Listen To Sassy: Life In The 90s

The one thing everyone knows about modeling is that they want you to be tall. Nancy Brensson, one of the cover models for December's reader-produced issue, thinks she should still give it a shot at 5'6". How does it go? Spoiler: pretty much how you'd expect. (Sorry!) Height does keep coming up, though, from 5'11" Janet in an all-Sassy fashion/beauty staff editorial spread to a 5'1" Zits And Stuff...

After being so excited in the October 1991 Teen Life episode that the Ian Svenonius era was over, HERE HE IS AGAIN in What Now, along with stories on Wig Out, Brad Pitt, and Bulgarian wedding music. Your co-hosts are bitterly divided on the films of Mike Leigh, but come back together on Mary's Danish. Did One To Watch live up to his designation? Was Mike's report on his time as an extra in Freddy'...

Can you maintain a close relationship with your best friends from high school? What's it like to have a port wine birthmark? How many guys say they've been cheated on? And…what's up with the Israeli-Palestinian peace process? One of these things is obviously not like the others, which is why we leave it to you to discover rather than wading into the quagmire ourselves. But! We also tell you about...

Are you school-phobic? Given that most of our listeners who regularly get near a school are probably students' parents or teachers, we...hope not? But we mentally traveled back in time to take Sassy's September 1991 quiz, "Are You School-Phobic?," to rate ourselves from our high school days. Then it's time to listen to your latest calls: you're listening to Good Hang, taking your kids to swim meet...

From our current place in world history, we know that Dirt -- the Sassy offshoot targeted at Sassy readers' boyfriends, brothers, and friends from the skate park -- had a brief but interesting run. But in September 1991, Dirt was just a dream that required a preview issue as proof of concept, and it came to Sassy readers along with that month's issue of its parent magazine. Is it obvious that this...

The staff of Sassy is probably hoping you already finished your back-to-school shopping, because this month's fashion editorials are not their most inspired. You can wear French-y stripes or bone and beige shades straight out of the Spiegel catalogue, or possibly destroy a skirt to make yourself some fringe. If you're feeling bold, you can sneak into a tattoo studio or piercing pagoda. But maybe y...

The pop culture Sassy covers in the September issue includes some venerable names: Prince, Duran Duran, Violent Femmes. But there are some thrilling new ones, too. All the women who work in the music industry that Christina profiles, getting readers hyped about how to get jobs like theirs. Reese Witherspoon, a mere 14 years old in her breakout movie, The Man In The Moon! All the Commitments from T...

Tara needs to thank the scissor-happy Sassy reader who sold her the podcast's original copy of the September 1991 issue, because if not for the missing pages (full and partial), we would never have had to acquire another copy of the same issue and find out there were TWO VERSIONS of the cover -- one lipsticked and glossy, one nude-lipped and matte! Stand by as Pam uses her angles to try to get the...

How health-conscious are we, according to Sassy's August 1991 quiz? Quite, as long as you have no follow-up questions! After sharing our results (and complaints) about that, it's on to your calls on subjects including (but not limited to) Nad's, dry brushing, Little House On The Prairie, Hypercolor t-shirts, Gantt charts, Kevin Coogan -- and, of course, Christmas piles, because 'tis always the sea...

We know this issue landed in mid- to late July, but can it ever be too early to start thinking about your back-to-school wardrobe? Sassy invites you to imagine yourself as a Coco Chanel knockoff, an intimidatingly cool biker chick, or a face and a couple of limbs with monochromatic garments laid on top of you. (It'll make sense when you see it.) You can also learn about eye makeup, hair brushes, k...

The August 1991 issue has a few pop culture topics to go deep on. Guns 'N Roses gets covered with a What Now concert review AND a review of Danny Sugerman's very pretentious-sounding book about them in the brand-new column Read It (though probably don't; it only earns one pip as the month's book bomb). Paula Abdul gets a bomb review of her new album Spellbound AND name-checked as "Paula Abdrool" i...

August 1991 is the thickest issue we've had in quite a while, but those extra pages were not set aside for Teen Life topics -- in fact, there isn't even a fiction story! There are, however, Kim's try-out for American Gladiators, Christina's musings on long-distance boyfriend pros and cons, a What He Said on breast size, a quick trip over a bridge (or through a tunnel) to Brooklyn for On The Road,...

