Lowkey Chaotic

I hate the version of me that shows up after. The part that panics, overanalyzes, and forgets how to be okay alone. This episode is about the fear that comes with wanting to be known, and what it means to crave connection when it’s never felt safe.

Jealousy isn’t proof you’re bitter - it’s proof you care. In this episode, I talk about how jealousy can be a signal, not a flaw, and how to use it as a tool instead of letting it eat you alive.

I used to not care about body hair. Now I find myself shaving more than ever - not because I want to, but because I don’t want to be judged. So when SKIMS dropped  The Ultimate Bush , I started thinking about how something so natural became so complicated. In this episode, I unpack my own story, the history behind the hairless ideal, and how brands use shock value to stay relevant - even when it m...

i talk about rejection, childhood wounds, first relationships, and the weird shift from love to sex that happens when you grow up. about feeling undesirable, alone, and learning how to not lose myself in it. not a self-help episode. just me trying to make sense of it.

This is the episode where I say out loud what I’ve been living: I don’t even sleep with people anymore, because it never feels genuine. We’re taught as women that being chosen is the ultimate goal but what happens when men don’t even respect the women they choose? From baggy clothes to frat-boy group chats, from internalized misogyny to the male loneliness crisis, this conversation gets messy, vul...

Back in the day, your look told you everything about your politics. Punk meant anarchist. Goth meant outsider. Now? Aesthetic is just a vibe. That’s why you can be alt goth and a Trump supporter in 2025. In this episode, I unpack how subcultures lost their politics, why rave spaces still lean left, and the contradictions of marginalized people supporting a movement that harms them.

Why do we even post about politics online? Does it change anything? Or do you just want to feel good about yourself? This episode dives into digital activism, performative posting, and the difference between talking online and doing the work offline.

I thought I could love him into being better. I thought the good moments meant more than the bad ones. I thought if I just gave a little more, he’d finally love me the way I needed. I was wrong. In this episode I talk about the abuse I went through, why I stayed, and why waiting for him to change will only cost you years of your life.

Everyone loves to say “sex work is work” or “sex work is empowering.” And while I’ll always support sex workers, I don’t support the industry. In this episode I break down why - from the history of sex as taboo, to the illusion of empowerment on OnlyFans, to the harsh realities of survival sex work, trafficking, and stripping. We’ll talk privilege, “choice feminism,” the male gaze, and why most of...

Last week we unpacked the male gaze - this week, we’re discussing what happens when you like it. Is using your desirability as a power tool empowering… or just patriarchal? We’re talking capitalism, beauty standards, Julia Fox, my internal patriarchy committee, and yes, the one time I had my titties out and men treated me like royalty.

A deep dive into the way the male gaze controls us - not just how we dress, but how we act, post, and even exist around other women. If you think you’ve escaped it, think again.

We’re told to be pretty, chill, cool, desirable but never too available. Say yes, but not too fast. Want love, but never admit it. This week, we’re talking about how women are raised to perform for men, and how this creates shame, confusion, and abuse. If you’ve ever wondered why you were ghosted after sleeping with him, or felt like being “too into him” made you undateable - hit play.

In this episode, I break down Kurt Caz’s Rome video and explain why his cruelty and victim-blaming are not just wrong, but dangerous. From debunking myths about immigrants to exposing the real reasons cities like Rome struggle. Disclaimer: This is my personal commentary and critique of Kurt Caz’s video. The aim is to discuss the broader issues it raises, not to attack any individual personally.

If you’re waiting to feel ready, you’ll be waiting forever. You don’t need to feel like it - you just need to start.

I so badly want to be cool. You know - hot, unbothered, effortlessly detached. I want to have casual sex and not spiral. I want to leave someone’s house and  not  immediately romanticize the way they said goodbye. But the truth is... I can’t.

If monogamy is so natural, why does everyone cheat? In this episode, we dig into the truth behind cheating - not as a moral failure, but as a symptom. Of repression. Of patriarchy. Of a system designed by religion and control.

There was a part of me that hoped my ex would listen to the last episode and feel guilty. Remorseful, even. But then I remembered who he is. Instead, he hit me up - mad that I called him my ex. Not mad about what he did. Not about anything else. Just… the title. So that’s the inspo for this week’s episode: why abusers are allergic to accountability, why they love arguing semantics, and how toxic r...

Did you know abuse can literally rewire your brain? Chronic trauma can shrink your hippocampus, fuck up your memory, and leave your nervous system in a constant state of panic. This is the story of an abusive relationship - and the answer to the infamous “why didn’t you just leave?”

This episode is about craving validation, wanting to be chosen, and feeling lowkey insane for even admitting it. Why does adulthood still feel like high school? Why do I feel left out when no one’s actually excluding me? I don’t have the answers, but I needed to talk about it.

In this episode, I talk about what it means to be consumed by your own feelings - when overthinking turns into emotional paralysis and detachment is not an option (or a scam). For the ones who care too much, spiral too hard, and function too little.

Sex is supposed to be about connection, but for me, it’s been about performing, pleasing, and fitting into a system that doesn’t prioritize women’s needs. In this episode, I explore how patriarchy, porn, and objectification have influenced my relationship to sex, why I’ve often avoided it, and how I’m still learning what it truly means to me. Content Warning: Personal reflections on sex, patriarch...

I used to spend all my time thinking about the person I wanted to be. Then I got tired of that and just... started. If you’ve ever felt stuck in your own head, this one’s for you.