Malt Couture

Each of the Malty Boyz ™ bring in two maple treats that will battle it out in a too sweet cagematch before being thrown into the never disputed Power Rankings. Who will reign atop the sticky mountain of tapped sap? Before getting into the Bottle Share, Michael leads Alex and Stephen in a game of "Beer or Maple Syrup Review?"  In the Beer News, pickle drama in Texas, Untappd pettiness from More Bre...

Fresh out the linen closet, it's a special bonus Malt-terrogation with Paul Arney, owner and head brewer of The Ale Apothecary! He gives perhaps the most unique answer to "If money was no issue what's the next piece of non-essential brewing equipment you'd buy?" but for a brewer that uses hollowed out spruce trees as lauter tuns the answer should be that surprising. For more Malt-terrogations and...

Hop in the Malty Cruiser and head straight to the orchards because this week it's a New Glarus bang-bang when the Patreon votes to have the highest rated fruit beer according to RateBeer.com to kick off the show. Then Stephen brings in a New Glarus brew for the Bottleshare while Alex goes the ol' barleywine route and Michael goes the ol' homer Ohio route. In the Beer News, a Boston Dynamics dog ha...

The Malty Boyz™ drink one of the highest rated beers they've ever had on the show. Almost impossible to aquire, one reviewer shouts, "JUST MAKE ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE YOU JERKS!" Yeah, why don't they just make enough for everyone? In the Beer News, the Seltzer Wars have begun as Imprint Beer sues Smooj over trademark infringement. Michael is a homer for Crispi Bois from Ohio while Stephen struggles w...

21 beers will enter the Peanut Butter Cup Tournament of DOOOOOOM but only one will emerge the Peanut Butter Cup Champion! 15 beers have been seeded according to their Untappd scores which include Phase Three, Weldworks, Angry Chair, Mast Landing, Narrow Gauge, Modern Times, Horus, Good Word, Bottle Logic, Wiley Roots, Broken Strings, Aslin, Casa Agria, Other Half, 3 Sons, Barreled Souls, Alverium,...

This ain't no flyover episode as the Malty Boyz™ make a trip into the heartland of America. First stop is Nebraska with an offering from Kros Strain Brewing and they pair it with the amazing and delicious Runza. Are these Runzas little pockets of joy or an abomination waiting to happen? Then they head over to Kansas for a barleywine from Free State Brewing that Alex use to drink 2 liters at a time...

Straight from our malty cellar and into your eardrums it's a bonus episode of our Malt-terrogation with Narragansett Beer head brewer Lee Lord! Hear tales of her humble beginnings at Watch City Brewing to now brewing Michael's favorite beer. Who said Rhode Island is a beer desert? For more Malt-terrogations and weekly bonus content head over to our Patreon at Patreon.com/DontDrinkBeer DontDrinkBee...

Patrick Stewart, Vin Diesel, Agent 47 from the video game Hitman, what do they all have in common? They're all bald. In this batch, the Malty Boyz™ take a stroll down Hollywood Blvd. and go literally inside the actors studio to see what drives these chrome domed characters. In the Beer News, Playstation releases a beer brewing game that no one has been asking for, Worst Beer Blog calls it a career...

Every week Alex labors over writing an elaborate script with jokes and runners and callbacks. It takes hours and hours of work that includes rehearsal reads, rewrites, punch ups, and last minute edits. The end result is a 90-120 page script. So what happens when Michael decides to use his improv skills to go off-script? Are the results funnier than what's on the page? In the Bottleshare, J. Wakefi...

The Malty Boyz™ dive deep into their own psyches in search of purpose and meaning. What will this recording session reveal about their inner being? What suppressed desires will arise? Will they ever leave the cave of dancing hype releases and return to the old money bottles of yore? In the Beer News it's follow up galore as what's old is new again in 2021 but the shitlording remains the same when...

West Virginia updates perfectly fine beer laws with more stupid beer laws and Stephen talks to some locals to get to the bottom of what happened. He learns about the real estate market, how hauntings increase curb appeal, then heads to the bar to tap a keg of Westvleteren 12. Ballast Point makes the 2-door sedan of beers: clear hazy IPA. Alex brings in the new and old money beers from PA. Michael...

Four vanilla giants fight to the death in this Vanilla Showdown featuring barrel-aged beers from Anchorage Brewing Company, Moksa Brewing Co., Aslin Beer Co., and Modern Times. Who will reign supreme when the beans settle? In the Beer News, Live Oak defies Texas maskless orders and the comment section goes off, Platform Beer employees stage a walk out, Deschutes buys Boneyard Beer Co., and another...

Overnight your beers from Japan because you're granny sipping, not double-chugging like you should. I SAID A TEN HOUR BOIL, NOT A TEN MINUTE BOIL! On this episode, the Malty Boyz ™ don't have friends, they have family. They check in on Del Hall's annual beer Lent before they go diving for shipwrecked beers. Alex takes a chance on two beers. Michael goes the pilly route. Stephen discovers AnimeBeer...

