Iterate with Ashley

On one hand, someone asks how you’re doing, you say: “Fine.”  Or your partner has been treating you like their personal merry maid services. And you have been silently raging for weeks, but when they ask if something’s wrong… you say, “I’m fine.”  On another hand, someone comes for a member of your team and like a mama bear protecting your cubs in the wild, you push them behind you and go to war. ...

Curious about what it’s like to coach with me behind the scenes? This audio is for you.  Inside this bonus episode: 6 MIN — I give you the chance to hear from a client of mine who is 6 weeks into our 6 month coaching relationship. Joy is a CFO with an MBA. She reached out initially after learning she was severely underpaid.  She wanted to negotiate a larger compensation package and be paid fairly....

In this episode of Iterate with Ashley I'm sharing my journey from being married and expecting that I would one day have children to joyfully choosing to be childfree as a single woman. I answer the question: "Aren't you afraid you'll regret it?" I share the core beliefs I have about my life and how they support my major life decisions. And in true Ashley fashion, I rant abou...

Them: “Are you volunteering for the book drive again this year?” You: “No.” Them: “Oh, why not?” You: “I don’t want to.” **** crickets. awkward silence**** Could you calmly and confidently have this conversation with someone without:  Feeling an ounce of guilt trickle down your spine? Feeling dread drop into the pit of your belly?  Feeling tingly sensations flitter in your fingers? Yes! Stop readi...

About 6 weeks ago, I got on a call with my therapist and he said, “You look like you ate a string of Christmas lights. You’re glowing from the inside out.”  I offered him a grin and teared up, because I felt it.  Like oil on a hot stove crackling as it gets hotter and hotter, I’d been feeling it. Like the pilot light on a furnace gets sparked — it felt like I my energy had been reignited.  I was n...

Have you ever felt the nagging feeling that you were just built different? Like maybe real fulfillment or contentment with life would forever be playing a game of hide-n-seek with you? Despite having checked the boxes, hit the career milestones, got the relationship, booked the trip... you still have felt like you're playing a smaller game than you wanted to be? I can relate and many of my cli...

From the time you were a tiny-tot, you’ve been trained — see also indoctrinated — to make work/career/ job the main thing Leaving the the rest of your life to play side-chick.  You were taught to make your career the fancy centerpiece of the dining room table that is your life— but you’ve realized it’s not working for you.  Career is no longer king — That’s the old model.  You don’t just want to l...

“Maybe I just got lucky?”  “Maybe it was my connections?”  “Maybe it was just a coincidence?”  “Maybe they didn’t have a better option?” Nah, boo – you did that.  Own that sh*t.  The above were lies I was believing when I was in self-protect mode after a toxic AF workplace experience left my confidence in the toilet.  These useless thoughts kept me stuck in career purgatory making $14/hr when I ha...

Hi Friend—  In this episode we cover a range of ideas, see the highlights below:  Riff on relationships and allowing yourself to be supported. I talk about how this hasn’t been the easiest thing for me as someone used to being the “strong friend.”  Why I question “imposter syndrome” and how I see it as something that pathologizes normal human behavior.  The value of being a good question asker.  A...

In this episode I share:  A riff on proving your power to yourself.  The difference between being seen, felt, heard and understood and having the power bring solutions to problems.  A breakdown on my favorite part of the Anti Confidence Clinic and how you can initiate your very own Personal Power Project.  And more… PS…  Enrollment is open for the Anti-Confidence Clinic.  A 6 week program where yo...

Holy sh*t! We did it!!! We have officially completed 30 episodes in 30 days.  What an incredible feeling — I for sure doubted whether or not we’d make it happen at the beginning of the month and also knew it would be completely freakin’ epic to actually do it. This was a real time of example of making action taking feel as easy and stress free as getting your coffee in the morning!  In this episod...

I was comparing some of the biggest moments in my life where I felt stuck — like life just had me in freakin’ chokehold and it occurred to me that there was one thing happening every single time.  When I felt stuck in my career — like the job I was doing was paying me well, but sucking the life force energy from me.  When I felt stuck in my body — like no matter what I was doing, I couldn’t releas...

