Leading with Queer Integrity

The book is live. You might not be able see me, but I am doing my happy dance! :-) Queering the Way: Navigating Leadership Ethics from the Margins is available for purchase today — June 4th, 2026. There are three things I’d ask of you today, if you’re willing to support my book on its journey. #1 — Buy the book on Amazon first Coordinated purchases in the first few days help with author ranking —...

We live in a moment when knowing — in the sense of facts, of truth, of what can actually be trusted — has never felt more precarious. Information is everywhere. So is its opposite. The challenge isn’t access to knowledge. It’s discernment: being able to separate what is actually true from what has been distorted, weaponised, or simply repeated so often it feels true. But that’s the external versio...

Scooby and I took a break in the shade along the Lachine Canal today and I recorded this short video to share some news and a thought. Queering the Way: Navigating Leadership Ethics from the Margins is now available for pre-order on Amazon, ahead of its June 4th release. It is a personal book. A personal philosophy of queer leadership rooted in the Tao Te Ching — built around how you feel, what yo...

This morning I printed my manuscript for the first time. 150 pages. Just over 35,000 words. I’ve never written anything close to this in a single document, and holding it in my hands this morning produced a kind of joy I wasn’t quite prepared for. But that’s not what I want to talk about. It took four takes to finally complete today’s video. The previous three weren’t quite right, and the last one...

The book is finished. Queering the Way: A Leadership Ethics from the Margins — the one I started, stopped, abandoned, restarted, and then finally refused to put down — is done. I could publish it today, and I could hand it to you and say, “Read this.” I recorded a short video to share this moment, because some things are better said out loud than written down. Watch it above, or keep reading if yo...

This is it! The end of the 7-day program and one final step to INTEGRATE each of the six leadership principles you’ve discovered and leaned into and to… Pull Together All the Threads… Leadership is not a fixed destination—it’s a living practice. Over the past seven days, you’ve explored six core principles that shape how you lead with queer integrity. Now it’s time to pause, reflect, and integrate...

To LEAD is to live in alignment with your ethics—and to embody a kind of leadership that cultivates dignity, equity, and humanity. This is where the previous five leadership principles come together—where your values, vision, vitality, and voice converge in the service of others to truly make a meaningful difference. L – Liberation Lead in ways that liberate yourself and others from systems of opp...

Your DREAM is both the vision and the method supported by the clarity you’ve gained via the previous leadership principles. This is where vision becomes action—where the one thing you most want to create and bring into the world begins to take shape. Let’s dive into the “definitions” for the DREAM Principle: D – Desire Clarify the purpose and vision that moves you—the one idea that feels most mean...

How does your VOICE resonate with the people you lead? Let’s dig in… V - Vision Clarify the unique purpose and guiding vision behind your message. O - Organic Expression This is your unique message expressed from lived experience and personal truth. I - Impact Focus on creating connection and transformation, not just communication. C - Clarity Speak and write with clarity so others understand and...

Here’s what my coaching acronym for THINK means in the context of leadership: T – Thoughtfulness Cultivate a mindful and intentional approach to how you think and respond, recognizing the emotional undercurrents that influence decisions. H – Harmony Balance intellect with emotional awareness to make decisions that reflect your values and serve the greater good. Stay open to learning, being wrong,...

Your values are not just words—they’re the compass that guides every decision, action, and connection. When your beliefs are deeply understood and consistently expressed, you show up with unwavering clarity, confidence, and integrity. KNOW is an acronym for Key Notions of Worth . Here’s what they mean in the context of queer integrity. K – Key Identify the core values and beliefs that are essentia...

FEEL is my leadership coaching principle for Freedom, Energy, Enthusiasm, and Love. Each of these words speak to the nuance of well-being and how that affects your leadership. F – Freedom Create inner and outer environments that support emotional ease and personal sovereignty—so you’re not reacting to life but responding with intention. E – Energy Fuel your body and mind with practices that suppor...

