Life Over Coffee

A common rebuttal to the need theory concept is that we need love. I understand the perspective, but the truth is that we need a relationship with God; if we have that, and our relationship with Him is proper, our demands on other humans to meet our cravings for love should not control us. If we are practically realizing and resting in the gospel, we can turn the tables on all our relationships; r...

The most significant trap that tripped up Mable was that her desire for marriage and companionship had morphed into something God never intended. She had gotten caught up in the self-centered craving for perceived needs, as popularized by our culture. She saw the good God offered her through the lens of contemporary Christian literature rather than through the lens of Scripture. “Love Languages,”...

Have you ever wondered how it is possible to believe the right things yet do the wrong things? It happens regularly—at least to me. I am in situations where I have the opportunity to do the right thing. Sometimes, I make the wrong choice in those moments—even when I know what the right decision should be. A wrong response creates a gap between what I know to do and what I actually do. My orthodoxy...

Shows Main Idea – Rick and Lucia Thomas answer a stack of questions from our Life Over Coffee community. They address marriage conflict, communication, anger, dating, introversion, parenting, functional atheism, confronting others, and much more. You’ll love their interaction and the practical application of the gospel in their lives as they share with you things they have learned as a couple impe...

After a couple of sessions of getting to know Mable, I began to ask her specific questions regarding her fundamental understanding of theology and how that theology worked out practically in her life. I knew that if I could uncover what she believed about God and how she applied her understanding of God to her life, I would start to understand how she had gotten to this place in her life and marri...

I met Mable at a conference, where she approached me with a soft-bound copy of my Help! My Marriage Has Grown Cold booklet in her hand. She said that God had transformed her life and marriage through this little booklet. She asked me to sign it, which I gratefully obliged. The storyline is about a lady who decided to work on her marriage despite her husband's unwillingness. I hope many more couple...

Shows Main Idea – Marriage is a long-term, forever relationship with no escape clause. I realize there are biblical reasons for divorce, but it’s not how things should be. Typically, when there is a divorce, it’s because the couple has done something to kill their marriage. A gentleman wrote me a few years ago in tears. He saw my graphic about ten ways to kill your marriage and said he did all ten...

A happy home does not just happen. Like all good things, you must have a plan and be willing to execute hard work (Luke 14:27). The good news is that Christians have the schematic for happiness, which begins with confession and forgiveness. The crucial concern centers on whether we’ll do the hard work of confessing our transgressions and forgiving each other. The couple that understands this path...

Shows Main Idea – Into the Light is a teaching documentary on freedom from pornography that walks through the change process from bondage in sin to freedom in Christ. Jacob Valk and John-Michael Bout are the creators. Rick Thomas sat down with Jacob to talk about why he and John-Michael created this teaching documentary, Jacob’s life in Canada, his migration to Southern Seminary, and future aspira...

We will never forget the tragedy of 9/11. Most of us who are old enough remember exactly where we were on that tragic day. I was sitting in my counseling office at our local church, staring blankly at a TV screen as the news unfolded. The best word to describe my mental state was surreal, and it continues to boggle my mind to think how anyone could be so twisted that they would fly a plane into a...

Biff asked, “As a believer, does God’s Word require me to forgive a relative of mine time after time—essentially let her off the hook—for her unkind behavior and attitude toward me and the many cruel and untrue things she has done behind my back to other family members? She never asks for forgiveness and only tells me I need to understand her feelings. Am I wrong to stay my distance and set some b...

Shows Main Idea – Whenever there is a sin event between two people, there will always be a need to ask for and grant forgiveness. If they do not transact forgiveness, their relationship will not be all God intends. This episode is the second of a two-part series where Rick Thomas drills deep into the elements of forgiveness. Please listen to or watch Episodes 477 and 478 to understand forgiveness...

Forgiveness is only one aspect of the change process. It does not imply a complete change when discussing repentance because there are several links in the repentance chain. However, forgiveness is a vital mile marker that leads to complete repentance, making this link non-negotiable if we do not do it well. We cannot experience reconciliation and restoration—the subsequent steps in the order of r...