In this episode I’m sharing:  The simple way I get myself to workout when I don’t feel like it and how you can use this process to motivate yourself to do anything.  What avoidance is often a true signal of and how to get yourself to move through it. Why confidence is a means to an end and how I intend for making progress to be for you… plus more.  Ready to beat procrastination once and for all? ...

In this episode I share:  Why I believe that confidence is a feeling and power is a knowing.  What hustling for confidence says about how you feel internally and the spoiler alert that will set you free.  A quick riff on reclaiming power in my body after gaining 80 pounds.  The one question to ask yourself if you are feeling a sense of stuckness about anything.  A simple process for moving out of...

In this episode I share:  The four words that save my ass daily and were especially useful as I tried to bridge old success with new intentions.  A coffee analogy that will change how you see confidence and your personal power.  The importance of finding evidence and building a case for your success.  When you aren’t sure or certain, it’s enough to start with curiosity.  And more… Plus the details...

In this episode I share: Why I officially appointed myself the Anti-Confidence Evangelist and what sparked it.  The biggest myth about confidence is debunked. If you listen to nothing else from me ever again, I’d want you to hear this one thing.  How doing this one thing is like ‘crack’ for your brain… it literally gets addicted and it’s actually good for you! The one sentence I used to bridge my...

How is it that y'all just keep getting me to talk about things on the pod in a way I don't anywhere else. I tell on myself for 40 minutes -- allow the ways I showed up in my marriage to be a blueprint for you to make more useful, informed, powerful choices in your relationships. Blame is easy. Responsibility is tougher -- and that's also where the magic is, where the transformation occ...

Today, August 23, would’ve been my 15 year wedding anniversary. In honor of the marriage that didn’t last, I’m doing…  You probably thought I was gonna say, launching a new relationship podcast – because isn’t that what everyone is doing these days? Maybe it’d be named “Failure to Last: The Do’s and Don’t of Making it Work” –  but I’m really just gonna share 15 of the gifts (read: lessons) I recei...

2017 supporting my dad with terminal cancer  trained me for supporting his sistercousin with terminal cancer in 2020. 2012 wrongful termination trained me for being laid off in 2020.  2014 exiting a high demand religious organization trained me for exiting a 15 year relationship and 9 year marriage  in 2017  There’s this saying… “What got you here won’t get you there.” And I’d like to offer you a...

Did I really just say that?  Jesus be a MFing fence. LOL. Okay that’s dramatic AF. It wasn't actually that bad... That said, the former church girl died another small death today. All jokes aside, I don’t know if there is a world where I ever thought I would talk about how I gained 80 pounds after wrongful termination and the issues that created in my sex life, but I digress. It's a univer...

I did a thing I don’t like to do…  Super unfortunate.  And apparently deeply necessary.  Have you ever heard the saying, “your why will make you cry?” — It’s something that I heard about 10 years ago and I believed it… also I couldn’t seem to find that deep emotional place consistently for years.  I’m sharing mine with you in today’s… along with:  Why the idea of your next level being outside of y...

In this episode I share:  The mental game I play when I want to get myself to take action and don’t feel like it.  Why you may have been caught off guard or felt unprepared to handle the crappy things life has thrown your way.  What I believe is more useful: mental toughness or flexibility/adaptability? The Japanese practice that helps me see brokenness as beautiful.  What it looks like to transfo...

In this episode I share: What does it mean to be in the bonus round of life and how this view launches me into immediately feeling good about my life, even in shitty moments?  What does it look like with a concrete example to iterate on something and make it better?  3 examples of what intuition and divine guidance feels like for me.  The concern I have about “women’s issues” becoming the gospel o...

Almost everything you've been taught about happiness is wrong... ok, maybe not everything, but 99% of it. You've been taught that real happiness comes from something outside of you. That you the world around you had to be different. That people in your life need to be less annoying. And those are lies. Simply put: you can be happier today. right now with nothing in your life changing. Your...

In this episode I share:  How tapping into the version of you who’s already on the other side helps you make better decisions.  The single most powerful question you can ask yourself at the start of a crisis… or really all the way throughout.  A two part framework for a crisis communication plan and honestly, a lot more.  If you wanna feel like a badass with resilient communication — you’ll give t...