Like, seriously? with Colleen Stewart Podcast

Despite the suggestion from Microsoft Word’s artificial intelligence tool that I let it draft a short article on how to volunteer at a non-profit organization or create a summer shopping list, I have decided to use my natural intelligence for a topic I am thinking about and, in my view, is more pressing. That is, where on God’s green earth is a Canadian woman supposed to go these days to buy socks...

When I was six, watching television was easy. I would roll into the living room on my plastic Ride On Fire Truck and park next to the couch where my parents would be nestled, my father pointing the four-button Zenith Space Command remote control channel changer at the only television in the house. Deciding what to watch took seconds. We had four channels, fifteen shows that played at specific time...

In 1954, on a grey winter day, five-year-old Jackie McKee snowshoes along a railway track somewhere north of Sudbury in Canada. The photo, one of many that have captivated me at the Canadian National Railway School on Wheels Museum in Clinton, Ontario, Canada, is taken from behind. Jackie’s wool pants balloon around his tiny frame as he starts his three-quarter-of-a-mile walk home for lunch, alone...

For my readers who are craving another Dash, Brock, or Colleen story, have no fear. There is a hike and a homemade chilli sauce adventure to write about. But now, a rant. This is not so much tongue-in-cheek as gnash-my-teeth while I pull at my hair and ask Brock to search for single family homes in Warsaw, Poland. The provinces of Nova Scotia and New Brunswick have delivered perfect rant fodder, a...

It was when Dash vomited a mass the size of a baby camel that I decided I should take him to the vet. Thankfully, my black American short hair is equipped with two features not mentioned at the animal shelter when, five years ago, I decided a cat might fill the void left by the aloof 18-year-old boy who had left my home to start university. The first is what I have come to call the Barf Alarm. I h...

Last month, I did the unthinkable. Unthinkable to many Canadians anyway. I traveled to the United States. Around the same time, CTV News reported a 31.4% drop in Canadians crossing the border and CBC News told me the number one reason for that drop is fear. If this is true, that means for every ten Canadians who hear I crossed the border, a little fewer than three will gnash their teeth, wail in h...

Tesla stock has sunk. And with it my hopes of retiring on a beach under a Palapa, sipping Pina Coladas and writing that three-part historical novel I am researching. At this rate, I will be lucky to write X posts in a booth at McDonald’s. On my coffee break. When I start to wail, “WHY??!!” after logging into my investments and seeing the moon-sized crater taken from Tesla’s stock value, I must rem...

I will admit. Writing humour is NOT easy during a simmering trade war that could destroy our country’s economy. Despite tough talk about retaliation from some of this country’s politicians, TikTok videos abound with armchair economists pacing in the snow and predicting the next Great Depression, the worst unemployment in one hundred years, and, in some cases, the end of Canada altogether. Most Can...

This past Friday, I went to AquaFit wearing a pair of gold earrings my mom had given me. Purchased fifty years ago from a jeweller in Ottawa, the earrings are small gold balls cut in a lace-like pattern. They had been a favourite of my mom’s until she finally admitted she never wore them and gave them to me. Now, they sat in my earlobes as I entered the packed YMCA pool, paddled my way to the deep...

I used to think I would not like getting old because of the physical changes. More wrinkles around the eyes, less hair around the crown of my head, and more body parts than I care to count sagging in defeat to that eternal opponent, gravity. It turns out, I do not mind those changes as much as I thought I would. I have avoided Botox, found a hairdresser who can hide thinning spots, and willingly p...

Is it just me or is art weird these days? Now, I am no sculptor or painter. As any Like, Seriously subscriber who has read “’That doesn’t make any sense’ and other truths about Paint Nite” will know, I will not win any art competitions. But while I may not be an accomplished creator, I am an experienced viewer. Growing up in the 1970’s, long before I made it to Europe to marvel at the Mona Lisa, D...

In 1985, I had an English teacher named Nick DiMarco. Mr. DiMarco rarely spoke, spoke quietly when he did, and accompanied moments of silence and speech with a look of anguished torment. Now that I am a mature adult who has completed more than one workplace personality assessment, I recognize Mr. DiMarco was an introvert whose quirks likely inspired fond admiration in people his age. But in 1985,...

Previously published on this Substack, this piece was a fun one to record. With spring springing and Pride flags just around the corner, it seemed a good time to revisit Canadians’ obsession with safety. Oh! To be in Greece! Three Greek ladies who probably won’t warn you about the consequences of rude or abusive behaviour, or try to dissuade you from driving the hairpin turns. This is a public epi...

Keep scrolling if you prefer to read and enjoy an original illustration by Canmore artist, Caroline Marion. Note: the text below states that I do not snore loudly. After vehement disagreement with that statement by Canmore artist, Caroline Marion, who once shared a back country ranger’s cabin with me after a day of hiking, and my son, Julian, who has suffered many sleepless nights while on vacatio...

Hello Like, Seriously? subscribers! I am holding you at bay while Caroline Marion completes another hilarious drawing for the next instalment. Here is another oldie but goodie. The tale of a birthday gift gone wrong (or did it go right?). Paint Nite. Enjoy! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit colleenstewart.substack....

This story first appeared on Like, Seriously? back in November. Now, enjoy the antics of Dash the cat while you ride to the gym, the grocery store or, maybe, to the pet store! And yes, he really does drink out of the toilet bowl. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit colleenstewart.substack.com/subscribe

Aug. 21, 2017, was still a sunny day when I pulled two cereal boxes out of my kitchen pantry, stuffed one plastic interior bag into the other, and cut a small rectangle out of the bottom of the now-empty box. A sudden idea had propelled me to ask Google, “how do I watch a solar eclipse with a cereal box?” Now I was tearing foil, grabbing scissors, and hunting for tape to build a pinhole projector...

A recent motion passed in the City of Toronto should reassure residents how seriously their Mayor and Council are taking the harsh realities of one in ten Torontonians visiting a food bank, more tents popping up in parks where children should be playing, and hopeful homebuyers watching inflation steal their dream and replace it with the second-highest rent in the country. A thoughtful plan to alle...

If you are like me and you have finally taken down the Christmas lights and have a couple of back-to-school weeks under your belt, you might just now be thinking about New Year’s resolutions. If you are also like me, this thinking might happen while scrolling through social media posts when you should be at the gym, knowing you have a piece to write about New Year’s resolutions but choosing instea...

In October, I was shocked to read that the Canadian Human Rights Commission had declared Christmas to be discriminatory. Like many thoughtful consumers of the news today, I read the three-word headline, let my emotions run wild, and cursed the idiocy of “them” before moving to the next piece of click-bait. But now, a month into the Christmas season and having had some time to reflect on Christmase...

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit colleenstewart.substack.com/subscribe