Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!

I have never had sex with a famous person but these people (claim to) have… The closest I think I got was harassing Siouxsie Sioux at a bar once. Wait, there was never any chance of me having sex with her. I was just bugging her. People like to have sex because it fun. But … Continue reading "Lou Reads Stories of Hooking Up with Celebrities from Groupies (from AskReddit)"

Hey, next time your pondering taking that razor blade swallowing bet your friends dared you to do, or you’re about to impale yourself with a giant dildo while on your Lil’ Rascal Scooter, take a moment to think of the men and women who work in the local emergency medical services world. Is your stupidity … Continue reading "Lou Reads ep115: True Stories of Emergency Medical Servi...

I have no words for how silly this episode is. Look, if you think that your nocturnal emissions, wet dreams, night-spooges, etc… are caused by filthy spirits touching your boy/girl parts, then you should probably get professional help. But, if you don’t want to see a brain doctor then go right on ahead to the … Continue reading "Lou Reads about The Demons that Cause Wet Dreams."

Ok, so you got your hands on a not-yet-illegal, mega-effective, pharmaceutical grade benzodiazapine. This stuff is so powerful that it makes you forget you took it so you keep taking it until you black out and lose days at a time. So what do you do with it? Why, you just jump right in there. … Continue reading "Lou Reads Tales of Phenazepam Drug Trip Nightmares"

This week I’m reading from the forums of The-Niceguy.com. If you really don’t like American women then you are going to enjoy this episode. If you ARE an American woman then… why are so terrible? Ask yourself that! Well, if you don’t want to do your introspection this forum and it’s fed-up-with-feminism members will be … Continue reading "Lou Reads from The Nice...

Who hasn’t been intrigued by the mysteries of the Third Sex. Of course I’m talking about those mysterious, curvy women whose panties conceal a hidden wang. Oh the allure of the being with a woman whose big old shlong you go down on and have enter you. Why wouldn’t everyone prefer that? What’s that you … Continue reading "Lou Reads Ladyboy Pattay Forum"

Look… I know what you did so you should probably just admit it. I mean it will be better than carrying around that guilt with you for years until you share it on a forum on the internet. In this episode you’ll hearing people recounting things they did a children that they are ashamed of. … Continue reading "Lou Reads Tales of Things You Did as a Kid That You’re Ashamed Of"

Happy Birthday, America! How are you planning to celebrate? I was hoping you’d say,”Well Lou, I plan to celebrate by listening to a new podcast!” Well, you’re in luck! The latest episode of Lou Reads is out and its true stories about weird encounters at hotels. So if you’ve ever taken a shit in the … Continue reading "Lou Reads True Stories from Hotel Workers fr...

Hey, you! Check this out! Nope. Lower… lower… yup! Thats my self-esteem! Oh you thought I was trying to show you my dick? Well, since its out you might as well look at it, too. Feel free to not be impressed. Ok, so this is a forum where people who are titillated by exposing their … Continue reading "Lou Reads from the Forums of Dick Flash"

Sorry folks! I’m breaking my long running streak of classy, high-brow topics and delving in the gut churning topic of emergency pooping. As a semi-reformed IBS sufferer its a subject near & dear to my heart. doodie.com My only caveat to this episode is that some of peoples stories actually seem like poop stories that … Continue reading "Lou Reads from AskReddit “Where Is the...

Thats right, its time to loosen your belt, unbutton your pants and cram just a little more podcast into your fat earholes! Come on, you can do it. Just have someone rub your ears while you’re listening to make sure you take it all in… So this episode I read from a forum called Fantasy … Continue reading "Lou Reads from the Forums at FantasyFeeder.com"

I have to admit, I was getting ready to record something different this week. I was pretty content with my subject. Then something happened. I read a story about the police officer they were calling The Cannibal Cop. The story mentioned that he was on a forum where he and his fellow cannibalism fantasizers hung … Continue reading "Lou Reads from the Forums of DarkFetish. Net – Home of...

