It's All About Connection! NVC With Dr. B!

Additional Resources: Website:  https://www.thebigbiemethod.com Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethod Twitter: @ TheBigbieMethod Instagram: @ thebigbiemethod LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindybigbienvc YouTube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel

There are a number of topics we discuss all in service to greater understanding around presence.  Self Connection - this is modeled on the show 5-4-3-2-1 - a cool activity you can do to get yourself back to presence, especially in a heated moment Having patience with presence and how it is similar to a meditation process. How NVC is mostly about presence, so is it useful to use NVC language withou...

Imagine having a place to go to practice, on the regular, your NVC skills and where you can get very specific feedback on your skill level.  TBM Empathy Gym is a membership based program where people can go to be in an NVC community, practice their NVC skills, and get performance-based feedback on their progress in learning and implementing NVC.  This episode goes into the details of The Empathy G...

Additional Resources: Website:  https://www.thebigbiemethod.com Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethod Twitter: @ TheBigbieMethod Instagram: @ thebigbiemethod LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindybigbienvc YouTube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel

We've talked a lot, in past Episodes, about evaluative language and how it is tied to the trauma epidemic which tends to have a dominoes effect of one person (often unconsciously) triggering another.  If this is so, than where do appreciations come into play?  Is it in service to connection to tell someone they are great or they did a great job?  Dr. B and Heather unpack this topic a bit.  They ta...

Expressing is just as important as giving empathy in the NVC model, and yet it is the component that is sometimes overlooked.  In this Episode, we discuss why it's important to express and how to do so using Observation (O), Feelings (F), Needs (N), and Request (R). We debated using this recording, because we got a "little silly and raw" - meaning we were concerned about effectiveness and acceptan...

There tend to be some patterns that occur, especially when people just start learning NVC and then want to share it with others.  In this Episode, Dr. B and Heather address to questions and provide a bunch of tips and insights:  What to do when you first learn NVC and want to share it with others? How to give empathy to someone who is jackaling without agreeing or reaffirming their judgments?   Ad...

If giving empathy and expression in NVC is based in connecting around needs, what is one to do when the other person involved is not interested in contributing to your needs?  This is a very tough topic to explain and Dr. B shares a bit about her own process when this sort of thing happens in her life.  It tends to be helpful to do deep self-empathy and "meet"  your own needs but not in the way th...

Kelly McGrath worked for 20+ years in the General Counsel's office at the Florida Department of Children and Families.  After learning NVC from Dr. Bigbie, she was inspired to take her work in a different direction and now has a private law firm with the focus on communication first.   In this Episode, she shares a bit more about her own personal practices to support herself in her career and she...

In this episode, we quickly go over the components of empathy:  presence, reflection, and needs guesses.   Then, you will hear Dr. B going through a list of "mock" statements and Heather responding - first with reflection, then Other Conversational Responses, and then taking needs guesses.  The contrast is done to help people experience, side-by-side, the different kinds of responses.  We, especia...

In his book, "My Grandmother's Hands:  Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending our Hearts and Bodies," Resmaa Menakem shares about historical and generational trauma and how it lives in our bodies.  Dr. B believes this work is significant and very much aligned with the ability to move or not with NVC skills in the world  - to disrupt the trauma epidemic we see playing out around us.   Additio...

After a conflict that started on Mother's Day, Dr. B and her daughter had a conversation using their NVC skills and it was "quickly" and "sweetly" resolved.  Afterwards, Dr. B wished she had recorded the whole thing so that her listeners could hear how this process works in real life situations.  Luckily, her daughter was game to come on the show and recreate the conversation so that listeners cou...

Sometime out loud empathy may not be connecting and, in those circumstances, silent empathy may be just the ticket.   What is silent empathy?  How is it different than just getting quiet in a moment?  When is the best time to use silent empathy?  When might you want to try a different strategy?  All of this is discussed during this week's episode.   Additional Resources: Website:  https://www.theb...

According to author, Steve Taylor, humans have three different states of mind:  Abstraction, Absorption, and Attention.   Abstraction is the busy mind, consumed with thoughts about past and future.  Our minds are so consumed that we are not plugged into the present moment at all.  This is, primarily, where most of us live. Absorption occurs when we are sucked into some kind of activity and it take...

WAIT stands for Why Am I Talking or What Am I Thinking?  Both are important and serve different roles in the NVC process. It's important to let the other know that you are WAITING - otherwise there is a lot of room for making up stories and causing further disconnection. There are a number of ways to share that you are WAITING.  Dr. B gives several examples on how to do so.   Additional Resources:...

"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking that created them." Dr. B ends this episode with quote from Albert Einstein.  This week's guest provides a perfect example of addressing conflict at a very different level of thinking.   By providing this week's example as well as the one on Episode 32, it is our hope to inspire others to try doing conflict in a total...

Additional Resources: Website:  https://www.thebigbiemethod.com Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethod Twitter: @ TheBigbieMethod Instagram: @ thebigbiemethod LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindybigbienvc YouTube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel Be sure to leave a rating and review on  Apple Podcasts  and share it with a friend that would get some value! The Bigbie Method web...

This episode starts out with some lamenting and some empathy regarding the technical problems with the podcast's audio quality - which were pointed out by a listener. Dr. B. is a bit frustrated and perplexed about how to go forward and receives empathy from Heather - thus giving our audience an example and reminder of the NVC empathy process. NVC empathy combines presence, reflecting, and needs gu...

On self-connection..."... It's a good habit to get into. I recommend people start doing this when you start a meeting, when you're beginning a class, before you get out of your car in the morning to go to work, just pausing and getting connected with self because often we don't even know what the heck is going on inside there, so then we certainly can't speak from that place,"  (00:36.6) "Yeah, I...

Mournings and Celebrations are a way of talking about things that have occurred while keeping our language judgment free. NVC groups tend to use this kind of language during check in and check outs to help people talk about the NVC process while using the NVC process.  We go more into detail about what this means in this episode.  Some folks really struggle with the concepts of Mourings and Celebr...

Dr. B discusses why she thinks making this "simple" distinction, between thoughts and feelings,  in our communication can bring about more peace in our world. It's important to practice in neutral situations to form a habit that can show up in the midst of conflict and help the conflict end in greater connection. Stating thoughts as thoughts, as opposed to couching them in feelings, provides more...

In this Episode, you will learn about the various components of The Bigbie Method (TBM): The Intro Course  - a foundational course to learn the basics of Nonviolent Communication The Empathy Gym - a membership style gym where you workout your empathy and NVC muscles instead of biceps.  "Just sit and click" and let your NVC skills come to life in your daily life. The TBM Certification process - for...

In this Episode, we share the following information What is The Bigbie Method? How did The Bigbie Method come to be? A little about the Community Connections Restorative Justice Program that was the "testing ground" for The Bigbie Method. The various services provided by The Bigbie Method Information on the upcoming Intro to NVC course offered by The Bigbie Method (learn.thebigbiemethod.com) Addit...

Here are some of the questions answered on this episode. What do you do when you have to have a difficult conversation with your child?  Heather and Dr. B roleplay a situation between mom and 9-year old. Where do feelings guesses fit into the empathy process? Does taking feelings guesses when in jackal talk help you or someone move more towards understanding their needs? Listen in to find out! Add...

"Would you say one of our greatest freedoms is in our ability to choose how we react to things? ."  (00:43.2) "How did you get involved and what kind of an impact or what changes have you seen since you've been using NVC? "  (05:28:7) "...if you're speaking in observational terms, then you have a common place to start the conversation, you're not getting caught up in judgments that start the conve...