Lucidesse - Inspiring Strokes of Genius

I have often told myself, during difficult times, that I hope to help others who may find themselves in such difficulty. Today I had a direct request for advice on how to navigate a rape trial. Not that I know the answer, nor that there is one, but since I tried, in my own way, perhaps sharing what I learned can help another. 

My initial doorway of learning was pain. Just the one. It was the only way to get my attention. I’ve since learned there are many other doorways available, if I pay attention. And yet, sometimes pan is still the way to deepest learning. So how do I learn from pain?

GREED! We finally get to meet Greed! This is a story about the Seven Deadly Sins, and the Eighth who rules them. We have Wrath, Greed, Pride, Envy, Sloth, Gluttony, and Lust. But don't forget the Eighth Temptation, Sorrow. Perhaps she is the most powerful. After the Mother's of course, Destiny and Desire. But they are shadowed by their own Mother, Darkness. And she too is shadowed by her...

Two, 12-minute-timed, impromptu, short stories from a dinner party -- and what they taught me. Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou. A quote by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, which I can't quite recall. The two writings are very distinct, one is the joyful part of my soul, the other is a deeper, contemplative part of my soul, shining light on things I haven't yet seen or understood.  

Do I take how others feel personally? Do I let their opinions define me? Especially when they all feel so differently about me! Who is correct about me? Anyone? Maybe not even me 😆 And when I take it personally, how does that affect my ability to care. Truly care. 💛 Is there a way for me to care without getting involved with their opinions?

A story about the Seven Deadly Sins, and the Eighth who rules them. We have Wrath, Greed, Pride, Envy, Sloth, Gluttony, and Lust. But don't forget the Eighth Temptation, Sorrow. Perhaps she is the most powerful. After the Mother's of course, Destiny and Desire. But they are shadowed by their own Mother, Darkness. And she too is shadowed by her parents, Time and Space. Yet, who are their...

A story about the Seven Deadly Sins, and the Eighth who rules them. We have Wrath, Greed, Pride, Envy, Sloth, Gluttony, and Lust. But don't forget the Eighth Temptation, Sorrow. Perhaps she is the most powerful. After the Mother's of course, Destiny and Desire. But they are shadowed by their own Mother, Darkness. And she too is shadowed by her parents, Time and Space. Yet, who are their...

I share an oracle I did through yi jing (i-ching) and how it showed me that the decision I made was correct. This is helpful for me in remembering my definition of community, connection, communication, is not the same as others. And that when true resonance--for me--is not found though proximity, but through the strength of integrity and authenticity. I also touch upon the sacredness of our inner...

I bumble through my change in therapy styles, therapists, un-armor-ing myself, and the impossible task of understanding oneself AND another person! I also share the beloved quote: I walk slowly into myself, through a forest of empty suits of armor. ~ Tomas Transtromer

Long ago, I began to say the words heard, held, honored.  I liked the way they sounded, and they felt good, but I wasn’t  sure what they were all about. Recently, as I’ve been having conversations centered around conflict, I began to understand that what I wanted most is to be heard, held, honored. I don’t  care about being right. I have no need to convince anyone of anything. So, the next time yo...

I realize I can no longer fix myself for anyone else. Issues other people have with me are beyond my ability to fix. Or at least I no longer have the desire or the energy or the interest in trying to fix those issues for other people. So I’m now relying on my desire to fix things for myself. Just for me. So that things inside this house I call me are as pleasant as they can be.

A story about being human, and all the temptations, all the ways we succeed, all the ways we fail, all the ways we learn, and don't. It's about a world within a world, and realms beyond our imagination, except they exist. So, why not take a look and see what there is to see. 

This is the second chapter in my novel about The Eight Temptations, which evolved into what we now call The Seven Deadly Sins. But this is so much more than these powerful characters, in fact, they are not even the major players!

I began a new eating habit while at my ten day meditation retreat BUT it has become so much more! I am learning what it means to be calm, content, whole, full, enough!  I am experiencing fullness, abundance, enjoyment, and satisfaction while eating, but also in other daily activities. This practice is changing my experience of and relationship with calm, content, whole, full, satisfied, enough, en...

Over the last six months I've used colored paper and simple phrases to help build a daily life where my habits are healthy and balanced. You can do it to! All you need are crayons and patience! I'll show you how to create a weekly calendar that is filled with the things you want to do in life, and it's interactive. An interactive calendar so you can see your progress. Places where y...

I just finished another 10 day silent Vipassana meditation course. I share three main takeaways from it. First, my strong reaction to any change! Second, my habitual reaction to make things more intense than they already are. Third, the synchronous combining of harmonious or relational vibrations.

I share my latest understanding of allowing loss or failure to refine me in the present moment, but not define me, nor my future. My heart also wishes me to learn this so it can have the space to participate in my life, in my refinement, in my future. I am never defined by a moment, I am refined by it. 

It’s time to build a structure that is capable of being you, and of doing what you feel called to do. As you build this structure, you reclaim parts of yourself, parts that have been serving as boundaries, in order to protect you. But once you integrate that part of yourself that was a boundary, the function of that boundary is also integrated so you don’t need the boundary. It is inside you, inte...

There is only one thing you need to make the most amazing altar ever and that is your awareness. The second thing that’s helpful  to remember is that your altar is alive. It is a living growing changing being. It needs to be cleaned, it needs to be pruned, it needs to be you. Your relationships, your struggles, your blessings.  Your altar is a physical representation of your energetic and spiritua...

I share two different experiences of doing parts work, one was brilliant! The other less so. But both taught me the importance of recognizing the part that is iron-fisted, inflexible, because they need immediate attention. I also surprised myself by hearing other parts that are so grateful! But their voice wasn’t heard until I calmed and addressed the one(s) with great need. All parts are not equa...

I realized I have an absurd relationship and understanding of things NOT happening in my life. I think they are loss or failure. But how can something NOT happening be a loss, how can it be taken away, or, how can it be a failure, if I never did it? And how does this thinking keep me from 'making the asks' in my life that lead to connection, creativity, growth, love!

The morning after I found out my rape trial is 'cancelled'... What now? How do I live again? Love again? Relax my nervous system? Think beyond all that I've known for three years? And put down the burden? 

Had a call today with the prosecuting attorney. (I didn’t see this coming… even though I have felt for the last few weeks that I just need to live and not worry about the trial.) After 3.5 years, the State of Utah has decided to withdraw the case. They now feel there isn't enough evidence to convince a jury. So. It’s all over…. I’m not sure how I feel. Disappointed. Relieved. Surprised. Weird...

Dying is a process. I takes more than saying words, or feeling emotions, or even enduring the chaos of the mind as its old structures die. It takes a process, day to day to day, the messy, mucky, even miserable. I'm in that process and I want to remember what it's like, so I can be humble when I 'm not. And I want to acknowledge it so anyone else out there in a similar space doesn&a...

Well, here goes shame!  I am admitting there has been more than one me in here, and possibly more than two, but let's stick with two for today, namely, Jekyll & Hyde. Those two lovables have been here for a bit but I haven't wanted to acknowledge them. So, someone else did it for me. How lucky am I?!