episode, I shared a story to illustrate how we fall into the trap of disappointment, and how we can ultimately start managing disappointment.   So, to recap, there are four steps to managing disappointment:   Notice the disappointment. Notice the resistance to disappointment that is inevitably within us. Accept the disappointment as being part of life. Then operate inside of the parame...

Today, I want to share a story about my neighbor and I.   It’s the story of how I first started managing my disappointment, at least intentionally, and accepting the truth in the idiom “you can’t choose your neighbors.” I’d love your feedback. Click here to leave a rating & review for the show on iTunes .

Disappointment is inevitable. You could even plot it on a graph, with time on the X-axis and the likelihood of disappointment on the Y-axis. Given enough time, everyone you ever meet can be plotted onto this graph.   However, we have a choice when it comes to how we relate to disappointment.   So, to start this four-part series on managing disappointment, we will discuss how people usually experie...

As we wrap up this four-part series, we also reach the end of my online course, “Accountability, Metrics, Money, and Shame,” which is free for Clear and Open members.   But unlike most classes you’ve probably taken, this isn’t where your work on accountability, metrics, money, or shame ends – at least, I hope it isn’t. The choice is up to you.   Today, I have an assignment that will help you take...

We’ve discussed the Dunning–Kruger effect on the show before: the psychological phenomenon in which people who are not good at something tend to think they’re better at it than they really are. So the less you know, the more you think you know.   But this cognitive bias can only exists in relation our misguided assumptions about reality – namely, our assumption that we know how reality works and w...

In the last episode, I asked a question: What universal, daily part of the human experience is irrefutable proof of how deluded human beings are?   The answer is dreams – we all dream, and while we’re dreaming, we usually buy into that reality. Then we wake up and we’re confronted with a contradictory reality.   But despite the fact that we experience this delusion every morning, we go through the...

We live in a state of delusional acceptance. We accept that reality is the way we believe it is, in spite of a universal, daily experience that directly contradicts that assumption.   What is that experience? Let’s figure it out together – and on the way, we’ll learn how we can use this knowledge to become more accountable to reality as it really is.   This four part series is an excerpt from the...