Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

My friend Dr. Paul McDonugh (spine surgeon, married father of 4, Active LDS, Lives in Texas) joins us to talk about his insightful new book. Paul discusses why does Scripture present truths that contradict each other? For example: If God is perfectly consistent, why are his words so contradictory? We are told to trust completely—but also question, seek, and wrestle God commands us to ask, seek, an...

** This episode talks about suicide. If you are suicidal, please call, text 988 ** My friend JaQuavious Harris (late 20s, lives in Utah, world class runner including a 2:13 marathon finish) joins us to share his story about Jesus being the center of everything and his invitation for all of us to do the same. JaQuavious shares: Growing up LDS in South Carolina. Mother had him at age 13 Love of runn...

My friends Patrick Mason (Holds the Leonard J. Arrington Chair of Mormon History and Culture at Utah State University) and Melissa Mason (Clinical Social Worker, Master of Social Work, Utah State University) join us to talk about their new book called “Rooted: Centering Christ in Everything” The authors share that too often, Latter-day Saints have centered their religious lives on rules, worthines...

My friend Thomas Hostetter (mid-30s, lives in southern Colorado, engaged to be married to his future husband, deep testimony of the Church) joins us to share his remarkable story, including: - Growing up and having an interest in men—but never realizing he was gay - After his mission, falling in love with his straight roommate, realizing he might be gay, and experiencing heartbreak when that frien...

My friend Jess Porter (oldest of six, Hong Kong RM, married husband in 2015) joins us to share his super unique and remarkable story including: New he was different as a child—but felt loved and supported by his family Didn’t fit in with the boys—had lots of girlfriends (but never romantic) Felt belonging with the high school swim team Went on a mission (still closeted) praying “God will finally c...

My friend Heidi (straight) and Daniel (gay) join us to share their powerful story including: Daniel came out to Heidi about 6 years ago, after 18 years of marriage Their marriage today is more honest, healthier, and stronger than it has ever been Things that helped Daniel end shame, find hope, and why he came out to Heidi. How Heidi (who became a Marriage and Family Therapist during this time) nav...

My friends Dr. Lance Peterson and Dr. Angela Baerwolf join us to talk about their new research called “Acceptance Journeys of LDS Families of their LGB Child: An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis”. Their article is published in the “Families in Society: The Journal of Contemporary Social Servies” (see show notes). Lance and Angela talk about how their team (which includes Sarah Chan Peterso...

Dr. Jennifer Dobberfuhl Quinlan (PhD in Instructional Psychology and Technology from BYU, MTC Director managed the language curriculum development across more than 60 languages, mother of 3, early 50s,) joins us to share her story including: Being sexually fluid Having few resources and others with the same shared experience to give perspective and hope Lots of advice from people—much of which was...

This is a short podcast where I read excerpts from three Substack articles on this subject: Substack excerpt one: My thoughts on this subject as a former YSA Bishop Full Substack: https://papaostler.substack.com/p/thoughts-on-masturbation-after-serving Substack excerpt two: Anonymous male: “My lifelong struggle against masturbation and shame, and how individuals, families and the church as a whole...

** This episode talks about suicide. If you are suicidal, please call/text/chat *988 *** My friends Jake and Joe Sharp (twin brothers in their 20s, from Mesa Arizona, brother Sam died by suicide 16 while they were missionaries) talk about their work: * Being mental health advocates and fitness coaches to help others find hope and end shame * Helping those who are suicidal find hope and how Sam tie...

My friend Pam Shepherd, a communications professional at George Mason University and a sixth-generation Latter-day Saint, joins us to share some of her journey growing up Mormon while not always feeling like she fit the traditional Mormon mold. Pam talks about navigating that experience at BYU and later as a young single adult in the Washington, DC area. She also discusses her desire to better und...

My friend Parker Vassau (married father of 3, business owner—marketing and pest control, longtime friend) joins us to share his story: Unexpected illness at age 14—tumor, complications, and not being able to eat for four months Principles to serve a successful mission—Parker knows this well after serving in Bulgaria. Not being defined by his ACT score of 16 Vision a BYU teacher have game him—actin...

Matt Mosman (friend from BYU MBA school, prior senior vice president of development at Oracle, currently general parter of venture capital firm in Salt Lake, well known expert on mergers and acquisitions), joins us to share the story of being called as the High Councilor over the Bay Ward in San Francisco and all they did to help the gay men and women feel welcome at Church. Those efforts includin...

