Jackie Faber: Inside My Journey

If you remove sex from a relationship, all you have left is friendship. At least that's what people keep telling me. Over the last few weeks, I've found myself fascinated by the reactions to that idea. Not because I think sex doesn't matter, but because I can't seem to understand why friendship is so often treated like the consolation prize. What if friendship isn't what's left over when everythin...

For years, I deeply identified with anxious attachment. I believed distance meant danger. Space meant rejection. Uncertainty meant abandonment. And because of that, every relationship became organized around securing connection, preserving closeness, and preventing people from leaving. But what if anxious attachment isn't actually about love? What if it's a nervous system safety-seeking pa...

Today is a really big day for me because my book, Permission to Be, is officially out on Amazon. But this episode isn’t just about the release of the book. It’s about the evolution behind it. What started as a book about loving an addict slowly transformed into something much deeper as I moved through divorce, emotional abuse, spirituality, nervous system healing, and ultimately — embodiment. Ever...

There was a time when I viewed harmful behavior almost entirely through the lens of unconscious survival. Then I entered online abuse discourse… and suddenly everything became intentional, calculated, toxic, narcissistic, manipulative. In this episode, I talk about my own experience moving between those two extremes — from over-humanizing harmful behavior to briefly dehumanizing human behavior alt...

In this episode, I talk about one of the biggest patterns I’ve uncovered within my relationships: over-functioning. For years, I thought I was being loving. Supportive. Responsible. I thought I was creating emotional safety. But underneath it all, I was often managing everyone’s emotional experience because I was afraid that if people were uncomfortable, hurt, or having different emotional reactio...

We’ve been taught to prioritize impact over intent. To be aware. To take responsibility. To make sure what you say lands well. And on the surface… that sounds healthy. But what if the way this is being applied is actually training you to leave yourself in real time? In this episode, I break down how “impact over intent” has quietly shifted from accountability → into over-functioning. Not because y...

You stop people pleasing… and suddenly you start seeing it everywhere. You notice who can’t say no. You notice who overextends. You notice who says yes… and then feels resentful. And it puts you in a weird position. Do you adjust because you can see their pattern? Or do you let them face it? In this episode, I break down what’s actually happening in those moments—how overfunctioning doesn’t just d...

You’ve told your story. So why do you still feel stuck? In this episode, I break down something no one in the healing space is talking about: The difference between processing your story … and rehearsing it Because there is a phase where telling your story frees you. But there’s also a point where repeating it keeps your nervous system stuck inside it. I share my own experience of going viral talk...

A client inside the Self-Safety Lab sent me a video this week about self-trust and internal safety. The creator said something I’ve been speaking about a lot lately—that when you’re fully self-referenced, people can’t manipulate you or gaslight you. And while I agree with that… I think it goes deeper. Because this isn’t just about what other people can or can’t do to you—it’s about what you are no...

We’re told that empathy means meeting people where they are. Validating. Understanding. Holding space. And I actually agree with that… but lately I’ve been running into something that doesn’t quite add up. Because what happens when “where someone is” is inside a pattern that’s keeping them stuck? In this episode, I’m breaking down a real moment where the only honest thing I could say was “I unders...

I wasn’t planning on recording this episode. But something came up in my own relationship this week that I couldn’t ignore. I found myself in a dynamic with zero pressure — no expectations, no timeline, no need for sex to go anywhere… and yet my body was still tracking everything. Am I taking too long? Am I doing this right? Are they enjoying this? And in that moment, I realized something: This is...

Relationships aren’t actually hard. What’s hard is staying with yourself when something gets activated inside of them. In this episode, I break down the real reason relationships feel like work—and why all the communication tools, love languages, and “healthy relationship advice” don’t actually change the experience. Because the problem isn’t the relationship. It’s what happens inside of you while...

Sometimes the thing we’re searching for isn’t something we need to create — it’s something we need to recognize. In this episode, I share the story of how a relationship in my life didn’t suddenly appear… it slowly revealed itself. For years I had been talking about conscious relationships — what they feel like, how they work, and what it takes to build them — even though I hadn’t personally exper...

There’s a stage of awakening no one really prepares you for. It’s not bliss. It’s not clarity. It’s not “I found myself.” It’s the moment your consciousness expands so quickly that your logical mind can’t keep up. Language lags behind awareness. Identity structures start dissolving. Your brain scrambles to make meaning. And if you don’t understand what’s happening, it can feel destabilizing. In th...

There are certain concepts in healing that used to infuriate me. “You have to love yourself first.” “Stop outsourcing your safety.” “Let them show you who they are.” At one point in my life, those ideas felt dismissive and invalidating. Not because they were wrong — but because I hadn’t experienced them yet. In this episode, I break down the difference between cognitive understanding and somatic e...

Love is one of the most talked about — and most misunderstood — concepts in spirituality. Many of us were raised believing love is something we earn, perform for, or receive from other people. Then, if we begin a healing or spiritual journey, we often swing to the opposite extreme and learn that love is something we source from within. But what if both perspectives are incomplete? In this episode,...

Loneliness isn’t always a sign that something is wrong. In this episode, I share a personal experience of moving through loneliness that wasn’t rooted in insecurity, dysregulation, or fear — but in embodiment. After a year of deep spiritual exploration, nervous system work, and identity shifts, I began to notice something unexpected: my human had been quietly overlooked. This episode explores how...

Listener note: This episode discusses abuse, trauma identity, and victim consciousness. Please listen at your own pace. This episode explores a difficult and nuanced insight: how victim consciousness can quietly turn into self-righteous narcissism — even within healing spaces. Before diving in, I want to be clear: this conversation is not about denying abuse, minimizing harm, or blaming victims. A...

I almost didn’t record this. Not because I didn’t have the outline or the plan — but because starting felt vulnerable in a way I couldn’t logic my way out of. In this first episode, I share why beginning this podcast was difficult, what finally moved me to press record, and the deeper purpose behind this series. This podcast explores healing, trauma, nervous system regulation, personal sovereignty...