Lyrics To Go

Seth basks in the glory of country music and Marc sits idly by as they dissect the lyrics to the predatory That Summer by Garth Brooks. Listen to the tale of Ol' Leatherhands and what she does to a teenage boy.

Seth and Marc need 10cc's of medical knowledge given to Bon Jovi STAT! The guys try to figure out what makes medicine "bad," why no one else is able to help the narrator, and discuss fake endings.

Marc and Seth invite guest and dear friend Mike to look through the unrecommended-history-laden lyrics of High Hopes by Panic! At The Disco. What's worse: Making people who never made it feel like absolute trash or bringing up Manifest Destiny? Special Guest: Mike Cosden.

The guys dismantle a song that was described as "unintelligible" by one critic; Hanson's breakaway single Mmmbop. A mixture of "did you know" and "these lyrics were written by teenagers," we discuss how good they sound now and the possibilities of knowing which flowers you're planting.

Marc and Seth work through Kelly Clarkson's single "My Life Would Suck Without You," her self-professed "anti-boy-bashing song." The thing is if there was ever a time for her to bash a guy, it would be now. Don't sell yourself out, Kelly!

The guys dig deep into the high school poetry that makes up the lyrics of 7 Mary 3's hit Cumbersome. Overflowing with self-reference and Eddie Vedder's impressions, this song will make it so you don't know if you're coming or going. Oh yeah, no. Yeah yeah, no no. Yeah. No.

Seth and Marc talk Hall & Oates with their cover of the Mike Oldfield-penned Family Man. A sex worker propositions a man who rebuffs her advances while also telling her that if she keeps asking, he might say yes. Who is in the wrong here and does he give in?

Seth and Marc revisit a band they haven't talked about since episode 3... Starship's "We Built This City." Highly regarded as one of the worst songs of the 80's by some publications and one of the worst songs ever by others, where do the guys think it stack

Marc and Seth read off the litany of prerequisites to be Bonnie Tyler's titular hero in Holding Out For A Hero and feel bad about themselves. Also, why does she need someone who is fresh from a fight? What is she not telling us? And what does this have to do with Footloose?!

The dudes look at the lyrics to King Harvest's twinkly version of Dancing In The Moonlight. However, it's the story behind the song that is the much bigger reveal here.

Seth and Marc unfurl the lyrics to The Crickets' (by the way of Buddy Holly) hit That'll Be The Day. Does it surprise us that this song is filled with a litany of different kinds of mental manipulation? No, not at all. Are we going to still cover it? Absolutely.

Seth and Marc invite past guest Jamie on to discuss the lyrics to Shaggy's reggae-ish gaslighting anthem "It Wasn't Me." Lots of questions on this one.... about how him getting busted went down, whether or not he truly wanted to be caught, or if Shaggy really exists at all.... Special Guest: Jamie Carmichael.

This week, the dudes go through the koRn hit A.D.I.D.A.S. (All Day I Dream About Sex). This song is so bad that it pushed guitarist "Head" to quit the band to find Christ.

Marc and Seth dig into the dark story behind the Sarah McLaughlin's breakout hit Possession. One of those cases of a song that people use in their wedding but the truth behind it has much sadder, and creepier, roots.

Seth and Marc look into the history of the Toby Keith song Courtesy Of The Red, White, And Blue and, of course, the lyrics themselves. Written like a 14-year-old horny for America, Toby calls for the assistance of the Statue of Liberty, Uncle Sam, and an Eagle to name a few while also referring to America as a mean dog. I feel more patriotic already.

Seth and Marc wrap up their trip around the continents with the Men At Work b-side Down Under. There are undoubtedly loads of strange lyrics here but the guys get a little surprise when sorting through them and the music video.

Seth and Marc continue their continent tour with America's A Horse With No Name. This song was banned in some American stations due to possible drug references but it should've been banned for something much worse... dumb fucking words.

Seth and Marc are at opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to Asia's Heat Of The Moment. Seth thinks this song is a beautiful song about a man who made a mistake and is baring his soul for the world to see. Marc thinks it's a guy who is trying to convince a woman who was hurt by him messing up by focusing on when things were good and then by manipulating with scare tactics. Was anyone swayed...

Seth and Marc blast off into outer space with Europe to work out the lyrics to The Final Countdown. A song that is apparently about deciding to move from an Earth that is no longer inhabitable to another planet that has the densest atmosphere in our galaxy and over 167 volcanoes. Doesn't sound like we really thought this out, does it?

Marc and Seth get the Led out with the b-side to the shrill Immigrant Song; Hey Hey, What Can I Do?. Not a single, but still received tons of airplay. We get a little naive incel action with this one where the narrator at least has the wherewithall to leave the woman alone. But we're setting the bar a little low...

Seth and Marc peel apart a hit from across The Pond with JLS's Beat Again.. In hopes that they can coax someone into a relationship because the narrator(s) might die from NotHavingGirlfriend-itis, they combine their voices into one mono-tonal hellscape while wallowing in self-pity. Tragic.

The guys are joined by friends Tim and Joee to discuss what makes country "country" and also to talk about the Luke Bryan pro-flood song Rain Is A Good Thing. Nothing beats complaining about how dry it is and then taking about getting the fuck out of dodge when it rains and also about how the main positives to rain are having a horny girlfriend and fucking under a loud tin roof. Got it. Special Gu...

Ho ho ho! The guys take on a Christmas classic with the unrelenting Jingle Bell Rock. What does it mean? Why can the jingle hop not begin until there is a snowstorm? What the hell is going one with these jingling feet? Hell if we know...

Hoo hoo! Seth and Marc read through the most boring and useless story possibly ever told; Take The Money and Run by Steve Miller Band. Though they can't deny how catchy the song is, the lyrics tell a tale that, in the end, is insane and was over before it began.

Seth and Marc return to The Offspring to dip into their hit song Want You Bad. Have you ever found yourself in a relationship with someone who is too nice? So you write a song about how you wish they would completely change who they are, get tattoos, and start treating you bad? Me neither.