Love and Life with Dr. Karin and Pastor Elliott

As we all know, if something is “out of order,” it’s not working.  So, too, in marriage!  In session 3 of his premarital curriculum, Elliott discusses the importance of “order” in marriage. He shares key verses in Ephesians 5 with which some couples struggle. Elliott asserts a deeper understanding reveals how husbands and wives are empowered by these Biblical instructions. He reminds us that altho...

We’re continuing our series on engagement by sharing Elliott’s premarital curriculum with you 💍 In session 2, Elliott asks couples if they believe love is enough. If we’re madly in love, can we be guaranteed a happy, solid, fulfilling marriage? He goes into depth regarding the Bible’s instructions (I Peter 3:1-7) for how husbands are to treat their wives and vice versa. Elliott unpacks the meanin...

Elliott sent me this Key and Peele clip the other day: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/wOBNm_8zw4I I immediately texted back, “We need to record an episode about this!” The bit starts with Key sharing an unpopular opinion about a movie.  Peele responds with a phrase we hear all the time these days, “That’s awkward!” Key is confused. What’s awkward about an opinion? He protests but Peele continues t...

Last week, Producer Tim and I discussed the joys of an easy marriage.  But we know, of course, this isn’t everyone’s experience! We definitely wanted Elliott to share how he helps couples in difficult marriages improve their connection so they can enjoy each other more—and maybe even find that ease and fluidity they’ve been lacking! Specifically, we discuss: Semantics around the word, “easy.” Why...

The Love & Life family is a diverse bunch—from singles, to those exclusively dating, to engaged couples, to marrieds, to divorced folks back on the scene again. We’re all at different places in our love journey. As we thought about what we wanted to share for Valentine’s Day, Producer Tim suggested we grapple with the following:  Are relationships doomed to be a constant struggle? Do they have...

We interrupt our series on engagement to bring you Elliott’s presentation on trauma, which he shared recently at his church. How do we define trauma? What experiences leave a trauma wound? How do these wounds impact our relationships? What does the Bible have to say about trauma? Is there hope for healing? If so, how do we heal? We’ve all experienced some level of trauma—Big T or Little t. Perhaps...

As anyone who’s experienced depression can tell you, it’s brutal. And, with almost 1 in 4 American women taking antidepressants, it’s clear many of us are suffering. What’s going on? What’s to be done? In this latest episode of our “Love & Life:  Let’s Talk About It” series, Miriam Conner and I explore depression in America—especially as it relates to women. Specifically, we consider: How depr...

Welcome to Love & Life: Let’s Talk About It! So, what exactly are we talking about? All the hot topics we’re not supposed to touch—the subjects that get you censored, shadow-banned, and canceled when you broach them. Censorship, shadow-banning, cancelation . . . How could this happen? This is America, the “land of the free!” Or, so we thought . . . Are we actually free if we’re not permitted t...

We continue our series on engagement with the next segment of Elliott’s premarital counseling curriculum. Today’s episode delves into Session 1, Part 2. Elliott discusses the themes couples should address when they’re engaged—along with the exercises and activities he employs to help generate conversations around these important topics. If you’re engaged—or expect to be someday—this episode is for...

You’re engaged! Time for wedding planning! But, what about marriage planning? Because a strong, fulfilling marriage starts long before your wedding day! In fact, our engagement serves as a crucial time for us to address key concerns and establish healthy patterns which will set us up for a strong, fulfilling marriage. With over 30 years counseling engaged and married couples, Elliott has a wealth...

Building a strong marriage starts long before the wedding day and with 30+ years of working with couples, Elliott has plenty of solid advice for anyone newly engaged or contemplating engagement! But, first things first—it’s thrilling to accept a proposal and begin wedding planning, but we need to be sure we’re doing all this with the right person for us! Too often, premarital counseling focuses on...

You’re engaged! So in love! It’s exhilarating!  Except, when you have cold feet. Are these just wedding jitters? Or, do you need to rethink your decision? As a former runaway bride, this topic hits home to me. Elliott and I decided to kick off our series on premarital counseling by asking a very important first question, “What if you’re engaged, but you’re feeling uncertain and unsure?” In this ep...