Alex discusses his time representing Red Robin after a judge takes some creative liberties when reading their decision about Stella Artois glasses being 2oz short of a pint. In other Beer News, a brewery and health inspector get their signals crossed in a time of Covid. Alex brings in a barleywine from Australia brewed by Indian Ocean Brewing Company and then a eisbock collab between Little Beast...

With Mercury in retrograde, the Malty Boyz™ attempt to keep exceptional vibes during a trying time. Alex brings in a master work from master Cicerone Avery Swanson's new brewery Keeping Together Brewing. In the Bottle Share, Michael goes the homer route with a FOBAB gold medal winning beer from Wolf's Ridge Brewing while Alex and Stephen cruise the vistas of Wisconsin with an Untitled Art barleywi...

Jigglypuff returns after exile in the grasslands to give the Malty Boyz ™ a life update. Former Small Batch guest and marketing executive Mike Costello gives us insight on Budweiser's Super Bowl commercial shenanigans. An aluminum can shortage temporarily 86's certain can formats. Rey Misterio Jr. is now the face (mask?) of Victoria Beer. Alex shows of his diamond hands when he holds BRAAAAAM from...

In this episode, The Malty Boyz ™ have unearthed an actual audio recording of the meeting that turned Alex's life around. In the Beer News, they discuss the recent scandal involving Boulevard Brewing then check in with Craft Beer Kevin to hear his thoughts about the announcement of a Brew Dog restaurant opening up in Las Vegas. In the Bottleshare, Alex drops his crown when he busts out some crispy...

The Malty Boyz ™ are taking a closer look at breweries exporting hype and adjuncts during the Bottleshare. In the Beer News they discuss Hamm's latest marketing gimmick, Jim Beam stirs up repressed bartending memories for Alex and Michael, and not one but two logo related stories! TeeSpring.com/MaltCoutureOfficialShirt Head to our Patreon for weekly exclusive content! Patreon.com/DontDrinkBeer Don...

After a bout with COVID, Michael returns to LA and rejoins the podcast. Still suffering from the effects of COVID, he remained isolated and provided his own non-alcoholic beverages. Meanwhile, Alex brings in a bloody delightful offering from OEC followed by a final boss barleywine from Wren House and Stephen digs deep into his linen closet for a collab between Kane Brewing and Horus Aged Ales. In...

2021 is off to... a start. Alex reveals a surprise. Michael reveals he caught COVID-19 and is quarantining in Ohio. Alex brings in an OG San Diego whale and a new money hype stout while Stephen tests ol' DDB's palate. In the Beer News, some old dumb beer laws get updated with slightly less (more?) stupid beer laws. Wear your mask, wash your hands, remember to social distance, and take care of each...

2020 is over and the Malty Boyz ™ are looking at 2021 through rosé tinted glasses. Why? Because it's fun! Knowing nothing about rosé the boyz turn to what they know best, Pop Culture, and drink rosés from Post Malone, Dwayne Wade, and, the couple formally known as Bradgelina, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. They enlist the help of ESPN Senior NBA Writer Baxter Holmes, sommelier and Decanter contribu...

A batch a decade in the making featuring only eised beers. Multiple extinction ticks go down as Alex hunts down Hair of the Dog Dave directly from Alan Sprints, Samuel Adams Millenium, Southampton Double Ice Bock, and BrewDog Tactical Nuclear Penguin. The Malty Boyz™ close out the year in style with all these devastating beers for your listening pleasure. Will they ever recover? Will they continue...

It's been a decade of miserly ol' Alex scrooging the craft beer world unchecked but on this Beersmas Eve he'll finally atone for his DontDrinkBeer sins. The Spirits of Beersmas take Alex on an eye opening, bottle popping ride through his past, super past, present, and future. Does this experience leave Alex a kinder, more understanding Malt Maven? And will the Malty Boyz™ ever learn the intern's n...

The Malty Boyz ™ can't really talk about it because they're on a secret mission but Alex brings in a redemption beer that's a collaboration between Perennial Artisan Ales and WeldWerks Brewing Co. Then the Boyz ™ drink the most recent batch of Alpine Great and Stephen's triple IPA theory rings true, but don't tell anyone. Intel says Goose Island hid Easter Eggs on Black Friday. Keep your mouth shu...

Michael comes face-to-face with the Mandela Effect when he's confronted with how to correctly spell Malty Boyz ™, the Berenstain Bears , what beers Great Lakes Brewing Company makes, and how Patreon works. Alex brings in one of the Four Horsemen of the Flanders Apocalypse. Stephen goes the discount rack route for a $1000 Side Project pie experience to less-than-ideal results. Plus, what happens wh...