Listen Very Carefully - The ’Allo ’Allo! Podcast

The sun is shining and the door to the garden is wide open. Just the weather for a cooling glass of Prosecco. Around Kim's table, the chat, as ever, covers the whereabouts of the famous painting. Plenty of shenanigans as René collaborates with the Germans in trying to convert the stolen gold into cash, including masquerading as a priest in the confessional. Crabtree gets a girlfriend, Derek Royle...

This week’s frlolics in Nouvion, witnessed by Kim, Guy and Richard, involve a secret winking code between Gruber and René. Flick and von Smallhausen, after being arrested, are forced to drag their chains and carry their balls. Helga has another spectacular bedroom scene – this time with Bertorelli – which does not please Herr Flick one bit. Potty Corner is officially launched, with a limerick each...

More merriment in Kim’s kitchen. Laughs aplenty in Fanny’s bedroom as Michelle sets up a radio disguised as a dummy buzzard. Some might say it was not the only buzzard in the room... There is a lot of splashing about as the whole town takes to the local lake for another of the Resistance’s hare-brained schemes. Richard recounts a schoolboy prank, involving a pack of beagles and an aniseed trail. 

Rene opens the episode with a massage. As his ankles disapear behind is ears, who should come in but – you guessed it – Lieutenant Gruber. Outstanding makeup effects as the café staff disguise themselves with the help of the make-up artists of the horror star Boris Karloff. Georgio the cat makes an appearance in Kim's kitchen, while two lovebirds canoodle beak to beak outside the window. Lots of f...

It’s anyone's guess why this episode is called The Gestapo for the High Jump, as there is very little Gestapo, and even less high jumping, but perhaps there were once some scenes that have since  been cut. Interspersed with behind-the-scenes yarns, the Peasants share fond memories of the days when domestic holidays were the norm, and en-suite batrooms were not. Listen out for some observations on...

The more sharp-eyed of our viewers will notice change in the appearance of Monsieur Leclerc. With the loss of Jack Haig between series, his place has been taken by the magnificent farceur, Derek Royle, in the role of his brother, Ernest, and a mighty fine job he makes of it. A high spot of this episode is the magnificent swahbuckling sword fight between Royle and Kenneth Connor, which showcasess t...

Talk in the kitchen turns, as it must from time to time, to sausages – Gorden’s handling of them, and the fact that the saucy innuendo and naughty sight gags went over the heads of the children watching. When Gruber commandeers Helga’s uniform, the patrons of the café are treated to another of her spectacular corsets.

Gathered once more around the kitchen table, the talk turns to Kim’s vexation, lasting 40 years, at being cut from this episode, while Richard learns that he too has been excised. But they manage to put on a brave face, and are soon chuckling at Monsieur Alphonse, whose dicky ticker and tricky truss are put under strain as the ladies of the cafe appear in their scanties. Gruber does not relish sea...

Interesting episode this week, as David Croft aand Jeremy Lloyd stood aside to welcome two new writers – John Chapman and Ian Davidson. The trio discuss slight differences in style, and the verdict overall is deemed to be positive. Much hilarity at Kim’s kitchen table as Guy treats us to impressions of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and a horse. Gorden deftly covers a minor setback, and the team d...

As we reach the 50th episode, agreement is unanimous that the writers Croft and Lloyd are on top form. At a ball for the generals, attended by all the regular characters, Mimi is hidden in a double bass case, while Yvette hides with Monsieur Alphonse in the piano – forcing his dicky ticker into overdrive. Flick and von Smallhausen, disguised as maids, display their pretty ankles, and René risks be...

After a lengthy hiatus, Kim, Guy and Richard are overjoyed to find themselves back in the studio – or kitchen as some people call it – together with Ron and the cats. Subjects under discussion range from marvelling at Gorden’s delivery of his opening monologue, to Kim flipping her knickers on to a hatstand, and an encounter with the New Zealand police while on tour with Su Pollard from Hi de Hi!

In this TV episode, the actors are squashed on to a train set (not a trainset, though not much bigger), and talk about the fun of miming rolling carriages. Richard, believing his scenes were all pre-filmed, plays truant from the studio on a holiday with his fiancée, and Is forced to make a breakneck journey to get back for an unscheduled scene. Guy recounts working with Johnny Depp, and lots of fu...

