Life Over Coffee

Dying to yourself is the hardest assignment God will ever give you. It is not a one-time altar call, not an emotional moment at a retreat, not a dramatic breaking point you pass through and never revisit. Death to self is a repeated act of surrender, a daily funeral for the autonomous version of you that still longs to run your life independently of God. The good news is that the Lord never comman...

Shows Main Idea – In this fourth lesson, Rick talks about how we have all been hurt and have hurt others. Therefore true repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation are needed. This seven-part series builds one upon the other, so watching them in order is best. We also recommend you watch the video to read the content, see all the animations, and download all the supplemental graphics. Afterward,...

Striving for self-generated perfection is as futile as attempting to save ourselves because it perpetuates internal turmoil and frustrates our closest friends. Though God does not want us to live sloppy, haphazard lives, He does want us to know that perfection comes through our weaknesses—our inability to be perfect, not our strengths. The appeal of God’s Word is clear; if we’re going to boast, ma...

If our aim is perfection, we have two options. We can strive to be perfect through our strengths or accept someone else’s perfection as ours. The first option is not tenable because we cannot live mistake-free, unless we lowered the high standard of perfection to meet its requirements, leaving us with the second option as a breath of fresh air. To have someone vouch for us by providing their perfe...

Shows Main Idea – In this third lesson, Rick makes a case that as described and demonstrated in Scripture, strong godly relationships provide the plan and pathway to build well with others. This seven-part series builds one upon the other, so watching them in order is best. We also recommend you watch the video to read the content, see all the animations, and download all the supplemental graphics...

An unguarded strength is a double weakness because we rarely guard our strengths because we think of them as good, not realizing that our abilities can entrap us, keeping us from relying on God. Let me illustrate my point with a counseling session with a mother and daughter. The child's strength was her intellect, propelling her to do well in school. The unguardedness of her skills created a darkn...

Boasting in your weakness is a strange juxtaposition of words. Typically, you don't connect boasting with weakness unless you mock someone about their inability to accomplish a feat. We call it bullying. But in God's economy, boasting is something every Christian should do as they think about being weak, vulnerable, and fragile because mature believers know that God will not compete with them. It...

Shows Main Idea – In this second lesson, Rick discusses that the sufficiency of Scripture means we can trust God's commands regarding relationships, whether others treat us right or not. This seven-part series builds one upon the other, so watching them in order is best. We also recommend you watch the video to read the content, see all the animations, and download all the supplemental graphics. A...

The situational difficulties we face are the contexts that reveal our hearts, which is how God purifies our faith and obedience. These personal, relational, and situational challenges are our opportunities to follow Jesus in the Christian’s call to suffer. Paul discussed it as boasting in his weakness, but what does that mean? I want to take you on a journey through the New Testament, laying out h...

A cracked jar of clay does not have to be a bad thing: if you know the potter. God prefers His creation to be fragile jars of clay, so He can display His miraculous, surpassing power to our friends and the culture. Of course, there is a problem with this perspective. Adamic clay pots are not content being fragile, vulnerable, or weak. We envy strength, power, might, and other self-reliant strategi...

Shows Main Idea – In this first lesson, Rick discusses how the Triune God is the foundation of all godly relationships. Loving and glorifying God necessarily leads to loving others. This seven-part series builds one upon the other, so watching them in order is best. We also recommend you watch the video to read the content, see all the animations, and download all the supplemental graphics. Afterw...

One of the most critical questions a wife could ask herself is how she compares herself to her husband. Is she better, worse, or similar to her husband? How she thinks about her role in her marriage and relationship with her husband will determine the trajectory of the union, for good or bad. I'm assuming—for this discussion—that both spouses are maturing, humble, and willing to communicate on the...

Shows Main Idea – There are five universal reactions to our mistakes. Four of them are wrong, and one is correct. As you think about what you do wrong, what is your most common response after making a mistake? Let’s say you sin against someone, and they confront you about what you did. Which one of these common responses do you typically use? Understanding our tendencies is the first step in chang...

When discussing submission problems in a marriage, we should equally scrutinize the submission and leadership constructs. It’s not an either/or proposition. For example, a half analysis focuses solely on the man’s leadership or the wife’s submission, leaving holes in the reconciliation process. We must examine both sides of the one-flesh coin. Typically, I start with the man’s leadership since he’...

It is common for someone to confuse their various roles within a hierarchal structure and their coequality with everyone within those structures. For example, a wife can be a sister, mother, employer, employee, church member, and citizen. She fits within all those structures and she's equal to every person within those contexts. This perspective does not negate each other but expand the possibilit...

Shows Main Idea – Nancy Pearcey is the author of The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes, as well as Love Thy Body, The Soul of Science, Saving Leonardo, Finding Truth, and Total Truth. She is a professor and scholar in residence at Houston Christian University. She has been quoted in The New Yorker and Newsweek, highlighted as one of the five top women apologists by Ch...

Every wife is equal to her husband, even though there is a call on her life to submit to him. These are not opposing truths but a biblically common sense perspective on marriage. Hierarchy and equality do not compete but expand the possibilities for how a couple can meet their extraordinary potential, releasing the wife to practically come alongside her husband in a disciple-making capacity so he...

A wife can be a husband’s most significant asset or a complicating liability. Most of us know this about our complementary roles in our marriages, but I wonder how many wives have thought through how to be an asset to their husbands by humbly leading them while submitting to them. Though a wife’s calling is to a particular role of submission in the marriage, it does not mean she can’t step into a...

Shows Main Idea – Did you know a wife can unwittingly motivate her husband to continue in his passivity? Suppose she does not understand the dynamics of his heart, shaping influences, and habituated ways of responding to social challenges. In that case, she may be unable to cooperate with the Lord to restore him to the leadership role God has called him to. Though she is not responsible for his si...

Harshness is one of the most typical forms of anger, and the most common context for it is within a family construct, especially between a husband and wife. When you put two or more sinners in a box for an extended period, their rawest Adamic tendencies will be impossible to hide. Dating is great, but living together forever increases the possibilities of sin exponentially. I trust these seven con...

Sometimes you can forgive someone for their sin against you and reconcile with them. It’s a beautiful picture of the power of the gospel. Other times you can forgive them, but you won’t be able to reconcile with them, another picture, albeit incomplete, of the gospel. The first forgiveness opportunity is transactional, while the second is attitudinal—in your heart. Either way, you can experience f...

Shows Main Idea – What does it mean to live a gospel-centered life? It’s a label and worldview that most Christians have heard. The gospel-centered life is practical, but many Christians do not know how to connect the gospel to everyday life. What does it mean? The gospel is an excellent idea for them but does not transform their lives or relationships. In this podcast, I will provide you with thr...

Sometimes in some relationships, a person will utilize unforgiveness as a tool for self-protection. They weaponize unforgiveness, even if they do so unwittingly. They might hold on to unforgiveness because they have been hurt so many times by the same person, usually a spouse. They are frustrated and disappointed and believe there is no other recourse but a self-reliant means of self-protection. S...

Imperfect people are a universal problem. Most of the time, we do not struggle with the quirks of our fallenness—until we start living with one of those imperfect people. When you put two sinners in a box for an extended period, there will be problems, making it essential to have a game plan for living with an imperfect person. I have seven tips for your consideration as I weave the life and times...

A lady asked, “Would you be willing to write about living with an immature husband and how to respond to him biblically? I need help; I would much appreciate it if you could give me some advice.” Her question is not new to me. We are no longer a Christian society, a time when the Christian ethos was the zeitgeist, and it did not matter as much if you were a Christian because even the unregenerate...