Kill James Bond!

Alright, maybe The Tuxedo wasn't a fair movie to introduce Jackie Chan with, so here's a frankly great movie starring him and punished Pierce Brosnan- The Foreigner! A nung chinese veteran loses everything in a resurgent IRA bombing, so goes absolutely ape shit tracking down the CEO of the IRA - Gerry Adams!   Find the whole episode at our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/posts/6...

He's here.... the author of all yapayn. Tfw you're the author of all yapayn. Lets get some pogs going in chat Find bonus episodes at our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond   MERCH ALERT Pre-orders are open until midnight on the 15th of March for the KJB The Movie poster and t-shirt, both designed by https://twitter.com/MiaCain2001 ! You can get the Poster here: https:...

Alright this one fucking sucked. This movie is genuinely the most misogynistic movie I have ever seen, and I'm saying that as someone who has JUST watched every Bond movie in order. Jackie Chan wanted to meet stephen spielberg so he agreed to do this movie about a cabbie who becomes a chauffeur to James Bond (Real), then inherits his super powered tuxedo when things get sticky. Next bonus we're go...

We did it, boys. For 25.83 episodes the Double Dragons have tried in vain to secure guests. But for this most special 26th episode, we've only gone and fucking secured a guest appearance from Abigail Thorn, star of Philosophy Tube! Skyfall is a movie ripping itself apart at the seams trying to be two wildly divergent things, and boy does it show. Also, for the final half hour the movie becomes Hom...

Alright let me initially make the case for this movie: This is the single biggest movie in Hong Kong at the height of the classic hong kong era of movies (the year 1984), and it parodies beats and characters from the bond movies.   Now, the anti point here is that uuuuuuh it's fucking impossible to find a non-illegal link to watch this movie because modern movie distribution companies are just tha...

Sorry, fixed the audio now. Well, it's finally happened. The Fearless and Unstoppable Abigail Thorn has been waylaid to a permanent end by a blonde secret agent called some shit like Samantha Strapon while trying to infiltrate a diamond smuggling ring. To keep our spirits up in this trying time, we have gone back to that most precious to us, the Cars cinematic universe. Find bonus episodes at our...

Well, it's that time again. It's been ten whole free episodes, which is roughly twenty weeks, since our last Patron Q&A. Let's settle in, get a little parasocial, and find out which animals each host thinks they could take in a fight, or which Bond film would make for the best Muppets adaptation. This episode features Abi stating that she could bodyslam a deer, and Devon saying "I could win in a f...

Well, it's finally happened. we've talked about a movie for longer than the runtime of the movie. We also bid goodbye to a beloved classic character, Mitchell from the movie Quantum of Solace. It's always so hard to lose them like this... I'd only just recovered from the untimely demise of 'the character Sharkey from the movie License to Kill', and now I have to deal with a whole other wave of pai...

So, a few months ago we invited friend of the show Tom Walker on to discuss the movie Spy Kids 2. This time, since we're going bigger and bolder for the sequel, we thought hey- why not bring on Demi too? What we forgot is that putting the two together completes one of the funniest and most powerful chaos runes known to mankind.  Find Demi at https://twitter.com/DemiLardner and her stream at https:...

What happens when Mads Mikkelsen's attempt to invest Joseph Kony's money on shorting airline stock is foiled? Well, he'll have to organise a high-stakes poker game at the Casino Royale in Montenegro, of course! And there's only one man who can possibly infiltrate the game and stop him (Due to, and im not kidding here, the reasoning 'someone said you're the best at poker at the office').... James B...

It's time: KJB has finally watched Stormbreaker, the absolute box office failure of an attempt to create a film series based on the young adult Alex Rider novels by Anthony Horowitz. A british schoolboy must infiltrate the secret base of computer entrepreneur Mickey Rourke and figure out just what da heck is going on- while avoiding the worst jellyfish model this earth has ever known. And to help...

Alright frankly I consider this to be payback for the Casino Royale fakeout, and I think we should agree to call it even on this.   A few days ago, we reached a million downloads on Podbean. This is only really one app out of a few possible ones that listeners could use, but we decided to call this milestone and let you, the noble and loyal hogs, pick a movie, any movie, and we would review it. Af...

It's time- since day one people have been waiting in the wings for us to finally get to Casino Royale!   Accept absolutely no fucking substitutes babey!!! Find bonus episodes at our reasonably-priced patreon!  https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https:/...

