Make Your Damn Bed

Four Steps to Help People Feel Listened To: H = Hedge your claims , even when you feel very certain about your beliefs. It signals a recognition that there are some cases or some people who might support your opponent’s perspective. E = Emphasize agreement . Find some common ground even when you disagree on a particular topic. This does not mean compromising or changing your mind, but rather recog...

Grief isn’t linear.  Grief doesn't happen in stages.  Grief is chaotic.  Grief convinces you that it’s all encompassing.  There’s no right or wrong way to grieve (aside from the obvious).  Be gentle with yourself.  I’m not asking you to pretend it doesn't exist, but I am asking you to endure it.  It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be different, but it will be o...

I recently received a request for resources on grief and loss , and I’ve collected a lot over the years because I’ve never been the most efficient at dealing with my grief; and although I don’t think grief is something that ever fully goes away, I do know from experience (and the wisdom that comes from it) - that it won’t always be unbearable. Today I share some science from Mary Frances O'Co...

 I recently received a request for resources on grief and loss , and I’ve collected a lot over the years because I’ve never been the most efficient at dealing with my grief; and although I don’t think grief is something that ever fully goes away, I do know from experience (and the wisdom that comes from it) - that it won’t always be unbearable. Today I share some science from Mary France...

 I recently received a request for resources on grief and loss , and I’ve collected a lot over the years because I’ve never been the most efficient at dealing with my grief; and although I don’t think grief is something that ever fully goes away, I do know from experience (and the wisdom that comes from it) - that it won’t always be unbearable. Today I share some science from Mary France...

In 1998, Psychologist Roy Baumeister conducted a foundational study that showed decision-making depletes cognitive resources, much like physical exertion depletes muscles. Baumeister’s studies found that decision fatigue leads to impulsive choices (gravitating toward immediate rewards or default options) or avoidance of decision-making (procrastination or refusal to choose). For example, judges in...

Years ago, when I was grieving the loss of a very serious break up, I was explaining to a friend that the grief was really intense not only because I was grieving a loss of this, but I was also grieving the loss of who I was going to be with that person, and I think about this a lot, the anxiety of all of the un lived lives. I’ll never get the unknown of all of the paths I didn’t and couldn’t take...

Today we revisit an episode from March 2023: what does survival mode look like for you? how can we get out of the patterns that put us into our default mode? we've all experienced stress, but when stress is prolonged - we can forget how to relax. Mindfulness, patience, compassion, and practice can help us escape that constant vigilance and return to a state of calm. DISASTER ASSISTANCE FOR THOSE W...

Today we revisit an episode from March 2023: Every single one of us has experienced some level of trauma. We're only capable of acting and responding at the level we're internally ready for. Practicing mercy + empathy can really help us to be more patient with strangers. DISASTER ASSISTANCE FOR THOSE WITH DISABILITIES: https://www.disasterassistance.gov/information/people-with-disabilities DISASTE...

Life sometimes feels like a constant battle between fighting burnout and fighting tapping out. The middle path between burnout and disassociation isn’t about perfection. It’s about giving yourself permission to rest without checking out, and working without burning out. It’s not an easy balance, but it’s one worth striving for. Some days will be meant for rotting, some days will be meant for grind...

Feeling like you can’t do everything doesn’t mean you can’t do something . So, when things feel heavy, when the weight of the world feels like it’s sitting on your chest, I want you to take a breath and remember that no act of kindness, no matter how small, is wasted . DISASTER ASSISTANCE FOR THOSE WITH DISABILITIES: https://www.disasterassistance.gov/information/people-with-disabilities DISASTER...

" In effect we are saying the end is not as important as the means, we are turning hundreds of years of political form and content on its head by putting the means before the ends, by putting context in front of ideology, by rejecting purity and perfection." - Rebecca Solnit BUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/v...

"What could have happened if we could have spoken directly to the people in that wave, if we could have found common ground, if we could have made our position neither right nor left but truly grassroots? What would have happened if we had given them an alternate version of how local power was being sapped, by whom, and what they might do about it? We need them, we need a broad base, we need a sty...