Now that the podcast is on a short hiatus at the end of Season 2, we bring you a bonus episode – Willing Spirits, a the pilot for a radio sitcom that we created during lockdown, using smartphones and zoom. The cast was scattered across the globe, from Australia to Kent, via Herfordshire and the Cotswolds. This presented a number of challenges, and the quality is not as polished as it would be had...

Gathered around Kim’s table once again, the Peasants talk about Kim removing Richard’s trousers, sharing a jacuzzi with the red hot 1980s’ band Curiosity Killed the Cat, and many other matters of world importance. As they toast the final episode of Season 2 of the podcast with a glass of Prosecco (any excuse), Richard is made to drink his from a plastic cup, as he is not to be trusted with glass....

Plenty of the usual lively chat from Kim’s kitchen. Monsieur Leclerc puts in a brief appearance as an exploding pudding seller, but is ejected before he has a chance to speak. In a scene involving Lieutenant Gruber, the writers are powerless to resist a “they eat faggots for breakfast gag”. Kim’s unusually tanned complexion and the liveliness of the acting hint at a recent break from filming. Disg...

The  episode commences with a duet from René and Edith. Needless to say, one of them is more in tune than the other. The airmen, concealed in a pair of large mines, are being trained in how to release themselves in mid-air by unscrewing their nuts. Once again, despite elaborate groundwork by Michelle of the Resistance, things do not go according to plan. In the kitchen, Kim’s hospitality towards h...

René has arrived at the café still wearing his hospital gown after last week's escapade. The fun starts right away as Gruber makes an entrance, and René tries to avoid turning around. Flick orders von Smallhausen to be smuggled into the mortuary, disguised as a corpse, Bertorelli’s trousers are used to hide the money, and the Colonel impersonates a French peasant on the telephone. Despite starting...

The Peasants have to persuade themselves to come in from Kim and John's sunlit garden to record this week’s pod. But it turns out to be no hardship, as the episode gallops along. Monsieur Alphonse finds himself in Herr Flick's cellar, being questioned by Helga in connection with the money from the bank robbery. But the sight of her stocking tops is too much for his dicky ticker, and he soon finds...

Life doesn't get any simpler for René – as ever. While the long-distance duck is made ready for launch, carrying microfilm of the German plan for the invasion of England, she produces a clutch of ducklings. As the Colonel and Gruber divvy up the bank robbery money, Helga takes exception to being short changed over her share. Out in the town square, Crabtree orders a pound of “wonkles” from Flick a...

Life doesn't get any simpler for René – as ever. While the long-distance duck is made ready for launch, carrying microfilm of the German plan for the invasion of England, she produces a clutch of ducklings. As the Colonel and Gruber divvy up the bank robbery money, Helga takes exception to being short changed over her share. Out in the town square, Crabtree orders a pound of “wonkles” from Flick a...

The team marvel at the inventiveness of the writers, David Croft and Jeremy Lloyd, who had to deliver a continuous series of 26 episodes with no outside help. The scale of the task boggles the mind, and yet there is tons of plot, gags aplenty, and lots of disguises. These include, once again, Mimi and Herr Flick in prams, dressed as unlikely babies, pushed by René in the garb of a priest and Helga...

Following the fiasco in the previous episode involving the mix-up with the generals and their disguises, Gruber and the Colonel are in big trouble with the top brass, and make a plan to hide out in the Vatican until after the war. Needless to say, things do not quite go according to plan. As René makes himself handy with some bricklaying, Guy and Richard recall their days doing building work in be...

As René puts it in his opening speech, it is just a normal Tuesday in wartorn France. After nearly blowing Herr Flick to smithereens, he prepares to flee Nouvion, but is saved at the last minute by Lieutenant Gruber. Herr Flick, following his ordeal, is in bandages and chains – which Helga wastes not time in yanking. Yvette and Michelle of the Resisitance have a heart-to-heart about their feelings...

In spite of Bertorelli’s efforts with his pistol in the previous episode, the homing duck turns out not to be dead – just having a little rest. Monsieur Alphonse attempts to take its temperature in an intimate fashion, and is rewarded with a faceful of feathers. There is high entertainment when the duck turns out to be a she, and lays an egg in Fanny’s bed. René masquerades as a French general, co...

Welcome once more to Kim’s kitchen, where there is fun to be had with René and the staff, trying as ever to please the Resistance as well as the Germans. In the mcourse of a summit meeting at the chateau of a collection of German generals, René has been ordered by Michelle to photograph a map of their planned invasion, using a prosthetic arm and a little knob under his apron. Kim, Guy and Richard...