Living Your Truth w/Tavares

My emotions are RAW in every sense. It’s not by nature it’s by design of the absent parent. Raw materials are materials or substances used in the primary production or manufacturing of goods. In this case I’m the goods. Just like you’re the goods. You get me? Ok…cool. Let’s read on. Raw materials are commodities that are bought and sold but in this case they are Inherited and learned. The differen...

Generational trauma is a term used to describe a “passing down” of traumatic impact and emotional fallout. What are examples of Intergenerational Trauma? Domestic violence, Alcohol and drug addiction, Child abuse and neglect, Absent Parent Syndrome, Survivors of domestic violence related trauma. Trauma can leave a chemical mark on a person's genes, which can then be passed down to future generatio...

What is the damage? The damage is all of the unforeseen obstacles. The damage is what keeps me up at night when I can’t settle my mind. The damage is what I continue to deal with without notice. The damage has a way of sneaking up on me and surprising me. The damage never goes away, I just learn how to manage it. See having an absent parent is detrimental to the development of a child. That child...

Moving with aggression. Not having any concept of fear. Dangerously in danger of putting myself in uncomfortable and unsuccessful positions. These have been many of the thoughts that have crossed my mind while growing up. I would always move with a chip on my shoulder. I never quite understood where it came from. I just knew how I felt. I felt angry and sad. I always feel like I’ve moved with an i...

See Yourself - see yourself winning, see yourself over coming obstacles , see yourself obtaining goals. You’re worth it, know that. Don’t let the self doubt stand in your way like I have in my past. It took me a while to get to this point. I’m so glad I’m here now. It’s not always perfect but I’m more present these days in my efforts to be my best self. I’m a kinder, gentler Tavares these days. It...

Pushing Through. When I say it out loud, it hits different. I’ve had to push through so much. Still I keep going. Sometimes I’m not sure why and then other times I’m reminded of why. The journey of “self” is scary and amazing! You never know what you’re going to get or should I say I never know what I’m going to get. Being a person with an absent parent presents so many obstacles. It presents and...

I feel like my personal stock has been affected by my absent parent. The thoughts continue to flow so I roll with them. Some of it I speak on the rest of it I pack away. What is “Personal Stock” simply put yours and my “Self Value” I believe if we treat ourselves better in all ways possible then we give ourselves the benefit of the doubt. Value yourself and trust the process because you love yours...

Fatherhood came to me at a young age, 19. A child raising a child in fact. I had no idea what to do since I didn’t have a father to show me or teach me about Fatherhood. I learned from what I had been exposed to and what I had not. A difficult journey but one that I was determined to be great at. Not having a father made me feel left out, not import and it’s plagued me over my life time. As a fath...

No Love from my father has had its impact. Can I say for the good and the bad? Not so sure. I know what it’s left me without. I know how it’s made me feel uncomfortable, unwanted and even undesirable. I’m discovering things about myself still as an adult and it’s been a heck of a learning experience that’s for sure. I’m grateful for this journey none the less. As awkward as it is at times I just k...

Have you ever felt like you didn’t know what to do when you became upset, mad or angry? You’re not alone. My time on this earth has taught me many things. One of the most important things is “Anger Management”. We must know where to direct and how to direct it in a positive way. We can’t destroy our things or punch walls, doors or things. Definitely can not be putting hands on people, that’s not o...

Left with out a care. That’s what it continues to feel like. The understanding never comes. There are no updates available at all. My thoughts are the only comfort I know. It’s a comfort that has to be familiar with the unfamiliar. I didn’t know that this emotion would come up within me. I am managing an uninvited guest because of what the man who helped give me life. Ya let that sink in. On top o...

Season 5 returns Jan 7 2023. I reflect on my past relationships. I have struggled with abandonment, separation anxiety, ptsd, anger and identifying with my vulnerabilities made me feel like everything was crashing down so I became destructive within the fire 🔥 and that’s when a “switch clicked” and I internalized everything to a maximum read. Generational Trauma is a big deal to me because of the...

