LoveLife Podcast

Whether as a result of divorce, widowhood, or other circumstances second marriages often face the prospect of combining families.   Where children are involved this is a delicate and potentially difficult proposition but also one that can be rewarding and a significant improvement for all involved. The results turn on how well the prospective partners relate to and communicate with their children...

It has become increasingly common to find that traditional gender roles in the household are no longer –well, traditional.   Who is the primary housekeeper, parent, breadwinner?  It isn’t always what one might expect which raises some questions about how best to navigate the relationship when the traditional roles no longer apply.  For many men, being the stay at home father/homekeeper...

Perhaps a friend has said it–maybe it was you: Where are all the good  (men/women), I just can’t find the one.  If you have any self awareness this should lead you to ask the question: Am I Too Picky?  You may not be, or you just might but failing to ask the question is an all too common mistake.  Let’s face it, we dream of finding the ideal person–and once we get to know o...

We probably should have been more direct.  There is no good way to say goodbye–but there are ways to bring a relationship to a close without causing each other deep and lasting pain. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about how to do just that–to honestly and transparently acknowledge that for whatever reasons the relationship has run its course and the possibility of resurrecting m...

You’ve probably heard people describe someone as a soul mate, or say that their relationship was meant to be.  Are their cosmic relationships, those blessed by God, and karmically arranged, or are these simply justifications?  Alvean and Doug take on this somewhat controversial subject in this episode, a transcript of which may be found here: LL05

Quite often men and women will question whether their relationships are authentic, or a manifestation of chemistry, the short tem allure of the chase, or some other temporary circumstance.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug offer some thoughts on how to recognize a genuine bond, built of real love and respect for one’s partner.  For more and a full transcript, click here: LL04

Building on the previous episode, Alvean and Doug talk about how our role models and family help us to expand our capacity for loving. For a full transcript of the episode, click here: LL03

As we go though life we may find various people who will become our role models in life, in our careers and in our relationships.  They may be parents or other relatives, friends or simply people we meet along the way.  In this episode Alvean and Doug discuss their own role models and offer thoughts on how the identify those who might serve as role models.  For a full transcript of the episode, cl...

In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about passive/aggressive behavior and offer insights on how best to address this toxic form of relationship.  For a full transcript and more, click here: 68-The Passive-Aggressive Partner

It is a pervasive influence on our lives and some would say not a healthy one.  How does participation in social media affect our lives and our relationships for better or for worse?  Alvean and Doug discuss the subject and offer some thoughts on how to navigate this fraught space in a healthy and productive manner.  For more and a complete transcript, click here: 64-Relationships and Social Media

Some have said that Parenthood is the last of the unskilled occupations. How do we prepare ourselves, how do we take on the necessary wisdom to raise our children to become successful and happy adults?  To answer these and other questions, Alvean and Doug offer real world examples from their own and others’ lives in this episode.  For a full transcript, click here: 65-Parenthood

It is a momentous step and one that can make or break a relationship. Accommodating another person’s habits, posessions, and space put our affections to the test and what may be acceptable when we live apart is strained when we live together.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about the stresses and pitfalls of moving in together but also the many rewards and sweetness that can accompany...

For some it is acts of service, for others affirmation, gifts of touch, or quality time.  These are the ways we express our affection and affirm our love. But they are not always acknowledged, valued or understood by couples and a mismatch between what is desired and what is received can be fatal to an enduring relationship.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss the languages of love, how we s...

The path to hell they say is paved with good intentions.  Too often we make the mistake of enabling a loved one to continue to harbor destructive –even self destructive habits or patterns of behavior.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about the ways in which our good intentions can result in the worst results for those we love. Enabling robs those we love of self determination, reinforc...

How many of us have idealized the perfect mate, and found that our dream curdled in reality?  That is the question Alvean and Doug tackle in this episode.   Is it possible to find such a person, and if and when we do will they measure up to reality?  Who is the ideal mate in any event? For more on this and a full transcript, click here: LL62-Your ideal mate

In a time when friend may mean someone you know on Facebook, what is a good friend and how do you know if you are one? Alvean and Doug talk about friendship and relationships and how the two relate. For a full transcript, click here: LL61-Are you a good friend?

For many couples that moment when one decides that its time to begin living together can be a fraught–even difficult navigation–even if it is something both desire.  Adjusting to someone else’s routines, habits, and life style is not always a seamless and easy proposition.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss the challenges and strategies for navigating them to help couples...

And Baby makes three, so the saying goes.   That precious moment, however, is not without its challenges–especially for couples experiencing parenthood for the first time.  It can elicit latent fears, create tensions where none existed before –interfere with careers, health and fray the edges of relationships, but it can also be the culmination of dreams, and blessing.  Finding your wa...

One of the more difficult behaviors to address in a relationship is the passive/aggressive partner.  Communication with passive aggressive partners is ultimately a difficult proposition that stands everything on its head and if unchecked can lead to dissolution, a bad breakup or worse due to latent anger and its effect. In this episode, Alvean and Doug help listeners recognize the signs of this be...

Social Media is omnipresent in our lives and while it can help us maintain our involvement with friends and famil, it can also be a toxic wasteland spreading mis information and echoing unhealthy views or outright propaganda.  In this episode Alvean and Doug talk about the ways social media bear on relationships and how to make the best use of the medium without undue influence or harm.  Fir a com...

Healthy and authentic relationships have a very special quality, they actually expand our capacity to feel and express love–not only to our beloved but to our circle of friends and family as well.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss this in concrete terms with examples drawn from their experience.  For a complete transcript, click here: LL03

In life and in relationships we may model our behavior on influential people in for better or worse.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about their role models and explore the ways role models act as intermediaries.  For a full transcript, click here:

Perhaps you heard that everyone has different ways of expressing their love, some through acts others through gifts, some through verbal expression and so on.   In this episode Alvean and Doug discuss the various love languages and how couples can learn to understand and accept the expressions of their partner, especially when they may not speak the same language. For more and a full transcript. c...

Sometimes we want so much to do everything possible for our loved ones that we end up serving their best interest poorly.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about enabling and how you can identify whether or not you may be an enabler wiothout realizing it.  For a full transcript, click here: 67-Are you an Enabler?

Do you have an ideal mate?  How do you know what you are looking for and can you trust those instincts? In this episode, Alvean and Doug offer some suggestions for how to recognize the traits that make someone ideal for you. For more and a complete transcript, click here: LL62-Your ideal mate