Okay look, I know what you're thinking. Why is the James Bond podcast reviewing the sequel to the classic Jukebox musical Mamma Mia? The answer to this is largely because Alice and I are in constant competition to think of the most spurious possible link as an excuse to do an episode. Check this one out: It has got Pierce Brosnan in it. Thank you Find the full episode at our reasonably-priced patr...

Before cracking right on with the Craig years, We take a quick stop off to check in with what can be argued (and is, by us) to be Sean Connery's final Bond film- The Rock! This 1996 Michael Bay movie features Connery playing a quipping british spy, imprisoned for three decades for stealing a microfilm containing, canonically, All the US Government's secrets (Tell me that isn't Bond. I fucking dare...

I got a patreon DM a few weeks ago that simply said 'Cannon Ball Run'. Ensorcelled, I set about finding an extremely legal source to watch a movie about a bunch of guys who drive car fast across united state go far brroom brooom. fast. Hear it's got Roger Moore in it. not entirely clear whats happeneing To decode this, and also quite frankly to hold our hands because we're still traumatised from t...

Well friends, it's finally happened. We're at the end of the Brosnan years. And by God is he not going gently into that good night. Join us for a ""Celebration"" ""of all things Bond"" as the movie sucks itself off for being the 20th Bond film so hard that it forgets to actually be a movie in and of itself. And in a called shot that goes back to January of this year, we are joined by the man, the...

Give me good numbers Jimmy!! It's Abi's pick, and it's Pierce Brosnan starring as the titular Thomas Crown, a rich playboy pitted against the most trans gender art insurance agent of all time in this lifetime originals christmas movie that somehow contains more spycraft than the entire Brosnan Bond films combined. Find the full episode at our reasonably-priced patreon!  https://www.patreon.com/pos...

007, your enemy is this Anarchist. And your ally? Why, the humble Oil Baron, friend to all. This week: communism Hagrid gets slimed, We say goodbye to sesh gremlin Q, and the antagonist is an anarchist who 'believes in nothing'. But we are joined in this venture by the excellent Mildred from ThoughtSlime!  Find Mildred at https://twitter.com/ThoughtSlime https://www.youtube.com/c/ThoughtSlime Find...

It's the Kill James Bond Halloween Special, only two days too late! The fxllas head to transylvania (Abigail is legitimately in transylvania during the recording of this) to investigate vampires, werewolves, and bear witness to an absolutely perfect 3-point Birthday Boy reversal technique. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore...

This week, Kill James Bond, three trans people from Britain, ponder the eternal question: What if a media tycoon.... was bad? Join us for an in-depth investigation into Brosnan Bond's newest Technique (Walking up to the villain in a social setting and asking him directly if he's evil), and we encounter a Guy for the ages. Find bonus episodes at our reasonably-priced patreon!  https://www.patreon.c...

It's got three former Bond villains in it, it's themed around the fall of the USSR, and above all it's Alice's favourite movie, so we simply couldn't resist the opportunity to discuss Ronin, the star-studded Robert De Niro vehicle about hired killers stealing a briefcase. Join us for Hugo Drax painting miniatures, Elliot Carver going full IRA, Alec Trevelyan with impostor syndrome, and learn the d...

It's time for a new guy Would you believe it, they actually adapted Goldeneye for the N64 into a full-length movie! We got the extremely funny Mattie Lubchansky to discuss this attempt to bring Bond into the post-soviet world, largely by making a movie about soviet guys and just begrudgingly calling them 'russian' thoughout. Also everyone but Devon gets dip shit horny for Xenia Onatopp. You can fi...

You know our rules. It's the second movie in a series or nothin, Babey! And to this end we watched the incredible 'Spy Kids 2; The Island of Lost Dreams' with our dear friend Tom Walker. Written, Directed, Produced, and I think even Scored by Robert Rodriguez, It's got a star-studded cast, it's fast-paced, irreverent, and it's executive producer is Harvey Weinstein! Whats not to love? you can find...

AUDIO NOTE: Alice's mixer reset to default before this recording and we didn't notice, but her audio track exported with mine and Abi's audio mixed in. I did the best I could but there could be some wierdness with the way Abi sounds.  Welsh Bond Returns for his second and final movie, and it's barely even a Bond Movie James's best friend Felix is maimed and widowed by a "Latin American" drugs cart...