Listen Up And No One Gets Hurt

Send us Fan Mail What would you do with $40k worth of beer? Well we have no idea what they did with it, however today with our special guest, Kenan Kaya, we give our comedic take on not one, but two beer truck heists.  Heading down to Montclair, CA where in the same day 2 truckloads of beer went missing and the company that shipped them offered a very strange reward bracket..??? Then it's tim...

Send us Fan Mail What do the Chiu Brothers' Nordstrom Scheme, sibling survival strategies, and a pope who put his predecessor on trial have in common? More than you'd think. We're unpacking outrageous stories of family alliances, calculated betrayals, corporate con games, and religious power plays. From the department store to the Vatican, we're exploring the people who schemed...

Send us Fan Mail What happens when Pedro and Deb from Napoleon Dynamite, a police officer, and Captain Jack Sparrow all come together to talk crime and comedy? The first annual No One Gets Hurt Podcast Halloween Episode of course!!!!! And what a way to celebrate as we welcome back special guest, Gil! And as a bonus, his girlfriend and podcast partner Amber joins us as well! We take a deep dive int...

Send us Fan Mail Have you ever ordered DoorDash and didn't receive your order? Well it happened to today's subject to the tune of over $1m in orders... On today's episode we welcome special guest, Paulina Perez and on the menu of discussion, a woman who pretended to be an influencer for free spoils, who ended up defrauding DoorDash out of over $1m! We also talk to Paulina about her...

Send us Fan Mail Golf isn't just a gentleman's game. Apparently it's also a criminal enterprise??? On today's episode we welcome special guest, Mark Smalls to unpack a wild hole-in-one scam, the Kim bros' LA tee-time schedule, and of course Tonio's unpredictable Prison Pop Quiz! Its golf, crime, and comedy where No One Gets Hurt! Like & Subscribe for more true cri...

Send us Fan Mail TOUCHDOWNS, 0. MISSING MONEY, $400K. On today's episode we welcome special guest, Dino Hasanagic, and we tackle a Southern California high school fundraising scandal involving missing booster club money, fraud and some questionable financial decisions by a high school mom. She allegedly stole nearly $400k from the Aliso Niguel football program. Our guest, Dino, gives a contro...

Send us Fan Mail Have you stolen any crypto lately? We hope not but the subject of today's conversation stole A LOT. Today we welcome special guest, Lucas Sisro and we discuss a 22yo man named Malone Lam, who was allegedly the ringleader of a crypto theft team. We dive into their tactics and tally up the total amount of crypto they stole (hint: it's A LOT) Then, Tonio is back with anothe...

Send us Fan Mail Do you think, in the age of information, it should be common practice to fact check things? Welllllll, apparently some people fail to do this and unfortunately become victims of a scam. Today we welcome special guest, Ricky Lopez, and we offer our comedic takes on Daejon Love, a man who allegedly scammed over 60 women out of more than $1.3 million by convincing them he played for...

Send us Fan Mail If someone told you the ruby red slippers from 'The Wizard of Oz' were made of real rubies, would you believe them? On today's episode, we welcome special guest, Suzi Chicago and we jump down the rabbit hole of a heist of silly, ridiculous proportions.  A museum was broken into and the culprit stole the authentic screen worn ruby red slippers from the film. At an es...

Send us Fan Mail How does a run of the mill burglary turn into a potential international crime/spy ring? IT'S EPISODE 25!!! And today we welcome special guest, Johnny Roque, and we discuss the curious case of a couple who tragically died in a helicopter accident, then were the postmortem victims of burglary. As the mystery unravels, what police find after catching the suspects throws a surpri...

Send us Fan Mail What do you know about polka? Do you know where it originated? Do you know what awards there are for polka music? Did you know that a grammy nominated polka artist created a multimillion dollar Ponzi scheme? Today we welcome special guest, Jeff King, and we dive into the tale of Polka King Jan Lewan, and his descent from grammy nominated artist to Ponzi scheme operator.  Then we f...

Send us Fan Mail Kingpin:  a person or thing that is essential to the success of an organization or operation KingPenn:  today's topic Take a trip with us to a place the locals call "Happy Valley" to none other than Penn State University. Some dirty dealings by today's guest's "celebrity look-alike" led to some serious charges against a man who very strangely (al...