Shows Main Idea – Forgiveness is a multifaceted God-centered opportunity for two people to reconcile after there is a transgression. It's not always straightforward because of the complexity of sin and some relationship complications. Each person must work hard to understand biblical forgiveness and do all they can to reconcile when sin divides two people. In this talk, I will walk through many as...

Forgiving yourself is an odd teaching that has crept into Christians’ understanding of sanctification. It’s part of the culture’s futile way of thinking, hoping to get rid of their sins. They must try because they sense the same shame we do, but because they reject God and His Word, they create policies and pathways to alleviate their soul noise, always leading down dead-end streets and box canyon...

We watched The Blind Side a few weeks after it came out. We had heard rave reviews about the movie. Nearly every review, from the network of movie reviewers, connected to Hollywood to many of my friends, gave it the proverbial two thumbs-up. The conservative movie constituency applauded this film. Sandra Bullock won an Academy Award for her part as the lead. It was a no-brainer to watch, and, as u...

Shows Main Idea – Do you have a friend who does not mind telling you what’s wrong with you but never admits any of their mistakes, inadequacies, or sins? Working through and sustaining these kinds of non-reciprocating, inequitable relationships is challenging. May I walk you through ten ways to respond to a friend more willing to admit your faults than their own? Knowing how to lead relationships...

Have you ever granted forgiveness to someone who hurt you? Did you mean it? Did you really mean it? Or did you say, “I forgive you,” because it is the Christian thing to do? I’m not asking this question with a cynical eye. I’m asking because I know from personal experience there are times we can mouth the words “I forgive you,” but the heart can be far from genuine. We can succumb to Christian spe...

Biff destroyed his marriage. Shortly after that, he experienced conviction from God for what he did. His repentance was genuine, as affirmed by his pastor, several other church leaders, and two of his workmates. In response to the Lord’s maneuvering in his heart and with the blessing and oversight of his pastor, Biff made an authentic confession to God and his wife, Mable. In a strange turn of eve...

Shows Main Idea – In this seventh lesson, Rick helps us understand the benefit of increasing our opportunities for godly relationships by choosing friends, spouses, and disciplers wisely. This seven-part series builds one upon the other, so watching them in order is best. We also recommend you watch the video to read the content, see all the animations, and download all the supplemental graphics....

In our culture today, the phrase “I’m sorry” has become our first response when we sin against each other. The term has nearly wholly replaced biblical forgiveness. It is a passive statement that does not require the offender and offended to engage in meaningful, biblical transactional forgiveness. Perhaps “I’m sorry” is a good start in relational reconciliation, but the phrase will never complete...

Shows Main Idea – In this sixth lesson, Rick talks about how we speak volumes through our attitudes, actions, and priorities. Learn wise actions and priorities that will build godly relationships. This seven-part series builds one upon the other, so watching them in order is best. We also recommend you watch the video to read the content, see all the animations, and download all the supplemental g...

Self-reliant people live in a self-constructed, self-sustained worship structure that diverts their faith in God to rely on themselves, hoping to engineer pre-determined outcomes. It is not anyone’s real world because complete self-sufficiency is an impossible feat to achieve. No finite soul can be totally reliant. Not even Jesus had that ability—in His humanness. God did not create us to be auton...

It's easier to trust God when you're in control of things than when you're out of control and you're unsure what will happen next. Being in control provides you with a sense of security, confidence, and comfort, albeit it's man-made. The downside to this human-centered worldview is that it's misplaced faith. God calls us to trust Him, not our circumstances. He is the object of our faith, not prefe...

Shows Main Idea – In this fifth lesson, Rick walks through how Scriptures teach us words that build up and forbid words that tear down. Knowing and practicing these words foster godly relationships. This seven-part series builds one upon the other, so watching them in order is best. We also recommend you watch the video to read the content, see all the animations, and download all the supplemental...