"Paradise is not the place in which you arrive but the journey toward it. Sometimes I think victories must be temporary or incomplete; what kind of humanity would survive paradise? The United States has tried to approximate paradise in its suburbias, with luxe, calme, volupte, culde-sacs, cable television and two-car garages, and it has produced a soft ennui that shades over into despair and a dec...

"After all, most environmental victories look like nothing happened; the land wasn’t annexed by the army, the mine didn’t open, the road didn’t cut through, the factory didn’t spew effluents that didn’t give children asthma. They are triumphs invisible except through storytelling." - Rebecca Solnit BUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://...

"It’s always too soon to go home. Most of the great victories continue to unfold, unfinished in the sense that they are not yet fully realized, but also in the sense that they continue to spread influence." - Rebecca Solnit BUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaari/files/2018/06/Solnit_Hope_in_the_dark.pdf THE A...

changing the world is not one with a tidy end goal that we will one day reach. it is an ever changing process that means we will always be working with it. and everything counts. no strategy is too small, as it often surprises us what actually makes change stick. the complexities are undeniable, but the straightforward knowing of what is right vs. what is wrong isn't complicated. we simply need to...

there is power in active hope. despair can even be liberatory if we can learn not to be consumed by it. despair can turn us away from the deprivation that comes from refusing to seek out alternatives. if nothing else, please don't get attached to negative outcomes - even if they feel like the most realistic potential. hope should never been confined to certain limits. BUY THE BOOK: https://www.hay...

We often mistake unknowability for dread. We sometimes forget that darkness can be a place for rebirth and hope, not just fear and hopelessness. Today, I'm reading from Rebecca Solnit's essay/book "Hope in the Dark". BUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaari/files/2018/06/Solnit_Hope_in_the_dark.pdf THE AUTHOR:...

Today is part four of our "how to take action towards the climate crisis" and we're talking about what type of action needs to be taken. Remember: It's not too late. Every action counts. But don't get overwhelmed with doing everything. Instead, choose something + act. Every little bit helps. THE GUIDEBOOK: https://www.nottoolateclimate.com/_files/ugd/c8ef46_65f7332b00de468aa7091e31a4b2f772.pdf THE...

Today is part three of our "how to take action towards the climate crisis" and we're talking about what type of action needs to be taken. Remember: It's not too late. Every action counts. But don't get overwhelmed with doing everything. Instead, choose something + act. Every little bit helps. THE GUIDEBOOK: https://www.nottoolateclimate.com/_files/ugd/c8ef46_65f7332b00de468aa7091e31a4b2f772.pdf TH...

Today is part two of our "how to take action towards the climate crisis" and we're talking about choosing a group. Remember: It's not too late. Every action counts. But don't get overwhelmed with doing everything. Instead, choose something + act. Every little bit helps. THE GUIDEBOOK: https://www.nottoolateclimate.com/_files/ugd/c8ef46_65f7332b00de468aa7091e31a4b2f772.pdf THE AUTHOR: http://rebecc...

Some of us struggle with a lack of intimacy, some of us struggle with severe codependency, but what is the balance? A healthy interdependency is essential to building self-worth within a relationship. RESOURCE: https://www.impossiblepsychservices.com.sg/our-resources/articles/2023/07/19/the-importance-of-interdependence-for-a-healthy-relationship AND: https://www.impossiblepsychservices.com.sg/our...

The need for validation is normal. But, like most things in life, it’s really all about balance. Listen, some degree of attention and validation seeking makes perfect sense to me. From an evolutionary standpoint, it makes sense that we’d seek out external validation because it helps us to feel more secure in social settings and I dunno if you know this, but humans are inherently social creatures a...

just because you became an adult doesn't mean you have to be serious all the time. here's how you can infuse more silliness in your everyday: intentionality RESOURCES: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/126e9by/i_feel_weighed_down_by_how_serious_life_can_be/ AND https://clementinefraser.wordpress.com/2018/01/29/silly-play-all-day-how-silliness-helps-you-adult/ DONATE: www.pcrf.net Ge...