My friend Doug Staker (father of three, Master of Architecture from UCLA, Principal Architect with Squaremoon Studio, lives in Salt Lake City) joins us to share the story of the genesis of Sanctuary—a physical structure representing safely/love/acceptance that was first part of Utah Pride in 2018. Doug talks about his gay brother Thomas and becoming curious and going on a trip where he asked, “tel...

My friend Dan Hamby (married father of four) joins us to share his super powerful story of meeting with and ultimately forgiving the man who murdered his father Everett when Dan was 7 years old. Dan talks he wasn’t looking to connect with or forgive his father killer—but how that unlikely connection was established by his seminary teacher. Dad talks about how forgiving his father killer helped him...

My friendCameron Call (age 40, lives in Arizona, chiropractor, mixed orientation married for ten years, divorced seven years ago, father of three, married his husband 18 months ago) joins us to share his super vulnerable and powerful story: * Navigating gay pornography as a teenager and his attraction to men * Terrified he might be attracted to men—did everything he could to not be gay * Serving a...

My friends Dave and Kirty Zimmerman (married parents of four, active LDS, live in Utah County) join us to share their story of loving/supporting their gay son Dallin who came out at age 13 and is currently serving a mission. Highlights include: * Age 13: “Mom, What if I’m Gay?” * Dave, Kirty, and Dallin walking that road alone for three years without telling anyone. Very difficult road for all thr...

My friend Dr. Taylor Petrey (prior editor of Dialogue: a journal of Mormon thought, BA in philosophy and religion from Pace University, and both an MTS and a Th. D. degree from Harvard Divinity School in New Testament and Early Christianity, Professor at Kalamazoo College) joins us to talk about his new Dialogue article called: “History and Theology of Trans and Nonbinary Identity in the Church of...

My friend Lucas Montoya (gay/queer, mid-20s, lives/works in Texas, RM, University of Chicago graduate) joins us to share his powerful story: * Founding of “RELIC” by LDS connected students at the University of Chicago (community, support, and Journal) * Overview of the articles in the RELIC Journal (see show notes) * Writing is a tool for building community * Lucas’ own journey to go from deep sha...

My friend Olivia Burnett (mid-20s, Utah State graduate, University of Utah MBA) joins us to share her some of her personal story and her groundbreaking and highly successful podcast called “Twenty Something with Olivia Burnett” (see show notes). * Death of her dad Kevin and the resulting depression * Super honest and vulnerable sharing of her depression (feeling lost, forgotten and confused), what...

My friend Hannah Larson (age 30, lives in New York, RM, founder of Humans of BYU, former seminary teacher, single) joins us to share her story. Hannah talks about: Powerful testimony of God’s love for all of us—and deep desire for everyone to feel that . Author of Diary of a Mormon Girl Teaching seminary—but being let go after one year. Super traumatizing experience. Put her whole soul into that a...

My friend John Bushman (30+ years teaching Institute/Seminary) joins us to talk about his new book “King Before Kingdom: Faithful Revival Within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints”. In this episode and his book, John talks about specific areas we can improve our culture so that more feel welcome and needed. John also talks about moving from a checklist/legalistic approach to living th...

My friend Jon Larsen (married father of three, lives in Cedar City, 25+ years clinical experience) and Brooklyn Larsen (BYU student, early returned missionary from Argentina, service missionary) join us to talk about their new and needed podcast called “Returned Stronger”. The podcast (and Jon’s life coaching work) focuses on helping early return missionaries find their way forward on principles b...

My friend Kari Bates (mother of six, lives in Elko NV, life coach) and Kimberly Bates (HR professional living in NYC) joins us to talk about their new podcast called “Coffee and Cocoa”. Their podcast focused on how Kari and Kimberly reframed/rebuilt their relationship on five core principles after Kimbery left the Church. They talk about the early years, the mistakes they made, and how they learne...

My friend Jerry Chong (active LDS, Temple worker, many leadership callings, lives in Calgary Canada, convert, powerful advocate for LGBTQ inclusion) joins us to share his story (was on Episode 41, 8 years ago): Advocacy work with Stake and Ward Leaders across the world (Canada, USA, UK, Brazil, etc) How to approach stake presidents and ward leaders to engage them in LGBTQ Inclusion and Sensitivity...