Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Positive Discipline has been the book so many of us reach for since 1981, and now there’s a new edition. My guest Amber Traina, granddaughter of Dr. Jane Nelsen, worked alongside Jane on the revision and the new chapter on technology. We talk about why kind and firm sits at the heart of it and the difference between niceness and kindness. Amber shares the tech audit and why connection is what brin...

It's that time of year... The grade portal shows a pile of missing assignments, and taking the phone away feels like the only leverage you have. In this solo show I start in that moment with a teen who's behind in school, then work outward through the intentional ecosystem. We look at how your house runs and how connected you and your teen are, then at what you make those grades mean. I cover mist...

You can do everything right and someone in your life can still make it hard. In this episode, I talk with Amy Armstrong, LISW-S, founder of the Center for Family Resolution, about co-parenting boundaries and staying grounded when another person's reactivity pulls you off center. Amy shares her own story of chronic conflict, why trying to understand a difficult person rarely brings the control we h...

Dr. Stuart Slavin has spent decades studying what pressure does to young people, and what he found flips the usual conversation. When he cut class time and letter grades at a medical school, depression and anxiety dropped by 80% and board scores went up. A few things from our conversation: → Teen mental health started declining long before smartphones→ The average teen in his research sleeps six a...

Three weeks ago I told you about the text I got in an Atlanta hotel room. Today I share what happened after I got home, what I tried, and what finally shifted. This is the third show in the series, and the one the others were building toward. We look at all four ecosystem questions at once, the narrative I didn't know I was holding, and the anchor word practice I still use. It's also the last time...

Every parent of a teen has asked some version of this: Is this normal teenage behavior, or is something actually wrong? This week I go under your teen's closed door, attitude, screens, and secrecy. What's driving all of it is belonging, significance, and the private logic your kiddo is writing in real time. I share four questions that tell you where the trouble actually lives, honest signs that it...

I thought I knew everything about co-regulation and the nervous system when my daughter texted me from across the country to say she was dropping out. None of it was available to me. In this solo show I get into what happens when you flip your lid, why knowing better doesn't protect you, and the three things you can practice tonight so your body has the move loaded when the house isn't calm. This...

This week I'm sharing a conversation I had with Margot Bisnow, who interviewed more than 70 families raising wildly self-driven kids. She went looking for a formula and found something more ordinary. We get into how to tell a real passion from checking out, and what parents do in the moments after their kid fails. She also tells the story of biting her tongue when her son left college halfway thro...

I'm back from a couple weeks off and I'm fired up about the intentional ecosystem, the model I've been carrying around all summer. It's four layers, and you work them from the outside in: you, your relationship with your teen, your systems and routines, and the in-the-moment tools. This is my answer to the question I get more than any other, which is I know what I'm supposed to do, so why isn't it...

Even if you don't run a business, you're running something. In this conversation with business coach Trish Gower, we talk about what happens when your nervous system is driving the car. Over-functioning, boundaries that actually hold, the mental load, and why "I don't have time" is usually a story we tell ourselves. If you're a parent of teens who's exhausted from holding it all together, this one...

Our kids are watching how we talk about our bodies, and they're deciding what that means about theirs. In this episode I sit down with health and wellness coach Robynn Powers to talk about body image, food rules, and what gets handed down without us meaning to. We get into keeping food neutral, why restriction backfires with teens, and where to start if you feel like you've already blown it. Come...

Parenting teens has a way of surfacing everything we've been avoiding in our marriage. This week I'm talking with Shilo Minor about what happens when the connection thins out and you start feeling more like roommates than partners. We get into fawning, self-abandonment, boundaries that actually hold, and why the inner work is worth doing even when you're the only one doing it. If you love your per...

In this solo episode, I answer a question from a mom whose oldest is heading off to college across the country. How do you show up for your kid in the months before and after they launch? I talk through letting them practice freedom before they go, keeping routines and contributions in place, holding the both/and of excitement and sadness, and setting up communication that actually works. If you'r...

