Malt Couture

Alex gives Stephen and Michael a Smooj and they are instantly hooked. Boy, do they love Smooj. It would be real cool if people sent them some more Smooj. If you have access to Smooj, maybe Stephen and Michael will trade you some rare beers from their linen closet for said Smooj. Doesn't matter which flavor, any Smooj will do. Just send them Smooj. Please, send Smooj. They need Smooj. Head to our P...

Once again, the Malty Boyz ™ sell out as they pour barrel-aged Chicago shelf turds down their gullets but this year they get to do it with the entire Goose Island 2020 Boubon Country line up. See if their prediction from "Goose It or Loose It" ring true or if their expectations and palates have changed since. teespring.com/maltcoutureofficialshirt Head to our Patreon for weekly exclusive content!...

Sometimes fights happen around the Thanksgiving table and this year The Malty Boyz ™ have put together a throwdown of epic proportions as four hazelnut beers duke it out in a cagematch brawl to see who is the supreme NUTSMASHER! In Beer News, Bud Light gets in on the console wars, haze tech levels up, and Malt Couture dabbles in true crime podcasting. Head to our Patreon for weekly exclusive conte...

After months on the waiting list The Malty Boyz ™ finally get to tick beer made for dogs. Ok, more like bone broth packaged in a beer cans but still... BEER MADE FOR DOGS! In the Beer News, a puppy contest gets cancelled and Hill Farmstead raises money for a college that makes Stephen want to go back to school. Michael applies knowledge obtained while getting his degree from Yale. Alex brings in a...

What does a line producer do, you ask? Line producers manage the budget of a motion picture and day-to-day physical aspects of the film production. So now you know that. In the Beer News, Hoppy Floppy is embroiled in a Triple C (Costume Contest Controversy) and Shelton Brothers is forced to file for bankruptcy. Michael's patriotism makes Alex and Stephen sad. The Malty Boyz ™ take a six hour tour....

Alex doesn't care about Michael's feelings when he brings in a barleywine and a Flander's red. Michael doesn't care about Alex's feelings when he tries to flip a BBT and puts a price on Diddy. Stephen brings in a beer as voted on by the Patreon and momentarily struggles with going back to being an authoritarian. Jason Statham won't stop reminding everyone that he's almost six feet tall. Head to ou...

Show your feet, give me something pastry to drink. For this year's annual Halloween episode The Malty Boyz ™ bend the knee for the pastryarchy for a pastry themed Bottleshare. Before they get to that, Alex brings in a treat in the form of Side Project's ode to Gabe Fletcher. In the Beer News, $100 six-packs of lager produced by Napa wine wunderkind are consumed while discussing artisanal fireworks...

The Jevne juice is flowing as The Malty Boyz ™ drink a V.S.O.A. from Forager Brewery as voted on by the listeners. Then it's Follow Up Madness in the Beer News as they check in on The Jester King Protestor as she sets her sights on another Texas brewery, Green Flash and Alpine Beer Company come full circle, Goose Island break from Black Friday traditions, and the Bernie Brewer chalet is now the fo...

Say, man, you got some rye? It'd be a lot cooler if you did. That's what I love about these Sazerac Rye 18-Year-Old Buffalo Trace Antique Collection bottles , man. I get older, they stay the same age. Let me tell you what these ryes are packin' right here, all right. We got 100% rye grain, uncut Old Potrero, single barrel, 124 proof, some Rittenhouse bottled-in-bond, straight rye, and baby Saz. We...

Scab-a-de-doo-ba-ba Revolution Brewing Sanctuary 13 da-ba-dee-doo-skt-skt Lakefront Brewery Beer Line Barley Wine duh-doo-bum-bum-bum-jibbidy- bap Planters collab with Natural Light doobie-biddy-doo Wolverine boots collab with Pappy Van Winkle zabba-dee-doo Rodenbach bap-bapbadap-bapdadap Spencer Brewery Trappist beer dabba-dee-doo-ziggidy-zop... go vote, don't do heroin. Head to our Patreon for w...

Make sure your vapes are fully charged for this batch. You're going to stan so hard for all the crispy boys the Malty Boyz™ put down that you'll be dabbing for a week, king! Pass the cans of Wayfinder Beer, Burial Brewing, Tired Hands, and Three Weavers and let me get my crisp on, brah! The Beer News has, like, lawsuits, macro shit, and soft drug use...pssh, whatevs. CRISPY BOYS 4 LIFE! Head to ou...

If you give Craft Beer Kevin a smooch he'll ask for a whole orgy slathered in generic ranch dressing. This is the tale of Alex when he unboxed Modern Times' newest boxed set of barrel-aged beers. He also brings in some old money oxi juice. Michael goes full tourist. Stephen returns to the discount rack. In the Beer News, Jester King gets accused of being Satanist, Red Lobster teams up with Mountai...