The day is finally here! The day I do an episode that is entirely about fisting! I know you thought the day would never come but I finally worked up the courage to push past the tight ring of my resistance to this topic and punch fist my way to the fantastic forums at fistforum.com. … Continue reading "Lou Reads from Fist Forum. All Your Fisting Needs and More!"

Look, we can’t talk here. Obviously, things have been set in motion. The recent events, Sandy Hook, Bengazi, Time Warner Triple-Play, Twinkies, the Super Bowl halftime show and others too obvious to keep listing have set in motion the end of society. So if you’re not a sheeple you need to get your ass to … Continue reading "Lou Reads from the Forums of Survivalist Boards –...

How to fight demons? Its the question on everyones mind. Well at least the inquiring minds of the wordpress blog knows as Heal the Land. They have a lot of super helpful posts about how to prepare for spiritual warfare, how to expel demons & other super helpful demon related advice. Well, as you might … Continue reading "Lou Reads About How To Fight Demons"

“Look, its not that I didn’t like what you bought for, per se. It’s more that your choice of gift shows me that you don’t know me at all and its making me sad.” If you’ve thought something like this at Christmas then this is the podcast episode for you! Won’t you join me as … Continue reading "Lou Reads about Sucky Christmas Presents from the Somethi...

The year is almost over! Believe me, I cannot wait to put 2012 behind me. Sadly thats how I felt about 2011, too. I’ll be recording something tonight but before that happens I just wanted to drop off this extrasode gem from 2011. I hope you enjoy it more than a glassful of urine a … Continue reading "Lou Reads Extrasode from the Cum on Food Forums"

Hey! Hanukka is almost over (or over I can’t remember) and its almost Christmas! The guys over at the Something Awful forums have been working super hard on their 4th annual Christmas music collection. I took it upon myself to fire up the Garageband and make a top 10 countdown. There were 87 songs to … Continue reading "Lou’s Top 10 XMAS Countdown from Something Awful’s Goo...

Honey, I know you’ve been complaining about being bored with our sex life. Now, I’m not comfortable with your suggestion that we invite another man into the bedroom. However I was thinking that you might be open to inviting a giant fantasy dildo instead. I already spent the money soooo…. Merry Christmas! So here we … Continue reading "Lou Reads about Dragon Dildos from the...

You may remember when I read from the forums of the Bronies way back in March of 2011. Well you may have missed this extrasode that was posted on the blog. This story was not from the forum but another site called Pony Chan and involves a person using My Little Pony to help them … Continue reading "Lou Reads Extrasode from Ponychan. How My Little Pony Helped a Man Confront His Abusive Step-F...

Oh hey, just getting ready to call it quits after being up for the past 80 hours so I thought I’d wrap it up and post this podcast about Crystal Meth. Its been a while so I thought I’d dip my toe back into the madness of getting spun. Last time around it was more … Continue reading "Lou Reads – More Crystal Meth Tips from Drugs-Forum"

Well, if Hurricane Sandy did one good thing over these last couple of days its that it gave me time to edit this episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! A silver lining to the whipping winds and flood tides. I’m sure you’ll agree. So, hold onto to your puke and get ready to … Continue reading "Lou Reads episode 98! Emetophiles talk about Hot Puke."

Just stopping in to drop off a little minisode for you. This was a recording done for a fan of the podcast. It was requested as a birthday gift. I figure since this was recorded in April it might be okay to share by now. If you want a recording for your friends birthday please … Continue reading "Lou Reads minisode: How Can I Become a Juggalo?"

Look, I know this topic is probably going to split my listenership into two groups. Those who love animals and those who love animals for their hot wet love holes. Well, now that you’re in your two separate groups I expect you to fight to the death! Well, maybe before you do that you should … Continue reading "Lou Reads Arguments Against Bestiality & Why They Fail"

Have you ever lost something of value mysteriously? You may have thought it was a your thieving junky son, home from college! But perhaps there is something more magical afoot! Have you heard invisible people singing? It doesn’t mean you’re having a psychotic episode or that your forgot you’re wearing an iPod. It could be … Continue reading "Lou Reads all about Real Faeries...