LAPodcast - Weird, Funny News!

Stories this week include: 'World's Grumpiest Old Woman 2015' stages naked protest after becoming fed up with everything. Bus driver finally admits abject hatred of passengers. Bespoke private offices double as public toilet. Sex act on nature trail sets evolution back by approximately 65 million years.   Also revealed: Alex reveals his failed career as a magician...

Stories this week include: Well-endowed fleas begin reign of terror across South East London. Police finally crack Travel Cluedo theft. Man finds Holland-on-Sea deserted with not a Pokemon in sight. Eight-year-old fails to secure financial backs despite identifying emerging marketing opportunities.  Also revealed: We go on pilgrimage...

Stories this week include: Croydon cat killer film 'Operation Takehe' set for London-wide release. Highly skilled regiment of weaponised monkeys manages to steal nuclear codes. Footballer stands firm on proposed legal action. Unlucky Russian scientist watches awkward situation get significantly worse.  Also revealed: We launch the campaign for the 'Redistribution of Bank Holidays'...

Stories this week include: Domino's attempt to liven up boring cheese and ham pizza. Police track down flasher resembling infamous Bond villain. Siblings head to Blackheath Common for a 'Pokemon Hunt'. Teacher caught sneaking in to school to retrieve leftover fish fingers.  Also revealed: We debate how clean a pufferfish actually is...

Stories this week include: Former Chancellor believed to be amassing private militia to stage coup. Beloved inflatable employee forced into early retirement for a crude piece of 'misguided marketing humour'. Stables left facing bankruptcy after 15 tons of 'equine gold' goes up in flames. Unusual sculptures become the toast of the town.  Also revealed: We consider employing the services of a local...

Stories this week include: Olympics in jeopardy after box of matches go missing. Police appeal for witnesses after alleged 'milking' in local park. Telephone box protest ends in stalemate. Claimants to receive abusive voicemails from Job Centre staff until they re-enter employment says Work and Pensions Secretary.  Also revealed: Rob buys a birthday card...

Stories this week include: Jealous partner seizes on opportunity to release beloved family pet back into wild. Delivery driver leaves helpful note for self-employed mother. Village idiot finds herself in yet another hilarious scrape. Ministry of Justice deny reports of pilot scheme where drones used to deliver meals to prisoners.  Also revealed: The YouTube push continues...

Stories this week include: Tinder tool gets the military coup he rightly deserves. Victim of air rage allowed to fly plane for remainder of flight. Man delighted at prospect of first 'banana' party. Helicopter and leaf-blower fails to dry out cricket pitch in time for crucial game.  Also revealed: Anyone for YouTube?

Stories this week include: Woman shocked to see cock on roundabout. Terrifying creature revealed to be some old yarn.  Llamas stage protest against Tour de France. Man bored of Brexit captures pilot of UFO on film. Also revealed: We consider filing for copyright infringement...

Stories this week include: Police smash illegal rubber duck racing ring. Disgraced former Animal Hospital presenter causing stink in prison.  Man that probably met Michael Jackson convicted of tax avoidance. Mythical 10 man train believed to be active in Barnehurst. WARNING: High levels of Brexit contained within this podcast...

Stories this week include: Electro Smog set to release comeback album produced by Noel Edmonds. 31 years of karate experience failed to prevent savage attack on washing machine.  Vicar invokes diplomatic immunity from the Almighty following drunken arrest. Department of Work and Pensions refuses to apologise for placing all pensioners in 'non-working/technically deceased' group in order to re-calc...

Stories this week include: Concerns for the mental well-being of 'Priscilla Prim' increase following unprovoked attack on 'Auntie'. Shitterton upstaged by Brown Willy and Scratchy Bottom.  Woefully inadequate man exposed by partner with extensive sex aid collection. Maid escapes ill-conceived amateur remake of comedy farce starring Michael Palin. Also revealed: We revisit a wildly unpopular and of...