This week I'm getting honest about being in my own season of crisis and what it's teaching me about the fawn response, that fourth survival instinct after fight, flight, and freeze. If you've ever walked on eggshells with your teen or someone else you love, or have struggled to hold a boundary because you're scared of losing the relationship, this one's for you. I share the Adlerian roots of peopl...

In part two of my conversation with parent coach Susan Notis, we move past the information about teen cannabis use and into what you can actually do about it. We get into regulating your own nervous system before you talk, communicating without slipping into lecture mode, and how to tell when a consequence is safe to let unfold versus when it's time to call in help. If your teen is using and you f...

I loved this convo! My guest, Diane Sorenson shares what shifts when you stop performing motherhood and start treating it as a lifelong relationship. We talk boundaries as an expression of your truth, why holding a firm line is connection rather than its opposite, and how to stay steady when your teen is furious with you. If you've ever folded to make the bad feeling go away, press play. Guest bio...

What if the way we treat our babies and teenagers could actually predict whether they grow up peaceful or violent? In this episode, I welcome back Lori Petro to dig into the buried research of Dr. James Prescott, the pull of obedience culture, and how shame around our kids' bodies and emotions shapes who they become. We get honest about parenting teens, sexual development, and choosing curiosity o...

What if our teens are far more capable than our anxious culture lets us believe? (spoiler: they are) In this episode, I sit down with Lenore Skenazy to talk about raising independent, resilient teenagers in a world built on fear. We dig into why kids crave independence, how "worst-first thinking" keeps us stuck, and practical tools to help your teen practice real-world skills before they launch. I...

We don't parent in a vacuum, my friend. Midlife and the teen years pile on the paperwork, the appointments, the mental load—and so many of us are drowning in reactive mode. In this episode, I sit down with organization expert Lisa Woodruff to talk about the invisible work of running a home, moving from reactive to proactive, and her game-changing Sunday Basket system. If you're a parent of teens c...

Negotiation isn't a boardroom skill—it's a parenting skill, and every hard conversation with our teens is a training ground. In this episode, I talk with negotiation expert Atiya Qureshi about asking for what we need, managing our own emotional storms, and finding the relational middle ground between passive and aggressive. We dig into understanding interests over positions, the internal negotiati...

If your teen's disrespect, eye rolls, and slammed doors have you feeling stuck, this solo episode is for you. I'm unpacking a game-changing reframe: your teen isn't being a problem, they're having a problem. Drawing on Positive Discipline and the Rudolf Dreikurs's Mistaken Goal Chart, I share why discouraged teens act out, how power struggles and revenge cycles trap us, and five practical moves to...

In this solo episode, I'm diving into the messy, beautiful work of parenting through transitions. Whether you're watching your kiddo move from elementary to middle school, middle to high school, or out into young adulthood, this season of parenting tweens and teens asks something new of us. I'll share three shifts that have changed everything for me: naming what's actually happening, seeing the ki...

Raising a teenage boy today means navigating contradictory messages about who he's supposed to be — strong but soft, expressive but not too much. In this episode, I sit down with Don Campbell of Soul Fire Parenting to unpack what teen boys actually need from us: closeness, safe harbor, and parents who model vulnerability. We dig into the power-over parenting trap, the real cost of "tough love," an...

If you've ever stood in your kitchen wondering if your teen's weed use is "just a phase," this episode is for you. I'm joined by parent coach Susan Norts to talk about teen cannabis dependency, why today's marijuana isn't what we grew up with, and how to stay grounded when fear takes over. We dig into nervous system regulation, honest communication, and the long game of leading our teens through c...

In this solo episode, I take you into my comments section, where a listener called my parenting content "snowflake." I use it as a doorway into what Positive Discipline actually looks like with tweens and teens — why kind AND firm isn't soft, why consequences don't build skills, and how curiosity under the iceberg shifts how we show up. If you're raising an adolescent and tired of the "kick in the...