In part 2 of our conversation about family roles, Elliott and I share specific roles we may play when interacting with our family of origin—and others in our lives!  Are you the “family hero?” The black sheep? The lost child?  Join us to determine your role and how to rewrite the script should you feel your role constrains you or proves unhealthy for your adult growth and development. Sponsor The...

Whether we’re aware of it or not, we each play various roles within our families. And, even if we’ve grown and changed, we often step right back into our role during family gatherings! Do you know your family role? Do you understand how it impacts you during the holidays and throughout the year? Some of us have a sense of our family role. Maybe you’re the instigator or the peacemaker. The caretake...

Triangulation. It’s so easy. We all do it. But, it’s SO unhealthy.  What’s triangulation? Here’s a common example: We get angry, but instead of talking to the person who upset us, we gripe about it with someone else. We loop in a third party. It diffuses the tension, but does it move us toward solving the dispute/problem?  Not at all. As we continue our series on how to connect with our families i...

We wrap up this year with some personal reflections regarding Love & Life’s themes of mind, body, and spirit! Elliott and I discuss some revelations we’ve had via the books and articles we’ve read including: Brain Energy by Christopher Palmer, M.D. Joanna Moncrieff’s challenge of the serotonin theory of depression The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk The work of Dr. Caroline Leaf We sha...

Elliott and I continue our series on how to best engage with family members over the holidays with this episode devoted to family rules. All families have a “code of conduct.” Some of these expectations are well known by all members. Others operate just beneath the surface.  How do we manage family rules now that we’re adults? How do we navigate the expectations of our family and then adjust to th...

With the new year right around the corner, you may be thinking about resolutions. Many of us want to level up our health and fitness, but oftentimes we feel daunted because we’ve tried a hundred times before, yet never reached our goals. Help is here! Justin Savich, creator of The Pure Fat Loss Challenge, brings over 20 years of nutrition, strength training, and fitness knowledge to his proven pro...

Last week we talked about the importance of maintaining boundaries with our family during holiday gatherings. But what if boundaries aren’t enough? What if we simply can’t get along with our family? We no longer agree on anything and we can’t find common ground. Should we completely cut them off? Or, is there a better way? Today, Elliott and I discuss the Family Systems construct of Individuation...

Holiday family gatherings should bring us closer, but sometimes they do the exact opposite! All too often, we get together only to grow apart. Help is here! Implementing principles from Family Systems Therapy allows us to cultivate true intimacy while reducing family drama. In today’s episode, Elliott and I delve into boundaries. We share concrete strategies for establishing boundaries with family...

The holidays are upon us and in efforts to make the season as bright as possible, Elliott and I want to share principles from one of our favorite therapeutic orientations—Family Systems Theory and Therapy. And yes, siblings can get under our skin in ways no one else can. And sure, in-law interactions may be strained. And of course, blended families present us with unique challenges, but still—we C...

In fact, we’re taught to avoid talking about finances because it’s considered a bit gauche—especially when you don’t know someone very well. Furthermore, what if you’re not all that proud of your relationship with money? Maybe your bank account refuses to grow and “retail therapy” is your go-to coping mechanism! Or, it seems you just can’t get ahead no matter how much you save! Emily Burnett can r...

I asked Elliott the other day, “We’ve been talking about cheating and recovery, but what can we do to try to prevent affairs from happening in the first place?” And yes, healing is possible and, as Elliott continues to stress, we may even find deeper intimacy after infidelity. But of course, wouldn’t we prefer to grow closer to our spouse without going through a marital breakdown? In this conversa...

After posting episodes 265 and 266, Karin and I continue to see a need to continue the discussion about cheating. So today we continue our cheating series by responding additional concerns and discuss how to start the healing process. Specifically, we address: What's the first step in the healing process? How to navigate forgiveness and grief What to do if children are involved What rebuilding...

After posting episode 265, Elliott and I received additional questions about infidelity, so we wanted to continue our cheating series by responding to these concerns. Specifically, we address: What exactly is cheating? Is flirting too much a violation? What about porn? Connecting with an old flame on Facebook? Close friendships with coworkers? What are the first steps to take if one of us has brok...