Lumps & Humps - The Audio Files

A “peanut butter and jelly” at 3:45am, a body that’s starving, and a complete rewrite of what nutrition means. This episode is about breaking every rule you’ve ever followed around food—and accepting that right now, the goal isn’t to feel good. It’s to survive.

Fascia, scar tissue, and the most boring exercises that matter the most. This episode is about surgical rehab, why starting early changes everything, and what it really looks like to get 1% better when your body feels completely wrecked.

“But you’re so young—why do you have cancer?” It’s the question everyone asks—and one that doesn’t have a satisfying answer. This episode kicks off a new series exploring the theories, the data, the conspiracy theories, and the uncomfortable truth: sometimes, it’s just bad luck.

Everyone has a plan until you get punched in the face. This episode walks through my first week of chemo—seven-hour infusions, rookie mistakes, nausea that took me out, and the moment I realized: this is the battlefield now.

On ports, toddler diets, and feeling 7/10.

A song in the operating room. A text sent from recovery. And the story of an unlikely friend who made it possible to believe—if only for a moment—that everything was going to be okay.

What actually happens on chemo day—and what can go wrong. From infusion logistics to side effects (hello, cold sensitivity and neuropathy), this episode breaks down the reality of Herceptin + FOLFOX, risk mitigation, and what it means to be very prepared for something you can’t fully control. Part education, part dark humor, and part surrender to the unknown.

I didn’t get the job. After years of leading, building, fundraising, and surviving high-stakes chaos. This episode is about corporate-feeling interviews, missed opportunities, and the darkly funny realization that I’m currently managing the biggest “project” of my life: two cancers. At the same time.

My symptoms got worse this week—the worst they’ve been. More blood loss, more pain, more fatigue. A tumor making itself known. At the same time: a chemo port, an expander fill, anemia, a diet I hate, and the ongoing reality of two cancers actively working against each other in my body. This episode is about what it looks like when “health gets in the way of health,” when every solution creates a n...

On budgets, lease renewals, and going bra-free.

Two cancers. One treatment plan. This episode walks through how a Stage 1 HER2+ breast cancer and a Stage 3 rectal cancer get treated at the same time—mastectomy, lymph nodes, chemo “cocktails,” and the logistics of coordinating two oncology teams into one plan. It’s part medical breakdown, part real-time processing—and a look at what it means to navigate survival when every decision is layered, c...

Surgical drain removal day. Relief, grief—and the first small step forward.

The importance of routine screening, knowing your body, and advocating for yourself.

A poem about living.

How I'm covered, what's not covered, and how freakin' grateful I am.

On taxes, dog walks, and boob-talk with guy-friends.

One surgery down. Several more to go. Here's what the road ahead looks like.

On insurance, lives moving forward, and bodily changes.

Mastectomy, post-op week one. I thought this would be the easy part.

Hi, I’m Alli. One year after my divorce, I was diagnosed with two cancers in six weeks—Stage 1 HER2+ breast cancer and Stage 3 colorectal cancer. I’m 44. Until now, my health history was deliciously boring. And now I have cancer. Two cancers. Which is… insane. So I started writing. I laid it all down in a blog: grief, logistics, relationships, the body, mindset, science, survival—at lumpsandhumps....