The Malty Boyz™ become The Malty Yinzerz™ in this Pennsylvania episode! Drinking beers from PA breweries that haven't been featured on the show before, The Malty Yinzerz™ put their sweet lips on beers from Yuengling, Human Robot Brewery, Bullfrog Brewery, and Selin's Grove Brewing. In the Beer News, Fair State Co-op recognizes their employee union, pool parties draw the wrong type of attention, St...

Alex orders a half-decade old Xyauyù barleywine from Italy brewed with tobacco. Was it worth the price and wait? Michael makes the homer pick with a tasty treat from Highland Park Brewing. Stephen talks about his serendipity meet cute moment but with his bottle share beer. In the Beer News, union busting, NASCAR champion Michael Waltrip opens a brewery, and Michael discusses his fantasy football d...

The Malty Boyz ™ take a sneak peak at what Brad Clark's newest project, Private Press, is offering. Then they open up some St. Louis juice from regular ol' Perennial Artisan Ales. MA! Big Jim has the keys to the Expresso and is driving and rampaging all over the Beer News! He's looking through his old Hamm's receipts, buying beer for dogs, and trying to put out fires with Bud Light! Head to our Pa...

It's been 36 weeks since the last Barley Battle and the responsibility to make the malty sacrifices to Lord Maris were left in Michael's hands. Now his smooth, soft hands are covered in sticky, barrel-aged repentance! And boy did he repent as Michael brings in some bangers for this special Barleywine is Life episode. In the Beer News, Alex finally forks over a whole dollar to read a Wall Street Jo...

Alex brings in some fabled classics from Ithaca Beer Company and Cigar City Brewing. In the Beer News, a Canadian brewery gets lost in translation and Creature Comforts set their sights on Los Angeles. Alex puts Stephen and Michael through a round of Goose It or Loose It with the 2020 Goose Island Bourbon County line-up. The Malty Boyz™ also announce they're going to Hersey Park... someday. Head t...

Rounding out this Beers of Fame trilogy, the Malty Boyz™ head to the United Kingdom to learn about the "real ale" movement, cookie cutter pubs, drinking laws in Ireland, and horses. The Beer News follows up on Side Project's anti-counterfeit measures, the new face of mustard beer, and more Stone drama. Plus, Topo Chico gets into the hard seltzer game and Michael expresses his feelings about cask b...

  Next stop for this old money train, the Malty Boyz™ head to Germany to drink more classics from the Beer Advocate Beers of Fame list. In this episode they tick Weihenstephan Hefe, Schenider Weiess Edelweiss, Ayinger Brauweiss, and Samichlaus Classic. In the Beer News, Stone founder Greg Koch claps back, beer gets brewed using mustard, and a retirement home starts homebrewing. Head to our Patreon...

Take a trip down old money lane as The Malty Boyz™ revisit BeerAdvocate's Beers of Fame list starting with Belgian beers. In this episode they tick Saison Dupont, Westmalle, Piraat, and Trappist Achel. In the Beer News, BeerAdvocate gets hacked, Stone sues everyone, and Stephen realizes he hasn't had a proper meal in months. Head to our Patreon for weekly exclusive content! Patreon.com/DontDrinkBe...

What happEns when Gabe Fletcher releases his first pAstry stout? Why is Tavour hiring lizard people to create Untappd accounTs? Who's mAking all these fruited Berliner cans explode? Who's causing COVID to jump state lines? Why are these labels upSide down? What caused a "lapse in judgement" in Connecticut? Put on your tin foil hat and liSten to The Malty Boyz ™ try to make sense of it all. Head to...

There were adjuncts in any direction, at any release. If not across the Everglades, then up the Pacific Northwest or down the Mighty Mississippi to Decorah or St. Louis... you could strike waxed bottles anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were drinking was right, that we were winning. There they go. Three of Lord Maris' own prototypes. High-powered mutants of some kind...

In this batch, Michael and Stephen reveal that being in the LA comedy scene is a detriment to finding romantic relationships. Don't cringe for them as they have already cringed a thousand tears into their dakimakuras. In Beer News, someone's counterfeiting Side Project beers, Constellation Brands Ventures invest 10% of what they paid for Ballast Point into minority owned breweries, and a 113-year-...

In this episode, The Malty Boyz ™ drink a beer named after Mister Maraschino, Michael brings in a California classic IPA, Stephen brings in a beer from a New England brewery based in Maine, Alex brings in barrel-aged new money beer from an old money brewery, and all of them are mad about systematic racism. Is this the new normal for the The Malty Boyz™? I dunno, do triple IPAs turn into barleywine...

On this very special two-year anniversary episode The Malty Boyz ™ sought out 13 of the best Hazy IPAs and threw them into a Malt Madness tournament to see who would emerge as the first ever Hazy Cup Champion! Representing the Hollandaise Conference are Bissell Brothers, Monkish, Narrow Gauge, Tree House, Trillium, and Weldworks! Representing the Sunny D Conference are Great Notion, Hill Farmstead...