Loving On Purpose

What kind of person do you want to be? The first kind of person doesn't realize that their feelings are created by themselves and so they blame something outside of themselves for their negative emotions.  They become victims to their circumstances,  The second kind of person isn't a victim to their circumstances, but they change their circumstances , thinking they will feel better. The...

Have you ever notice your choice of one word can cause a different feeling than another word?  I'm not talking about opposite words but using just the right word, still a positive word, but a word that changes the meaning, thus, changing the feeling  of the phrase or sentence.  Example:  You're concerned your child is making so many bad choices in their lives that he/she is destined to l...

Is your life with your adult children as you pictured it would be?  Or is nothing like  what you had expected?  Are you feeling unimportant?  Ignored?  Left out of their lives?  Resentful?  Disappointed?  You are not alone.  You are suffering what I refer to as expectation pain.  What you were expecting life with your adult children is not happening.  Do you think you might have a "manual&quo...

In thinking about who you want to be or become have you ever thought about what you would like to be known for? The idea for this episode came to me while watching the Masters Golf tournament on TV last weekend.  A golfer was teeing off and I asked my husband who it was and why did I recognize him and not remember his name.  His reply was "HE IS KNOWN FOR BEING DISHONEST."  That made me...

We know we are the beneficiaries when we forgive someone that has wronged us.  But what about those people that don't deserve to be forgiven?  It can be difficult to do.  Our thoughts cause our feelings so that means our hurting is coming from the thoughts we are thinking.  But it can be hard to change our thoughts when we can't believe them so that means we continue to feel hurt.   I be...

Have you wondered why everyone is so full of joy on the day they get married?  They don't care if it's snowing when it was supposed to be a sunny summer day; they don't care if the cake didn't arrive.  It's because they are focusing on what matters most; they are focusing on what's going right!  It can be one of the happiest days of our life because of what we are foc...

The future is a mystery but yet we tend to spend a lot time thinking negatively about it that actually robs us of the present (which is a present and that's why it's called that).  In this episode I give you 7 thoughts that will help you view the future more optimistically. We don't have control over the future but we can choose to view it with optimism. I am no longer offering my 8...

Do you know the difference between confidence and self confidence?  Confidence is knowing you have the ability or skill to do something.  I am confident I can bake a cake.  Whereas, self confidence is the belief and trust we have about ourselves.  When we are self confident we feel comfortable in our own skin.  Listen to this episode to find out 7 ways we can foster it and help develop it in yours...

We always want to know if we did or said the right thing in a touchy situation with our adult children.  In this episode I give you 5 tips you can use to evaluate for yourself what to say or do.  There is no right or wrong way to act in any situation.   When my client ask "What should I say?" or "Is that ok to do?"  I always respond with "What do you want to say"; &qu...

What is God's plan for you?  Did you know it's different than God's plan for your children.  We can prove that but if look at all the different ways to grow in this life, all the different learning styles, we can assume that our "lessons" for becoming the person we want to become are going to be different than our children's.  Our time is well spent if we focus on fix...

This is an interview I had with daughter Julie and mother Jane about their relationship with each other.  Each shares their perspectives of what showing love, respect, and support to an adult child looks like.  You will first hear from the Julie the daughter and then Jane the  mom.  Listen closely for the common thread of love, respect, and support each has for each other.  Proof that love always...

What are the obstacles keeping you from loving your adult children.? "Oh, but I do love them" you say.  I say back to you, "if love feels so amazing, why are you so miserable." Love trumps every other emotion.  Love will win every time.  What's keeping us from feeling complete and whole that love offers to us to feel....our thoughts about our adult children's choices...

Do you see the glass half empty or half full?  Would you like to view the world more positively?  In this episode I tell you how to do this.  "Sitting on our shoulders is the most complicated object in the know universe" .........Michio Kaku.  And we all were given one.  We can't control, nor would would want to, our heart beating or our breathing routine or our kidney function.  Bu...

We use the term boundaries pretty loosely.   It's important to know when it's appropriate to use.  We need to make sure we like our reason for setting a boundary verses making a request.   A request is just that....a request.  A boundary is a request but if not honored there is a consequence.  The consequence needs to be what "YOU" will do if the request is not honored....not w...

Love is the most amazing feeling anyone can feel. My little Harvey (my grandson) loves his "lovey"....his ragged, little stuffed dog he calls Bunny. There are no conditions attached to loving his Bunny. Do you know why? Because it makes him feel so amazing. In this episode I talk about what LOVE feels like and what LOVE does. I'm talking specifically about loving children that are c...

Your adult children are gone; off figuring life out on their own.  Some of you find yourself unfulfilled because your life without them is not as you expected.  Sometimes you are feeling unappreciated or disappointed.  Some of you are feeling disconnected from these people you were once the most important person in their life.  It's time to find a new way of spending your time.  It's tim...

This is a replay of one of Jody Moore's podcast when she interviewed me about a year ago.  I know many have heard this interview but many have not.  I'm proud of this daughter of mine....just like I'm proud of my other 4 children and what they are doing in the world, maybe  just not with the notoriety that Jody has.  I love them all the same.  You would think that a relationship bet...

Just when we thought we had resolved some challenges with our adult children, a son or daughter-in-law enter the picture.  Remember we are a parent, we are no longer parenting.  You are no longer the most important person in their lives.  Everything you did as a couple or as a parent is not going to be copied by your child and their spouse.  They are going to do it a whole different way.  And that...

I hate the word goal.  It puts a lot of pressure on me to make them and keep them.  But there is so much benefit in "following our dreams".  So I'm going to call it a wish.  What do I wish to happen or become in 2023 that will help me be engaged in fulfilling activities.  What do I wish I could do that would cause me to be happier?  What could I do to focus on things that uplift me...

Some of you are probably not looking forward to Christmas.  Maybe even dreading that it's here because of a painful relationship with an adult child or some other family member.  In this episode I show you why accepting the circumstance, without giving up the desire for it to be different, helps you enjoy the holidays more than if you were resisting the hurt filled circumstance.  Choosing lov...

Do you say yes every time your adult children ask you to watch their kids?  Are you afraid if you say no they will be mad at you?  Or your grandkids won't like you as much as the other grandma?  If so you might be what we call a "people pleaser".  I like to please people, especially my family members but not at my expense.  Listen to find out how to know when to say yes and when to...

Do you want to know how to influence your adult children?  Show up as a parent that loves them no matter how they treat you.  You are a circumstance in their lives.  We don't have control over their thoughts so that means we don't have control over whether they accept or even feel our love.  What are the chances if you show up as a kind and loving person that they will know you love them...

I was so inspired when I spent three days listening to Brooke Castillo share how to live the life you want.  My biggest take away is that most of us are not living our happiest life because we haven't "decided" to commit to living a happy life.  Some quotes I shared in this episode that she said....."Everything you struggle with, you choose to struggle with."...."What...

Gratitude is more than just a good virtue to copy.  It actually causes us to be happier.  And what about appreciation.  The thought that you are good enough just the way you are.  In fact you are amazing and your life would be more abundant with love if you believed that.  You didn't create you so it's ok to think that.  Having thought of appreciation for ourselves and our lives causes u...

I offer you four steps to coach yourself when you are stuck in feeling a negative emotion and you don't know what to do.  If you follow these four steps, you will be able to start practicing what we call self coaching.  You will be able to choose the feeling you want to feel.  This doesn't mean you won't need some coaching from a certified coach, but it will give you a taste of how...