Love in Practice with Emily Gough and Kelly Gardner

Do you work with your partner? Today we're exploring the complex intersection of professional ambition and romantic partnership. We unpack the "Success Identity," discussing how personal achievement (the "reaching of the mountaintop") can create silent tension at home when it is tied too closely to one's sense of self and dignity. In this episode, we unpack: * The &qu...

We recently discussed the complexities of relationships while watching Love is Blind Season 10, specifically focusing on a contestant's behavior. This particular individual, Devonte, showcased a pattern of distrust in his own decision-making, which led to emotional fatigue and analysis paralysis. In this episode, we deep-dive into the "West" direction of the Relational Compass. When...

Does "being honest" with your partner constantly lead to defensiveness? In this episode, we dive into the East direction of the Relational Compass to explore why expressing needs in relationships often gets misconstrued as criticism. We break down the "Shadow East" pattern of Holding Authority—where the need to be right outweighs the need to be connected. You’ll learn how to sh...

In this discussion, we explore how one's childhood experiences, particularly growing up with a single mother, can profoundly shape their perception of others' needs. For many high-achievers, "people-pleasing" or being "easy-going" was originally a survival strategy. However, in a committed partnership, this "South" pattern becomes a system glitch that leads...

If you’ve ever been called a "know-it-all," a narcissist, or felt like you were "lawyering" your partner, this episode is for you. High-achievers often rely on authority and "being right" to succeed in business, but that same strategy acts like quicksand in a relationship. When you prioritize your dignity over the connection, you aren't leading—you’re bulldozing....

So what's the deal? Is it intuition… or is it anxiety? This question shows up in nearly every relationship, especially when trust, fear, or old wounds get triggered. In this episode, we unpack: • The real difference between intuition and fear • Why your body can both guide you and mislead you • How old patterns masquerade as “gut instinct” • The danger of core negative beliefs about your part...

So if you heal your trauma, will your relationship finally be "fixed"? Not necessarily. In this episode of Love in Practice, we unpack why trauma work alone doesn’t automatically heal your relationship, and how the real issue often isn’t what happened to you, but the survival strategies you built around it. We explore how patterns like holding authority, preserving peace, control, defens...

Why communication won’t fix your relationship and how nervous system regulation, trust, and pattern work actually create lasting change. 🧭 Take the Relational Compass https://www.lipcouples.com/compass 💛 Explore Together in Practice https://www.lipcouples.com/ Most couples believe they have a communication problem. They don’t. They have a nervous system problem. In this episode, we break down wh...

Conflict is going to happen in a healthy relationship. And more often than not, conflict starts with something laughably small – from doing dishes, to making food, and even how to decoratively light a podcast. But underneath the menial cause of conflict always lies a much deeper need that isn’t being met.  This episode originally aired in February 2024 on Emily's podcast, Room to Grow as we u...

Every strong couple has them. Those tiny, invisible battles that shape connection, safety, and trust. In this episode we break down the unspoken power dynamics that show up in even the healthiest relationships: the triggers, shutdowns, leadership clashes, and moments where love meets old wounds. This conversation is honest, grounded, and real. You’ll hear how two strong partners navigate emotional...

We're taking you back in time! This episode originally aired in December 2023 on Emily's podcast, Room to Grow as we unpacked two of the patterns of over-functioning that can show up in relationship and keep us from true intimacy.  Longtime Room to Grow listeners may recognize these archetypes from an earlier, more playfully named episode. It’s tempting to want to play the role of “super...

In this episode of Love in Practice , we dive into the hidden emotional patterns that quietly shape our relationships, often without us realizing it. From the subtle ways shame shows up, to the moments we flip into grandiosity, to the instinct to protect our inner child at all costs, we explore how these unconscious dynamics create the same painful cycles with the people we love most. We’re unpack...

We're taking you back in time! This episode originally aired in September 2023 on Emily's podcast, Room to Grow . It was the first time we shared about our relationship, and we wanted to let you listen in so you can better understand right alongside us how love grows, shifts and evolves over time. We kept some of the original show notes below: My guest on this episode is my partner, Kell...

You can do all the healing work in the world, and then real love shows up to find out if you really meant it. This episode dives into the beautiful and brutal reality of what happens when old patterns meet new love, and when the very person you adore also triggers the parts of you you thought were long gone. We're sharing how we have navigated (and still are, in some cases), enormous transiti...

Perfection isn’t the point; devotion is. It’s our commitment to the practice of love that keeps bringing us back to each other, again and again, even on the hard days. In this opening episode of Love in Practice , we’re inviting you into the real, raw, and beautifully messy work of love. We’ll be sharing the highs, the lows, and the downright difficult moments that continue to shape us as a couple...