Loving On Purpose

Our love may feel rejected by our adult children but that doesn't mean they don't love us.  It's our expectation of a certain way they should be responding to our love that they are not living up to that causes us to feel they are rejecting our love.  Whether it's not thanking us for a gift we gave them to not including us in their children's lives that may cause us to fee...

I share some insights into what adult children commonly complain about their parents since they have become adults.  You'll find from listening to this episode, it's many of the same complaints parents have about their adult children.  I discuss 10 common complaints adult children have shared.  I am not inferring that a struggling relationship is caused by the parents, but maybe you will...

The cause of your painful relationship with an adult child may not be what you think it is?  When we find out what it is, it's mind blowing.  Because it's not their actions, but it's your thoughts about their actions that is causing you all your pain.  The good news is that we can't change their actions but we can change our thoughts.  It's learning that you are responsibl...

Many of my clients wonder if their children are disrespectful to them because they failed in their child raising techniques.  Unless a child was severely abused, how they were raised has nothing to do with how they treat their parents.  Most of the time disrespectful children don't see themselves as being disrespectful.  Whatever is happening, they see it from a different perspective.  It&apo...

We can't control or change how we want people to act in a relationship.  Even with an out pouring of love, they still might not accept our love.  But we can control our behavior and the kind of person we want to show up as in any relationship.  Relationships with family members are always the most personal to us.  Listen to this episode to learn what you can control in your contribution to a...

Have you ever wondered why when you're hungry you are quicker to be offended by circumstances in your life?  Have you noticed that sometimes when you are disappointed you sometimes don't have the energy  to start a new task and the option to take a nap sounds pretty inviting.  Our physical well being and our emotional well being are interconnected.  One doesn't function at it's...

Do you love yourself?  Did you know you are thanking God for His greatest creations if you do?  Did you know that to unconditionally love yourself reduces stress?  Did you know it can help you make better decisions?  But the biggest benefit of all, it helps you love people that might be difficult to love.  Unconditionally loving yourself means to love all of yourself....your strengths and your wea...

Sometimes our heartbrokenness isn't over our relationship with an adult child but over unharmonious relationships between our adult children.  It can have as much impact over us emotionally as a difficult relationship with a child.  In this episode I speak to what your role is in such a circumstance and offer eight suggestions of what you can do to find peace in your life. I am no longer offe...

What if you believe really hard that your relationship with your adult child could improve.  Believing is the first step.  When we really, really believe it can happen we change from having a despairing mindset to having a hopeful mindset.  When we feel hope rather than despair we are motivated and determined to find opportunities to make it happen.  Listen to this episode to hear 5 steps to havin...

Having a bank of empowering thoughts in our brain can't help us feel the feelings we want to feel more of the time.  I keep five or so of these thoughts, (which now have become default thoughts because I have practiced thinking them so often) in the front of my brain that allows me to not let the hard things in my life get me down.  I have a better understanding of why opposition is necessary...

Do you deal with disrespectful adult children?  After all we sacrificed for them!!!.  In this episode I offer some suggestions as to why they are disrespectful;  what are some boundaries we can set so we are not the perennial "punching bag"; and what actions we can take to influence them to change their behavior.  We can't control or change them but maybe making some changes in our...

I get many of you asking what can I do to fill my time now that my children are raised that will be satisfying and fulfilling.  Have you thought of volunteering?  Some of you probably have but don't know where you to start.  Listen to this episode to find out the benefits emotionally to volunteering, how to assess where you should volunteer, and also some specific places that need volunteers....

Thank you for submitting questions regarding your relationship navigation with your adult children.  Most relationships come down to what we focus on as to how we perceive whether it's accepting to us or not.  We have a choice.  To focus on the good in people or focus on what's not going right.  We have a choice to love another person or to judge them.  It's in our power to feel any...

Has the disappointment and sadness over your relationship with an adult child been with you too long? Are you tired of missing out on a life you thought you were going to have?  Making an effort to find those that need you might just be the perfect remedy;  those that are suffering that need your love and help.  We can't control our adult children.  We can't help them if they don't...

Do you find yourself judging others and find fault in others as your default thinking? It's your brains fault but you can change it; you can be uncharge of your brain instead of it reverting to its 3 motivational desires (which I explain in this episode).  It takes some intentionality to be the boss.  Listen to the 5 steps I give you to be able to default to noticing what is going right in yo...

One of the most difficult times a parent can go through is when they are told by their adult child they want no contact with them.  The question is "now what"?  If you fixate on this happening it could keep you stuck in despair the rest of your life.  There is a way to move on.  Of course you're going to feel hurt and disappointed.  In this episode I tell you of three stages to go t...

Have you ever questioned your likability?  Is that something that is controllable? We were all born likable.  We may have stronger likes for some than for others but that is because we all have preferences of what we like and don't like. Some people like peaches and some don't.  It doesn't matter if you're the juiciest peach on the tree, you can't make people like you if t...

Our adult children see what a good relationship with their adult parents looks like from a different perspective than we do.  Because of the internet and social media, needs that were once being met by parents are now being met by Google and Facebook.  Thus, where parents may see their relationship with their now adult children as distant, they may see it as perfect.  Adult children are not intent...

Wanting your relationship to be different than what it is with your adult children may be the very thing that is keeping you from living the life you want to live.  What we want in a relationship with our children maybe different than what they want and sometimes this is why we see the relationship as not a close one.  But what if nothing has gone wrong?  What if this is what kind of relationship...

Do you notice the less you know about your adult children's lives the fewer opinions you have as to the right or wrongness of their behavior?  Why do we care what they are thinking?  We can't change it.  We are driven to know why they aren't coming to our house for dinner, again!  We may not like the answer; we might not get the real reason.  Your business is to become a better vers...

What if I told you that your attitude, not external factors, is the key to unlocking happiness and improving your quality of life?  Your attitude come from your thoughts not your circumstances. Listen to find strategies for becoming more conscious of our thoughts, practicing optimism, and developing acceptance with challenging circumstances.  Your attitude is your choice; that means you can view l...

There are three things we all want:   autonomy, respect by others of our agency, and not be told what to do.  We all want to to be self governing of our lives.  When we feel threatened that someone is taking our power away, we rebel and run away from this person.  Even meaning-well parents, trying to make suggestions to their adult children often backfires by weakening or even losing the relations...

Circumstances are everything that happens outside of us in our lives; world events, the weather, our past, what someone says or doesn't say to us.  Circumstances are the facts of what's going on around us.  They are the boring descriptions of our life.  Circumstances are neutral.  We were raised thinking it was the circumstances of our lives that caused us to feel a certain way.  It was...

Part of being human is being willing to feel all of our emotions; being an emotional adult is being willing to feel" the good, the bad, and the ugly" parts of our lives.  The Model is the most amazing tool.  By using it, you can feel any feeling you want to feel just by intentionally choosing to think thoughts that cause you to feel the feeling you want to feel.   But it can be misused. ...

Tune in this week to discover why inspirational music can help you stop feeling so much despair, especially that feeling of dread so many feel over Mother's Day, or any other circumstances that triggers those negative emotions that come from a mismanaged mind.   Kristine shares why uplifting music is the perfect tool for new thoughts to enter your mind, almost instantly,  that causes you to f...