Stories this week include: Idyllic beauty spot left vacant following werewolf sightings. Police refuse selfie with naked sleepwalker.  Lonely man haunted by amorous pigeons. Bouncing pervert captured on CCTV. Also revealed: Alex threatens to reveal 'old stinker'...

Stories this week include: Band of Dickensian characters stage art heist hoax. Cuts to defence budget starts to bite.  Controversial politician provokes outrage by failing to mention Hitler during interview. Skin flute 'not a real instrument' claims orchestra. Also revealed: Rob goes to a concert...

Stories this week include: Ricky Gervais refuses to speak out against (or in favour of) the Croydon Cat Killer. Family day out ruined by sh*tty trampoline.  Jammie dodgers make off with £10,000 worth of biscuits. Couple has passports confiscated for their own safety. Also revealed: We launch an ill-conceived and idiotic competition...

Stories this week include: Epping Forest police constable finally begins to justify salary. South Norwood Animal Rescue and Liberty (SNARL) continue push for global domination.  McDonald's customer politely asked to leave after dining with axe. 'Celebrity' fabricates invasion of privacy story to raise funds for second pair of Bermuda shorts. Also revealed: We discuss the upper age bracket to have...

Stories this week include: Militant group annexes Swanage and forms breakaway state. Isolated farmer continues to lose grip on reality amongst her chickens.  Bristol residential claims to have had vision of infamous 'Hand of God' goal. Outgoing journalist decides to mock local dialect in final article. Also revealed: We make light of the impending collapse of capitalism.

Stories this week include: Intelligent parrot outwits captor. Violence erupts at Easter fun day after the hot cross buns run out.  Covert chip shop reviewer breaks cover.  All the items to make your party go off with a bang found in local canal. Also revealed: We return to Derby, just around lunchtime...

Stories this week include: Man resorts to violence after listening to the Archers. The homeless to be given reconditioned laptops to aid property search.  Gang of pensioners in the picture for suspicious swan murders.  Incomprehensible man believed to have normal sized hands. Also revealed: We discuss the plays of Arthur Miller and something about Donald Trump...

Stories this week include: Supermarket forced to clarify that their 'Bag for Life' cannot resurrect the dead. Woman outraged at 'vile' mannequin that can clearly be seen not wearing a watch.  RSPCA investigate picture of smoking magpie just for something to do.  Anonymous review of public toilet makes strange reference to 'sticky' facilities. Also revealed:  The derogatory comments about the suspe...

Stories this week include: Concerned shopper decides to 'water' frozen vegetables. Goose shot dead in drive-by sparks nationwide manhunt.  Extensive RSPCA investigation into cat murders reveals nothing of interest. Ironically named charity shop discovered to be selling live hand grenade. Also revealed:  The Woodland Murder Detectives make an unwelcome return...

Stories this week include: Lonely bachelor living vicariously through cat manages to entice fox into grubby world. Monkey with drink problem purchased by Eynsford based wildlife centre.  Man carrying child in fancy dress spotted walking along westbound carriageway of M60. Woman fails to identify brand of chicken and mushroom slice that led to vicious altercation. Also revealed:  Alex learns of the...

Stories this week include: Martin Clunes to star as the notorious Cat Ripper in six-part dramatisation. Bovidae cash and carry opens in North Wales.  Wildlife centre admits more animals appear to have escaped following audit. Woman mistakes birdsong for multiple gun shots. Also revealed:  We immerse ourselves in the world of Geoffspresso...

Stories this week include: Grieving terrapin stolen from family home. Local councillor vows to 'protect the water' of local pool following vandalism.  Couple find disproportionate amount of insects in vegetables. Man refuses to apologise for 'hilarious visual joke' satirising fast food chain's 'snappy' service. Also revealed:  We continue to make assumptions about our listenership...

Stories this week include: Bus company apologises for absurd diversion route. Waitrose reinstate silver service in cafes after pensioners threaten boycott.  Dorset County Council employs private militia to eradicate gangs of rough squirrels. Family relieved to find beloved relative in London Transport lost property office. Also revealed:  We attempt to find the Cat Ripper of Old Croydon Town...