Keep Me Young

The thing about setting a low bar is that when you get two episodes in a row, it feels like Christmas!! Under promise, over deliver, baybeeee xoxoxoThis week we obv had to reflect on our respective family/extended family wedding experiences over the weekend, including but not limited to impromptu line dances, fake-out flash mobs, having the sound guy in your back pocket, crying, AND not crying. Po...

Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Theme Song: “Old” written and performed by pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick (https://www.instagram.com/popkisstheband/) (https://www.instagram.com/niconeeek/) (https://www.instagram.com/sydneypatrick_/) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

HAPPY PRIDE, DIVAS! Our only question this week is: Why are you gay? https://open.spotify.com/track/5Yof9eDjqqnpu6Lv42TmxR?si=5bd5955d330f429aMay and June are the time for EVENTS and PARTIES and APPEARANCES, so we’re gonna do our best to be in your ears every week but if we aren’t, it’s because time is a construct and not because we don’t love you. This week Keke Palmer and Sean Evans aka KeSean a...

We’re baaaaack, did you miss us? We’re not like other girls, because we take normal weeks off and then post on federal holidays. AS IS OUR RIGHT. Rest is anti capitalist and we are nothing if not social justice warriors. This week we *try* to keep it short and sweet, but naturally we get going on our Topics and Opinions and it’s basically a full length ep. Heather is staying young because of one h...

Hi besties! Welcome to a nighttime episode where your favorite hosts are in an insomnia induced FLOW STATE. A bunch of Gay Guys are keeping us young this week. Firstly, Jake Shane’s feral interview skills, and secondly, Heather’s parasocial relationship of two gay guys on the internet Gus Heagerty and Dan Pelosi. We all deserve a love like that!!! Actually so many things are keeping us young this...

Y’all we were in some kind of silly goofy mood this week, so buckle up for a LOT of detours and tangents on a podcast that’s already built on detours and tangents. This week Blake is staying young because of Devil 2. We collectively are staying young because it is a renaissance for the MOVIES this summer. We heart CINEMA and having a Communal Movie Going Experience. And the choir said “Heartbreak...

Surprise we’re back! Keeping you on your toes here at KMY and we’re back from spring break aka Blake’s family vacation to Florida where against all odds he got sick. But he also had a birthday! HBD king, way to stay on theme with the pod by aging another year! This week our president’s inevitably horrible takes after the White House Correspondents Dinner is aging us. And that’s all we’re gonna say...

Stop EVERYTHING and tell us right now if you’re older than 25 and had to sign up for the draft as an 18 year old. Hello??? Did everyone except Heather know about this? Thanks to Queen Donna for her second cameo to clarify Blake’s near military service and our condolences to the newest draftees and let’s all meditate on the implications of compulsory military service for one half of the population...

Two horrible politicians stand before me. But there’s only one photo in my hands. And this photo represents the girl that is still in the running towards becoming America’s Worst Trump Defender. I’ll only call one name and the girl that I do not call must immediately return to the house and pack your bags. Wait, PLOT TWIST both Pam Bondi and Kristi Noem were eliminated! Welcome back to Keep Me You...

A new bombshell has entered the villa! And he’s a banana with abs! If you’re counting, this is, in fact, week THREE of discussing our favorite adult high school freshmen, the Mormon wives, but 4 seasons of the show simply wasn’t enough so we’re injecting their personal lives (IG reels) directly into our veins. It’s working! Blake shines a light on a corner of the internet that Heather never wants...

WILL MOMTOK SURVIVE THIS???Trust that if we could make an entire podcast just about our real life actual blood relatives, the Mormon wives, we WOULD. But for now, that content lives here. Blake and Heather are both aging rapidly because of the many scandals following those poor girls (adult women) on that show about filler and hair extensions. We’re staying young by trying new things and feeling l...

A very happy Oscars week to all who celebrate! Do we actually celebrate? Do we actually know how to talk about film? Unclear! But we each know at least one person who has AMC Stubs memberships, so that’s something. This week Blake and Heather are staying young with supplements, first and foremost. But also by watching prestige television aka the best in the botoxed biz aka our favorite Mormon Wive...

Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is that actual hope on the horizon, or has it just stopped snowing? Who’s to say! Either way the world is on fire and we’re happy you’re watching it burn with us. Blake educates the children (Heather) on the latest K Pop drama and Heather educates the sheeple (Blake) on the *reads notes* Jim Carey conspiracy theories?? We’re both staying young because of our lord and savior Chris Fleming’s new sta...

U-S-A! U-S-A! That’s how you spell Alysa Liu, right? We’re smitten with all of our gold medal woke 3.0 girlies this week and truly have never been such experts of ice related sports. And maybe never will be again! Everyone is staying young because of the hope injected in our veins in the form of winter olympic sports. And yet, we’re also aging because of 1. How they’re really NOT like us, fr and 2...

Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Spotify: (https://open.spotify.com/show/5T1lFECguCHnfbzyokEWTM?si=JLozFQEVRnC0HXPjHMHPSA) Apple Podcasts: (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/keep-me-young/id1835442547) Instagram for Q&A/Depression Meals: (https://www.instagram.com/keepmeyoungpod/) Theme Song: “Old” written and performed by pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick (https://www.instagram.com/popkisstheband/) (https://www....

Hey y’aaalllll. How we doin? Fearing for American civil war? Cool, us too! Wanna take an hour away from the dread and gab with your parasocial pals? Okay, come on in. This week we almost immediately devolve into a tangent about fast food because we are nothing if not connoisseurs of fried brown things. Did you know people are donating blood to get rid of microplastics? Good luck to the recipients....

Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy Heather’s Birthday Week to all who celebrate! And ALL of you should be celebrating 🔫🔫🔫This week we start with a bang trying to answer life’s big questions: Are blowjobs as life changing as the gay hockey boys make them look? Are flawed characters important in TV and film even if they make us feel bad and weird? Should you talk to your friends about sex and show them your privates for scie...

Welcome to 2026, old! Whether we like it or not, time marches on and we’ve entered another year of Bill Gates’s internet’s analog alternate reality, also known as reality. We hope you’re hydrated and ready for more rants and hot takes and Glee references! This week, Blake is (r)age-baited by The People’s Reaction to Chappell Roan and Heather refuses to be okay with the low bar of entertainment tha...

Y’all coming on the cousin walk? In this very special holiday episode, Blake and Heather are bringing the pagan/Christmas/Hanukkah/solstice cheer. Feel free to throw us on the living room speakers to get your family to stop asking you when you’re having kids/buying a house/contributing to your 401k! Or (more likely) go outside for a menty health walk to get away from said family and hang with us i...

Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod. Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick  @popkisstheband @niconeeek @sydneypatrick_ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do astrology and Spotify wrapped have in common? Organizing people into groups with fun graphics, mystical and mysterious meanings that are maybe fake, and gay people love to yap about them! Stop gatekeeping and tell us what you’re listening to!  This week Heather and Blake persevere through the fog of being sleepyheads to chat about their favorite music of 2025, according to a subscription s...