Send us Fan Mail Croatian comedy, Croatian food, ćevapi controversy… and one of the wildest credit union frauds you’ve probably never heard of. 🇭🇷 Croatian comedian Stanko joins No One Gets Hurt to explain what the comedy scene is really like in Croatia, why you should apparently NEVER call ćevapi a sausage, and some Croatian cultural rules we definitely did not know before this episode. Then we g...

Send us Fan Mail What do the Kentucky Derby, herbs and spices, California freeways and a million-dollar bribery scheme have in common? Apparently today's guest?!?! Today we welcome special guest, Tyler Gooch for an episode involving Kentucky roots, government corruption, questionable favors, and the logistics of allegedly accepting home renovations as a bribe? Tyler tells us about growing up...

Send us Fan Mail On this week's episode JJ & Tonio welcome special guest, Mikey Barajas! We dive into the financial crimes of Joseph Francis, and a bank robbery involving a cat?!?! The mood is light, the jokes are heavy, but Joseph's charges are heavier. As always, we also discuss past and upcoming comedy adventures and let the conversation flow in whichever direction it might.  You...

Send us Fan Mail If someone offered you the winning lotto numbers, would you take them? What if it was in a state where you can't claim your winnings anonymously?  And what if it was to the tune of about $16.5m? On today's episode, JJ & Tonio welcome special guest Tek Ho and they dive into the tale of a man who basically had a cheat code to the lotto. They also discuss what they woul...

Send us Fan Mail This week JJ & Tonio welcome special guest, Kimia Hashemian and the trio take a deep dive into a tale of revenge How far would you go to get back at someone you felt did you wrong? What's your favorite conspiracy theory? How do you pronounce San Pedro? All of these questions answered in typical hilarious fashion on this week's episode

Send us Fan Mail Could you use $150,000?? Do you have detective skills? Do you enjoy laughing? Then you've come to the right place! This week JJ & Tonio welcome special guest, Timmy De La Cruz to the show and things get a little... interesting. We bring current, still open cases to the table as we take a deep dive into one of America's most wanted swindlers, Christopher W Burns. Then...

Send us Fan Mail Fake cards... From Pokémon to credit. On this week's episode, we welcome the "Grand Poobah" of the Orange County comedy scene, Daniel Zambrano, and cover two unbelievable but true crime stories: A man convicted of selling fraudulent Pokémon cards whose criminal background is somehow even more outlandish than the scam itself-- including a brinks truck robbery with an...

Send us Fan Mail This week JJ & Tonio welcome a very special guest, Steve Walden, their 5th subscriber who wrote in and asked to be on the show! They'll be breaking down the alleged $100 million Orange County bank fraud tied in with one of the largest fraud-based arbitration awards involving Southern California commercial real estate to the tune of $1.34 billion (yes with a B), plus the b...

Send us Fan Mail Pack your bags! JJ & Tonio welcome special guest, Jesse Ace and we're headed to Switzerland, France and Greece (circa 300 A.D.) First, we dive into the shocking allegations against wealth manager Eric Freeman, accused of draining fortunes from some of the world's wealthiest clients. Was he a magician or a bad manager? Because he made millions... maybe even billions d...

Send us Fan Mail On this week's episode, JJ & Tonio welcome special guest, Herb. They dive into the rise and fall of boy band mastermind Lou Pearlman, contracts to Ponzi schemes Plus: police arrests and traffic stops that went sideways Tonio reveals the time he was pulled over by a horse?! And as always, the three C's: Crime, Comedy and Chaos, just the way we like it.

Send us Fan Mail This week JJ & Tonio welcome special guest, Gil Chris. Topics this week include comedy, a chemical spill, an oil spill, Orphanage scams and true tales from inside the IRS!

Send us Fan Mail This week JJ & Tonio welcome special guest John Liu and the group discuss topics including a couple heavy hitters in the scam industry such as Robert Shapiro and Tom Girardi! They continue to expand on their list of what NOT to do if you happen into a large sum of illegal money. Tonio self reflects on a few of his own crimes?!?! Thank you for listening and as always if you&apo...

Send us Fan Mail WELCOME TO EPISODE 10!!! On today's episode, JJ & Tonio Welcome special guest JP. On today's agenda, the black market. From Lego pasta to cheese that's just as good as currency.  They discuss how scammers evolve with the times, reminisce on early school days, their thoughts on children using profanity and sneaking into VIP as adults.  Get ready for a lot of laug...