Before we begin our journey together, I want to invite you to consider something that often gets overlooked in leadership spaces: Self-honesty. This is not to suggest that you need to fix or critique yourself, rather, I invite you to witness where you are right now as impartially and honestly as possible. Think of this as taking a picture—a snapshot of your current leadership experience. Not a gla...

An invitation to participate in a free ‘end-of-year’ 8-day coaching program: Empower Your Leadership with Queer Integrity. This program (which I will publish here on my Substack) asks you to show up every day for just over a week to watch a short video to describe the process and then answer some self-reflection questions. Yes, I know, that’s a big commitment— but it’s intentional . An intensive p...

I’ve been thinking about the tension between stillness and disruption… In today’s video, I talk about those rare moments when life feels like the near-perfect reflection of what’s above perfectly still water—versus the far more common days when everything feels muddled, confused, or upset. I reference the photograph I took of the Lachine Canal in Montréal this summer (above) because of how calm, s...

We live in a world where it seems we’re all expected to create something for output, where our productivity is what’s valued and measured. However, I believe that our efforts shouldn’t lead to burnout, overwhelm, or frustration. We are not machines, even though so much of our work culture still treats us like we’re part of a factory floor rooted in the Industrial Revolution. We all have 24 hours i...

In this video, I reflect on leadership and self-mastery for queer change-makers , especially during what I call a poly-crisis —facing many simultaneous challenges that can feel overwhelming. I explore the tension between wanting to create meaningful change and the limits of what I or any of us can realistically manage at one time. Drawing on Taoist philosophy and my own experiences, I emphasize th...

“To know that you do not know is highest To not know but think you know is flawed” In today’s video, I explore what moral relativism really means and how it can help us approach morality and ethics with an open and discerning mind. I begin with a simple but challenging question: How do you know what’s right—and how do you know what’s wrong? This leads into a deeper reflection on whether moral trut...

What does it really mean to accommodate others, not as a service or an act of compliance, but as a practice of respect and human dignity? In this video, I reflect on a recent CBC article about Quebec’s move to ban gender-inclusive language in government communications , and why such policies reveal more about power and fear than about efficiency. From the way we spell “colour” or “honour” to how w...

Leadership is never just about position—it’s about the invisible influence of your presence. In this video, I look at how self-awareness, emotional steadiness, and ethical clarity quietly shape the way people trust you and follow your example, whether you intend to lead or not. “Leadership isn’t about control—it’s about the quiet force of how you show up every single day.” Key points I explore: *...

Blame vs. Personal Responsibility: A Leadership Test It’s Friday, September 12, 2025. I mention the date because so much has happened this week—people are yelling, arguing, and losing their minds. Some are scrambling for explanations, trying to use the moment to lead forward in a way that respects human dignity and embraces responsibility for oneself and for the common good—not tribalism; not us v...

Hi, I’m Darren Stehle. Welcome to the Queer Integrity Leadership Podcast . This is where I speak directly to LGBTQ+ leaders and ethical change-makers who want to lead with clarity, conviction, and purpose. I share reflections on values, decision-making, and sustainable leadership — often drawn from my own writing and coaching — with a focus on living and leading with integrity. You won’t hear long...

In this video, I explore how small, overlooked disruptions—the needle in the haystack or the pea beneath the mattress—can quietly erode your well-being, and why disrupting routine is sometimes the only way to discover what truly needs to change in order to feel well and lead well. I share how a simple adjustment to my morning routine revealed the true obstacle that was draining my energy and clari...

In today’s video, I talk about what it really means to know when enough is enough. I reflect on a line from the Tao Te Ching, “Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity,” and how it speaks directly to queer leaders and change-makers who often feel pressure to overwork, over polish, or perfect everything. I walk through the five elements of my DREAM principle—Desire, Render, Emotion,...

Challenging social norms and taking a stand for equal rights, dignity, and freedom is not just activism—it is essential to queer leadership. You also need a supportive community so you don’t burn out or give up hope, and have an outlet to share and work with other change-makers and champions of humanity. But if you’re silencing yourself, second-guessing your convictions, overwhelmed by which cause...