We're just back from a nearly two-month break. We took two VERY confrontational quizzes ("Are You A News Moron?" and "Are You An Annoyance?"). We...barely remember how to do this, so please enjoy a basically unedited stream of thought conversation on wedgies, Margaret Thatcher, Antarctica, huffing in an unventilated garage, and much much more! QUICK LINKS 🗒 Full episode notes can be found on this...

The hot dogs are sizzling, the fireworks are firing, and July 1991 cover model Rochelle is telling Sassy George Washington never meant shit to her and that HER Independence Day is January 1, the day the Emancipation Proclamation was signed. HELL YEAH! ...There is more to the issue, but it doesn't really compare. One fashion story is in gray; the other is red, white, blue, and American flag print f...

It's summer, and everyone at Sassy is already too hot to work. Christina admits that What Now is kind of a flop -- she's even a month late mentioning Ian Svenonius's birthday! (It's June 1, in case you also want to mark your calendar for the most important event of the year.) One To Watch Jamie Walters, we can now agree, burned bright in his moment, but that his moment did not last long. And then...

The editors use an antique slur (sadly surging back to popularity) to describe a contributor's mentally handicapped sister, but let's not focus on that when the piece -- especially the photos it's built around -- is thoughtful and sensitive. Then, we can move on to why and how to dump a guy; no, taking you to the library isn't one of the reasons, though it does come up. Mike reports from the McDon...

Just in case you haven't already picked out every bathing suit you're going to need for the summer of 1991, Sassy's bringing you one more fashion story on bikinis. Hope you like the way Bronwyn models them because there's very little variation in her poses! The issue also covers vaguely pan-Latin American looks, some kind of fairy tale beauty story, bandana and patchwork-y prints, and how to keep...

Is "rotted" cooler slang than "rotten"? How "monotone" can Beat Happening's lead vocalist actually be? How does Christina rate the relative cuteness of Aleka's Attic, River Phoenix's band? Has the time come for a Toy Soldiers remake? Is it acceptable to call Winona Ryder "Noni"? These are but a few of the questions we answer in the June 1991 Pop Culture episode. We also have a few about Alek Keshi...

Well, there's no way around it: the very first feature is about Black activism, written by a white author (Kim) who gets no help from her editor on how not to sound tone-deaf as she describes being judged by the color of her skin or feeling unwelcome in Black spaces. So let's quickly dispense with it and move on to the rest. Karen finds three couples to talk about their couplehood. Amy Turner -- w...

Sassy's May 1991 quiz dares you to determine whether you're a big fat bore...but it could be that this is a more stressful prospect for a teenager than for a middle-aged person who's come to terms with liking TV and Cheetos. After comparing our own results, we move on to some of your latest calls on topics like how a recent vest makeover project worked out in real life, pro tips on Kool-Aid hair d...

School's about to end for summer, and Sassy is ready. It's got plaids for the bocce court. It's got swimsuits for...swimming. It's got tips for changing your hair color with a beverage........again. And it's got tons of historic inspiration if you want to make a BIG change to your look. It's also faking the news a little bit and of COURSE Neill is the offender there. Post up by the pool (indoors i...

Pam is on assignment, but Dave and Tara are bravely carrying on without her. What Now brings us such items as the first news blurb Tara probably ever saw about the Texas mom who came up with a murder-for-hire scheme to advance her 13-year-old daughter's cheerleading career to the 1,000,000th update on reigning Sassiest Boy In America Ian Svenonius (LET IT END). Jane admits she can't be objective a...

It's May 1991, and Sassy knows exactly what your mom wants most for Mother's Day: you following her around the house quoting statistics about how bad school sucks in this country! When she tells you to give it a rest, you can learn about Kim Frey, a young woman living with HIV, or why you should consider making friends with boys. (It's not because they have amazing answers to the What He Said ques...

With Pam out handling a family emergency (everything's okay now!), Dave and Tara bravely handle the Slumber Party on their own. After sharing their results from the "Are You Parent-Tolerant?" quiz, it's on to your calls: one serious one about Pam's massage story, then a lot of silly ones about: other places spooge has unexpectedly appeared; what to try if your nails are weak; that vulnerable feeli...

It's spring...but summer is just around the corner. Start dressing for summer in holiday-ready gingham and all white eyelet everything! We get a moment-by-moment report on the process of shooting a Sassy cover, starting with the model's birth. (No: seriously.) The staff is trying tights, ruining a scarf, moving offices, and so much more. Pull up your bloomers and listen! QUICK LINKS 🗒 Full episode...