I have so many questions but the one person that can answer them is no where to be found. He’s a coward. He’s weak. He’s selfish, self centered and most likely not worth my time. Still I have questions. Questions that matter to me. The impact of these questions never being answered is something I manage daily. If I were to get my questions answered would it make me better as a person? Perhaps or n...

Season 4 premier begins with me (Tavares) opening up about the absence of my father in my life. This has been a long time coming. It won’t all come out at once. We are going to unpack this all season long. Season 4 is definitely going to be emotional. Stay ready so you don’t have to get ready. Sure it’s scary. I’m terrified about unpacking this but it has to be done. I’ve harbored feelings for a v...

This season we will be discussing who we are. What was life like before we arrived into our families? For me I am very interested in why my father didn’t want to be a father to me? It hurts me til this day. It baffles me because his only obligation was to love me and protect me. I realize now I needed that. Wow…..I have never said that out loud. Season 4 will be full of ups and downs! Revealing my...

Adherence! Now there’s a word that’s not used to often. Well at least when it comes to me. I am discussing my experiences with my abilities to stick to my plan or idea or beliefs. Adherence speaks to our “self efficacy” level. If we start something will we finish it? How many times have you started something and not finished it? Ya me too. I have been there and done that only to do it again in hop...

The art of “Rebuilding” well for me it started a very long time ago. I didn’t want to admit it but it needed to be done. I still struggle with the rebuild from time to time. It’s ok to struggle as long as we are doing something about it. We deliver ourselves to the truth so that we are accountable by all accounts. As my life lived on I began to seek out the “rebuilding” process. I began wanting to...

Well…looks like I’m going to go there. Emotions are so many things for so many reasons. It feels that way anyway, for me. It feels like a continuous roller coaster. Sometimes the feeling can feel so good you wanna scream joy. Other times you want to run and hide. I don’t know everything about emotions however I have lived through some dark times to be here with you. I have made it through lovely m...

Power…who wants it? How much of it do you want? Control…who wants more of it? Are you ready for the hood the bad and the ugly of both of these very addictive drugs? Be ready to be enlightened. See I know a lot about both. I nearly destroyed myself and my life with both of these addictions. I was not aware of the amount of influence I could have if I had an abundance of Power and Control. I took it...

Good Vibrations. We’ve all heard the song and felt the vibe. Well it’s kind of like that accept it’s referring to myself and for you, yourself. Our vibrations are a very real thing. People are transmitters of energy. Yes it’s true. We are all made up of molecules and atoms mixed in with a whole lot of water and sugars and spices and well you get it. Protect your energy is one of my mantras I say t...

Wanna drink? Not today! Not for me anyway. I’ve been there done that. Fought hard to be back. Now that I am, I feel like there is so much for me to do. There is so much that I gave up to have a good time. Don’t get me wrong, it was a blast when I was in the moment. I’ll always appreciate the memories, good, bad and otherwise. Alcohol is poison to humans. Ethanol is not intended to be ingested by h...

Are you looking for love or looking to be loved? Love is powerful, strong, kind, crazy, patient, impatient, respectful, admirable, hard, easy and most of all important. We as a society could not function without love. Love is passion and those passions that people have can be useful and helpful. Love definitely has a place in living your truth. You must love yourself first and foremost before you...

Have you been aggressive? Aggressive with yourself? Others? Are you aggressive by nature? Perhaps your circumstances feed into making you become aggressive. It has been a battle for me over my life, especially when I feel I have been done wrong. I would respond with a negative force and vulgar language to make sure you felt how you made me feel. It never turned out well for me when I took that app...

Time…we don’t even know how much we have. Do you always make the best of your time? I have squandered time and I have maximized opportunity within a time frame. Time to some is an illusion. Time plays a crucial roll in who we may or may not become. How you manage your time can or can not have opportunities coming your way. Always find the time for you, it’s you who’s living your truth. Thank you f...

We all have them. Don’t we? I sometimes struggle with my life goals. It’s ok to. You are human after all. With that being said you have a duty to you to be the absolute best version of you. Life and Goals go hand in hand. Be mindful of your passions. Explore your passions and allow your passions to explore you. Allow yourself to like it and it like you so that you get what you like or don’t like o...